For those who don't know, Pitchfork is an extremely influential indie rock e-mag. Keep in mind that another reviewer gave Lateralus a 0/10, so take this with a grain of salt.



Tool
10,000 Days
[Volcano; 2006]
Rating: 5.9

Like most progressive rock and heavy metal-- hell, maybe most popular music in general-- suspension of disbelief is key with Tool. Taken at face value, with their song suites, meat puppet videos, and histrionic singer, they're pretty goofy. People make fun of Tool fans because they assume they take the band seriously-- these spotty, greasy kids with bad shoes and worse hair who already wear an insult on their T-shirts. At 28, I'd feel funny mocking 15-year-olds still finding their place in the world. And as for taking them seriously-- well, I take Tool about as seriously as I do black metal or Lil Jon or the films of Tsui Hark. Which is to say, not very.

A Pitchfork-friendly analogy: Tool are the Radiohead of nü-metal. Both bands predate scenes they later became avatars for; both were more creative and inspirational than their followers; both were incredibly pretentious; and both still managed to sell an ass-load of records. Tool didn't release an album between 1996 and 2001. They missed nü-metal's entire rise and fall, an era of whiteboy dreads, bonsai facial hair, funk bass poppin', and constipated balladry. And much like Radiohead when they dropped the Kid A/Amnesiac doubleshot, Tool released Lateralus early in this decade to radio silence and huge numbers.

Like a mall-friendly King Crimson, Lateralus had a starless and bible black sound that actually rocked rather than wittering on, converting complex, mathematic passages into visceral rock. Also like King Crimson, the lyrics were mostly histrionic garbage, but goddamn did that rhythm section pummel the shit out of its instruments. As with the Mars Volta's debut, the drums were the lead voice on Lateralus, and Danny Carey was his instrument's Minnie Ripperton.

Five years later, Tool return with 10,000 Days. But rather than delving further into experimentation or exploring their strengths, Tool have made an...A Perfect Circle record. Like singer Maynard James Keenan's side project, 10,000 Days is considerably less punishing and much more ethereal. Songs like "Lost Keys" and "Vigniti Tires" are dark ambient soundscrapes that just make you wonder where the drums went. And when they are there, they're decidedly less brutal than on Lateralus. On "Right in Two" they sound more like bongos. The title track features sitar and tabla. Listening to this album, you get the sinking feeling that Tool have made an art-rock, rather than art-metal, album. And yes, the difference is considerable.

Keenan vocals are no less powerful here, but your appreciation of his style still depends largely on your feelings towards quasi-operatic hard rock (you know, like emo, except they actually hit the notes they're going for). People who enjoy voices that sound like they're singing into their overcoats to ward off a night chill will probably find it embarrassing. (The white dude version of melisma?) The lyrics-- the usual mix of drug references, conspiracy theories, tortured declarations of vague emotional trauma, and general doom-mongering-- won't do much to convince non-believers. And with most songs stretching from the seven- to 12-minute range-- and without the stop-start whiplash that was the previous albums' definition of rhythm-- it's unlikely that most listeners will possess the patience or fortitude to make the pilgrimage more than a couple of times.

10,000 Days is supposedly named for the amount of time between Keenan's mother becoming paralyzed and when she died, so it's sort of a "Death Disco" for suburban teenage potheads. If only the music had one-tenth of the Public Image Limited song's power. Instead I find myself in the awkward position of trying to sell you on the merits of a deeply uncool band by telling you to go buy their last album instead. But hey, the next time you're sneering at someone in a Tool shirt, just remember how retarded you look walking down the street with the words "The Boy Least Likely To" or "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah" across your chest.

-Jess Harvell, May 2, 2006

check the professional album review thread.

Yeah, because the opinions of professional reviewers determine what I buy.

*I'ma gonna go slit my wrists now*

It has begun.

Yes, it has. Glad to contribute. *waits for pre-order to arrive*

pitchfork, more like bitchfork. i hate that site, anything that has somekind of success is something they hate. just like my communist friend. im serious too, i have a communist friend that wont listen to any band on a real record label.

That's fucking bullshit. I'd like to shove that review up his ass..........fucking fool.


