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Old 05-07-2003, 08:08 AM   #1
Level 4 - Thinker
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Canada
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"Girl at the Show"

this is what i wished for
when we met it couldn't have been more perfect
even if i had the words to describe
i doubt you would understand me
cause i have all these feelings
that might be made up
but oh, i hope they're not
you're so perfect its almost scary
and i wonder why you see something in me
this is a tribute to the girl at the show
the one i held and she let me know
i'm not just a fuck-up
i'm not just a boy
lost in his own insecure demise
you've brought meaning to my life
somehow even though this is all so new
i guess you've made me beleive
in love at first sight
the sight was your smile
and how you looked so happy
just to be there with me
singing along with every note
as the band played on
we held each other, hoping it wouldn't end
but it did
and that night i dreamed
of you and the vivid memory i have
it still surfaces
its still so real to me
but is it to you?
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Old 05-07-2003, 11:04 AM   #2
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I'm in love too, and I gotta say this hits all the right notes.
Nicely done. I liked the rhythm you had when you let yourself rhyme.
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Old 05-07-2003, 04:18 PM   #3
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hey that was a very pleasent poem. when i saw it i was like, oh great, tool page poetry; but, unlike others i've seen, you havent resorted to whiny teen angst and flippant use of quotes from tool songs.

kong rats
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Old 05-09-2003, 07:55 AM   #4
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Location: Canada
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thanks alot for your comments, i really appreciate them. i'll be posting more poetry from time to time, i'd like to know what you think...thanks again
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