opin.menu.members.jpgopin.menu.forumfaq.jpgopin.menu.search.jpgopin.menu.home.jpgview our wiki

Go Back  The Tool Page: Opinion » Tool » Albums » Ænima » 04. Useful Idiot
User Name
Password
Reply
Old 05-24-2014, 11:57 AM   #1
On Probation
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: in mah dik
Posts: 6
Bincount™: 0
end of the record / new beginnings

Honestly, H. was never a song I could ever get into. I always felt that the lyrical symbolism (snake, blood/heart, storms, etc.) were too... they aren't words I'd use to describ emy own hardships, I guess is what I'm trying to say. And then I fell into a bad place with a recent break up, and YES I KNOW this song probably has something to do with Maynard's personal shit... I know.

But. Suddenly this song just... clicked for me. Part of the reason we cut our relationship short was because she is bipolar, and my natural attitudes can be somewhat negative. Basically, I wasn't really helping her move forward with anything. Half empty, you know? I feel half empty. I feel half empty without her. That venomous voice is my inclination to attack things, to shoot people down. And I know there are parts of myself that simply wants to love people for the amazing things they can be, and that sticks with the line "my blood before me begs me-"

Her feelings for me eventually dissolved, and left me too connected to her. And in order for us both to survive such a suffocating relationship she had to do what she did. Considerately killing me.

I listened to H. the other night and I cried my fucking eyes out. I went through the whole "my life is ending" routine that I do. And it ended on that chord, and that was our last memory together. And it felt warm, and I knew that there are experiences to be had, just ahead of me you could say.

I didn't skip useful idiot. Honestly, wasn't really paying much, much attention. But as it got louder I realized, if I were playing this as vinyl, it'd be the end of the record. It's not really skipping, it's just ending. End of the journey. Maybe it's dumb to attribute such a powerful moment to a song thats 40 seconds of record crackle, but it made sense to me. Especially when Forty Six & 2 cuts right into the moment.

And THAT was the moment of change for me. When I realized the end of one life I began with somebody, just like all the other deaths I've felt with so many others like her, signifies the start of another life. Forty Six & 2 is really the song about choices, not H. They sort of go together, at least to me. H. was the separation between us, when it feels like watching something die. It's painful, just utterly painful. Useful Idiot is the last thought that goes through your head before you die. And Forty Six & 2 is the choice you make to let go, and start again right from the beginning. It's like a broken bone that's finally growing back in the way it should've to begin with.
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote
Old 07-19-2014, 01:39 PM   #2
Level 5 - Deep Thinker
 
Esteban Crespo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Esquel, Chubut, Argentina
Posts: 91
Bincount™: 0
Re: end of the record / new beginnings

Although I have different interpretations and feelings about those songs, it's really great to see how music can be so powerful and important in our lives. The way these songs "hit" you, or helped you out of a very difficult situation is something magical. As I said, I have different interpretations, but I can relate to the feeling. The fact that they're so different for you and me proves its power even more.
__________________
Currently undergoing thorough examination of my identity. Suspected Alias. Been already called Crincled, potro234 and Iota.
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote


Reply

Rate This Thread
You have already rated this thread
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Quick Reply
Your Reply:
Forum Jump

all posts © their respective authors. the tool page is not responsible for any of their thoughts, brilliant or otherwise.