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Old 09-14-2007, 06:33 AM   #1
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soul’s inventory

i am chosen
i am drawn from the bones of the Kalevala
i am ephemeral
i am the bitter taste in your mouth
i am handcrafted and ornate
i am rubble at your feet
i am empty
i am Väinämöinen
i am a suffusion of cloud
i am a vision of the birth of the Universe
i am Planck’s Constant
i am the written word
i am stasis incarnate
i am an Archean memory
i am the cool breeze in your hair
i am flotsam
i am jetsam
i am the aftermath
i am the epilogue

i am immortal
i am sculpted from ancient polished stone
i am anodyne
i am the storm that surges in your belly
i am wild and untamed
i am Filteau
i am your beginning
i am Persephone Papillon
i am a shadow of the night
i am the exhale of a newborn star
i am the hero of the howling wolves
i am beyond preternatural
i am depth perception
i am thirst embodied
i am the thorn in your side
i am sacred
i am scared
i am a dark soul about to take flight
i am a little girl upon a beam of light
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Old 09-14-2007, 09:45 AM   #2
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Re: soul’s inventory

awesome
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Old 09-20-2007, 06:42 AM   #3
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by lotus. View Post
awesome
:) x100
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Old 09-20-2007, 08:44 AM   #4
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
i am the exhale of a newborn star
i am the hero of the howling wolves
i am beyond preternatural
i am depth perception
i am thirst embodied
i am the thorn in your side
i am sacred
i am scared
i am a dark soul about to take flight
i am a little girl upon a beam of light
I think soul's inventory as a whole is amazingly awesome, but this is my favorite part.
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Old 09-20-2007, 09:11 AM   #5
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by lotus. View Post
I think soul's inventory as a whole is amazingly awesome, but this is my favorite part.
why?
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Old 09-20-2007, 12:30 PM   #6
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Re: soul’s inventory

The line "i am the exhale of a newborn star" is what caught my attention in the first place.

It flows well and embodies both the yin and the yang. Or I could also say that it's the juxtaposition. It ends on a good note, transcending with "i am a little girl upon a beam of light".
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Last edited by lotus.; 09-21-2007 at 10:15 AM.. Reason: space
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Old 09-20-2007, 05:27 PM   #7
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Re: soul’s inventory

You are beyond me
Persephone
like an ancient
iridescent nebula
The exhale of
a newborn star
and the sudden
fury of
a cosmos
awakening
I will forever
orbit
but never
arrive

Taken from
Thirst - Confessions of Persephone & The Divine Wind

Last edited by Shax; 09-21-2007 at 07:49 AM..
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Old 09-21-2007, 08:35 AM   #8
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax View Post
You are beyond me
Persephone
like an ancient
iridescent nebula
The exhale of
a newborn star
and the sudden
fury of
a cosmos
awakening
I will forever
orbit
but never
arrive

Taken from
Thirst - Confessions of Persephone & The Divine Wind
I truly love it!
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Old 09-21-2007, 03:54 PM   #9
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Re: soul’s inventory

I especially like the "I am sacred, I am scared". the entire peice is very well done, I get a good feeling about the writer's divine take..."I am sacred, I am scared" is the most relatable to me. very good.
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:58 AM   #10
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by revolve View Post
I especially like the "I am sacred, I am scared". the entire peice is very well done, I get a good feeling about the writer's divine take..."I am sacred, I am scared" is the most relatable to me. very good.
Those were two of the first lines I wrote.

Thank you.
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Old 10-01-2007, 06:15 PM   #11
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Re: soul’s inventory

sheeeeit that was awesome.
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Old 10-04-2007, 04:41 AM   #12
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
sheeeeit that was awesome.
sheeeeit, I like your avatar.

Thank you.
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Old 10-04-2007, 09:34 AM   #13
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Re: soul’s inventory

Shax's poem >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> iota's (or anybody's) avatar
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Old 10-06-2007, 05:46 AM   #14
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
Shax's poem >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> iota's (or anybody's) avatar
Nope!
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Old 10-06-2007, 05:56 AM   #15
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Re: soul’s inventory

Ha!
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Old 10-06-2007, 08:11 PM   #16
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Re: soul’s inventory

I want to identify with what you are not.
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Old 10-07-2007, 10:25 AM   #17
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Re: soul’s inventory

interesting
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Old 10-08-2007, 07:58 AM   #18
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Re: soul’s inventory

pimpteresting
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:14 AM   #19
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by biff0016 View Post
I want to identify with what you are not.
too often the mouse
is thought to hold
a hidden strength
a dextrous solution
in the face of some
insurmountable
inexplicable
indecipherable
pain

I am not this mouse
I will not pluck thorn from paw
I will die with a broken back
a sniff away from
the prize
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:54 AM   #20
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Re: soul’s inventory

jesus. i felt the pain, right there...
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Old 10-09-2007, 12:54 PM   #21
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax View Post
too often the mouse
is thought to hold
a hidden strength
a dextrous solution
in the face of some
insurmountable
inexplicable
indecipherable
pain

I am not this mouse
I will not pluck thorn from paw
I will die with a broken back
a sniff away from
the prize
I don't venture over here that often, but i'm glad i caught this thread. Beautiful.
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Old 10-09-2007, 07:46 PM   #22
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax View Post
too often the mouse
is thought to hold
a hidden strength
a dextrous solution
in the face of some
insurmountable
inexplicable
indecipherable
pain

I am not this mouse
I will not pluck thorn from paw
I will die with a broken back
a sniff away from
the prize
When I was 16 I was staying at a girl's house who lived across the street from me. We were awakened by a mouse that had managed to trap itself in a small empty trashcan that was relatively close to the bed. She took a pair of scissors and attempted to make cuts on the little mouse's neck so it wouldn't make noise again. Somehow she inadvertantly cut the mouse's tongue off. It squeaked and squeaked while she cried and cried. I picked the mouse up by it's soft tail and took it outside. Instead of letting it suffer I poked holes in it with a garden rake. It didn't squeak anymore.

