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Old 06-10-2003, 08:30 AM   #1
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holy stinkfist, batman!

sometimes, when i get down on myself, i like to sit back with some type of uncontrollable controlled substance and throw some tool in the ol' 8 track. but something happened: the band used to be all about love and happiness and peppermint sno-cones and utopian escapades with virgins and dragons and elves...now they seem to have suffered a kierkegaardian crisis: theyve taken to blaspheming gods greatness!
why would you want to challenge the divinity of the lord?!? he came to us when the false god radio was at his strongest, only to seize power and slowly convert the world to his holiest of holy cyclopean guises: television!
yes, thank you jesus...you died so that we may not suffer eternal death, or something like that. john foretold of your return, and you came back to us, early in the 20th century, in a euclidean ark of mystery, garbed in circuits and vacuum tubes and knobs and chords: television...
now those godless pagans "tool" (an obvious reference to cock, or the swollen purple people eater, or mini-me, as it were) have decided to challenge the divinity of television? stinkfist??? sure, i will have another! double fist me in the asshole, just so long as i dont miss the lords entertainment: "friends!" what tool fails to realize is that because god has decided to incarnate in the form of television, he is trying to communicate to us that he is not feeling too good these days...in fact, he's a bit schizophrenic! think about it: on one channel, you have the lakers losing on a robert horry brick (sure sign of the impending armageddon), then on another channel you have porn, then on another channel there is the evening news, then on another channel there is porn, then on another channel there is a live invasion of another country, then there's more porn, then theres a christian garbed in toupee's and fake jewelry begging for money (lest you burn in hell), then theres some porn, then theres pbs (which no one watches), and more porn...etc. etc. god is trying to tell us, god incarnated as the great cyclops, the holy mr. telly, that he is losing his mind! schizophrenia!
what tool is recommending we do is that we watch more television and increase our drug consumption, all while maintaining a healthy diet of pussy and orange julius. take for example, the lyric "hey dipshit, watch more television because god wants you to, something has to change, undeniable dilemna..." isnt the message clear?!?
or the lyric "elbow deep inside the borderline, you should watch more tv cause we belong together" and the big finale "i'll keep digging until i find star trek" obviously the digging is referring to channel changing, that is, navigating gods' brainwaves, until the singer finds the program that he is looking for (i must admit, the star trek is an assumption because he sounds like a nerd to me, and as we all know, star trek is for nerds QED). the message? dont give up! eventually you will find something good on television...holy stinkfist, batman!
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Last edited by joshuacureton; 06-10-2003 at 08:36 AM..
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Old 07-02-2003, 01:23 AM   #2
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=)

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! dude...thats awesome...u r u funny man u r...lol..actually, in all seriousness (i apologize u if u were being serious to begin with) mabey stinkfist really is related to television some how...what with the tv with the static and shit in the video...yeah..lol..again, HOLY STINKFIST BATMAN! ur funny..hehe
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Old 07-08-2003, 12:24 AM   #3
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good shit

fucken freezing in the outside world isn't?, just wait untill they start harrasing you for something new because they will eventually grow tired of that paranoid religion, hey, we're do you think the true catholics recieved their intuitions from to survive in this world......fucken feeble cunts, the first to stab you in the back
(you knew that though)

their is nothing like isolation for a while and confronting some cunt (who of course is thinking of their tv dinner) and pointing out




????????????????????

your will know what to say though, dude

micowave or oven (eventually)
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Old 07-11-2003, 11:01 PM   #4
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Are you sane? Maby tis you who is skitso...hmmm?
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Old 07-29-2013, 06:26 AM   #5
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

What kind of cable package gets you so much porn bundled with the basic package?
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Old 10-04-2014, 08:13 PM   #6
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

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Originally Posted by MasterFuzzSolarWind View Post
What kind of cable package gets you so much porn bundled with the basic package?
Right? Holy fuck.
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Old 10-05-2014, 09:39 AM   #7
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

PC master race for TV needs as well?

also
Quote:
the band used to be all about love and happiness and peppermint sno-cones and utopian escapades with virgins and dragons and elves
when was Tool ever about any of those besides the molesting of said virgins?
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Old 01-20-2019, 09:13 PM   #8
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

Ha God as creator of all things, is infact fistfucking himself while watching tv about fistfucking himself. Humanity best be better off w out God. If everything left everything everything would be much better. What god, god damned human would fistfuckhimself or someone else. Then i ask you, "What is so wrong with two or one humans having the most beautiful moment of Life?" The more we dig, the more dirty we become. Dig on. Neither can considerately matter. The force is g fucked. Both Sith and Jedi are fucked, fistfully. The more we live the more we destroy the saiety of whatever could be considered impure from the get go. If life is about atonement, then it would take a lot of surgery to get those assholes back to tightness.
The decision to make advancement in the Level is often lost. The frailty of the failure humanity and God encompass is well distinguished in this song. The further you go the bigger the asshole gets. The more shit piles up, but its not enough? The ego is a strength that holds those who think weakness is a despairety. Man, Mortal God, Human, any and all else Animal to Apex are imperfect and cannot oppose that right.
Where else you gunna go? Its like a child that renounces his Family because they arent who they were supposed to be. Forgiveness for being burned once can happen, but i dont see it likely. To start it all afire all it takes is a spark. And eventually the way burns down. Hopefully it will, i mean no one knows what im talking about.
The pestulance of a lust to know new things is a terrible way to start the mark of an album about the balances of push and pull behind the being and the bull. (Another many wont get) However YOU do. And throughout the course of effort, everything and more will be , well one can only imagine. God is not one easy person to beat. I mean he knows all your moves all your feelings all your motions. I guess that means he feels your soul. I bet G would understand why you would write a song about "Going Hand first through a dimensional portal of unimaginable pleasures" being number 1 on his now mortal soul. Ha ha if i was God id agree," its not enough, I need more".

I wonder if we could ever predict how the world (universe) ends. I imagine its like guessing when you're going to run into shit while digging your fist up your ass watching TV. Somethings and experiences are for feeling alone. Then best left to start their own fistfuck days. Woe unto those who are as saddened to find out God isnt perfect. Oops!
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Old 01-20-2019, 09:17 PM   #9
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

Best damned start of an album about the psyche ever! LoL
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Old 10-30-2019, 09:30 AM   #10
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Re: dont talk bad about mr. telly!

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Originally Posted by EyE03 View Post
Best damned start of an album about the psyche ever! LoL
hell yea dude
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