I am not a hero.
I did not transcend the boundaries of my being human.
But I'm a perfect gardener.
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Old 10-13-2007, 09:19 AM   #23
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by biff0016 View Post
When I was 16 I was staying at a girl's house who lived across the street from me. We were awakened by a mouse that had managed to trap itself in a small empty trashcan that was relatively close to the bed. She took a pair of scissors and attempted to make cuts on the little mouse's neck so it wouldn't make noise again. Somehow she inadvertantly cut the mouse's tongue off. It squeaked and squeaked while she cried and cried. I picked the mouse up by it's soft tail and took it outside. Instead of letting it suffer I poked holes in it with a garden rake. It didn't squeak anymore.
One broken body
One ceaseless breath
Into the night
And I am gone

Vestige of pain
Silent squealing
Into the night
And I am free

Singular vibration
Energy inhaled
By the night
For I am still

A feeble mouse
Too tired to fight
I want to let go
Into the night
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:45 PM   #24
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Re: soul’s inventory

godammit.

BUMP.
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Old 10-23-2007, 03:36 AM   #25
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Re: soul’s inventory

and the fanbase just keeps getting bigger...i'm really glad this was bumped...it made me read the rest of your poems...Flow, Luna Canto, Treading Water and Fatal Flaws are the ones i liked the most...and of course A Sad Man...nothing i say can really describe my thoughts and feelings while reading that poem (and some of the others as well)...so i won't even try to do that.

respect shax...you have an amazing talent and an even more amazing spirit.

more of these, please.

Last edited by jasminæ; 10-23-2007 at 03:41 AM..
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:08 PM   #26
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Re: soul’s inventory

I loved this one too. My favorite lines is, "I am the epilogue." It sounds so omnipotent. It's like the character of your poem knows just a little be more than they're letting on. It's really magnificent.
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:38 AM   #27
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasminæ View Post
and the fanbase just keeps getting bigger...i'm really glad this was bumped...it made me read the rest of your poems...Flow, Luna Canto, Treading Water and Fatal Flaws are the ones i liked the most...and of course A Sad Man...nothing i say can really describe my thoughts and feelings while reading that poem (and some of the others as well)...so i won't even try to do that.

respect shax...you have an amazing talent and an even more amazing spirit.

more of these, please.
Thank you jasminæ, your comments mean very much to me :)
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:44 AM   #28
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmarexOfxFerocity View Post
I loved this one too. My favorite lines is, "I am the epilogue." It sounds so omnipotent. It's like the character of your poem knows just a little be more than they're letting on. It's really magnificent.
Yes, I try not to give much away. It can turn out to be quite dangerous.
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Old 10-26-2007, 12:37 AM   #29
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Re: soul’s inventory

my heart beats immensity after reading and I don't mind being that for now, beauty of vision
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Old 10-26-2007, 07:15 AM   #30
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Re: soul’s inventory

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Originally Posted by Wolfman's Imaginary Band View Post
my heart beats immensity after reading and I don't mind being that for now, beauty of vision
I had to read that five times.
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Old 10-26-2007, 09:34 AM   #31
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Re: soul’s inventory

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Originally Posted by Shax View Post
I had to read that five times.
There is a thread in Lateralus explaining that schism is all about tetris and some being is stuck on level 5 and your reading that 5 times is all aligned. Should check it out.
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Old 10-26-2007, 11:46 AM   #32
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Re: soul’s inventory

reading. interesting...
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Old 10-28-2007, 06:43 AM   #33
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Re: soul’s inventory

I sense a dual force within this piece, almost as if you were split in two....yet still a whole being.

I think it's incredible.

I'm going to check out your other work....
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Old 10-28-2007, 07:45 PM   #34
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Re: soul’s inventory

I am emo
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Old 10-28-2007, 07:52 PM   #35
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Re: soul’s inventory

lol
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:41 AM   #36
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfman's Imaginary Band View Post
There is a thread in Lateralus explaining that schism is all about tetris and some being is stuck on level 5 and your reading that 5 times is all aligned. Should check it out.
*checks it out*
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:49 AM   #37
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Re: soul’s inventory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph View Post
I sense a dual force within this piece, almost as if you were split in two....yet still a whole being.

I think it's incredible.

I'm going to check out your other work....
Interesting.

Thank you, Joseph.
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Old 11-29-2007, 09:24 PM   #38
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Re: soul’s inventory

nothin' like reading this baby semi-drunk...
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Old 11-29-2007, 10:02 PM   #39
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Re: soul’s inventory

"i am the hero of the howling wolves"

this is one of the 38 lines that caught my eye

we've been waiting for a hero

I am inspired

*HOWLS*
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Old 11-30-2007, 05:11 AM   #40
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Re: soul’s inventory

*HOWLS*
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