Naw, I'm just kidding.

It's just his opinion, I don't give a shit what he thinks.

before anyone starts complaining, remember this is the same website that gave lateralus a 1.9. so don't take their reviews to heart... they're all of bunch of annoying english-degree pretentious language pussies who write them.

I only just think that a reviewer should learn how to write. Like the phrase: "mathematic passages"--not really that great.

And then it goes downhill from there: "(you know, like emo, except they actually hit the notes they're going for)."

Um. Even if this is not metal--which I don't believe it is--it's not fucking emo.

Great review.................................for me to poop on.

To each their own...and I am sure this person wants to go back to listening to her Rob Thomas album; who am I to stop her.

I think it should have been more harsh. It was a pretty NICE review by Pitchfork standards.

That's what they get for letting a woman review it.

an even worse review than this one: http://pitchforkmedia.com/record-rev...ateralus.shtml

I have never once agreed with a Pitchfork review, and myself and everyone I know who reads them consider them artsy elitist pricks who try to pose as everyday you-and-me's and bash to hell anyone THEY consider to be elitist pricks.

Even when they give a positive review for a band I like, I never agree with the angle they took to arrive at their conclusion. Plus, all to often they discuss the music so little and focus more on the culture surrounding the band or what they EXPECTED to hear from the band.

I always consider listener reviews before "professional" reviews. Or reviews from newspaper critics. They often are more in tune than these magazine/web guys with huge heads.

My 2 cents.

I think M'ope should work for Pitchfork.

Start the petition. I'll sign it.

I think this review is a hoax.

my only complaint right now is maynard doesnt sound like hes singing for Tool on this album, he sounds like he does in APC. its not that bad, but i expected the vocals to be angrier and more like the other Tool albums. This album is a lot different from anything else i have ever heard from Tool.

Tool
10,000 Days
[Volcano; 2006]
Rating: 5.9

Like most progressive rock and heavy metal-- hell, maybe most popular music in general-- suspension of disbelief is key with Tool. Taken at face value, with their song suites, meat puppet videos, and histrionic singer, they're pretty goofy. People make fun of Tool fans because they assume they take the band seriously-- these spotty, greasy kids with bad shoes and worse hair who already wear an insult on their T-shirts. At 28, I'd feel funny mocking 15-year-olds still finding their place in the world. And as for taking them seriously-- well, I take Tool about as seriously as I do black metal or Lil Jon or the films of Tsui Hark. Which is to say, not very.

A Pitchfork-friendly analogy: Tool are the Radiohead of nü-metal. Both bands predate scenes they later became avatars for; both were more creative and inspirational than their followers; both were incredibly pretentious; and both still managed to sell an ass-load of records. Tool didn't release an album between 1996 and 2001. They missed nü-metal's entire rise and fall, an era of whiteboy dreads, bonsai facial hair, funk bass poppin', and constipated balladry. And much like Radiohead when they dropped the Kid A/Amnesiac doubleshot, Tool released Lateralus early in this decade to radio silence and huge numbers.

Like a mall-friendly King Crimson, Lateralus had a starless and bible black sound that actually rocked rather than wittering on, converting complex, mathematic passages into visceral rock. Also like King Crimson, the lyrics were mostly garbage, but goddamn did that rhythm section pummel the shit out of its instruments. As with the Mars Volta's debut, the drums were the lead voice on Lateralus, and Danny Carey was his instrument's Minnie Ripperton.

Five years later, Tool return with 10,000 Days. But rather than delving further into experimentation or exploring their strengths, Tool have made an...A Perfect Circle record. Like singer Maynard James Keenan's side project, 10,000 Days is considerably less punishing and much more ethereal. Songs like "Lost Keys" and "Vigniti Tires" are dark ambient soundscrapes that just make you wonder where the drums went. And when they are there, they're decidedly less brutal than on Lateralus. On "Right in Two" they sound more like bongos. The title track features sitar and tabla. Listening to this album, you get the sinking feeling that Tool have made an art-rock, rather than art-metal, album. And yes, the difference is considerable.

Keenan's vocals are no less powerful here, but your appreciation of his style still depends largely on your feelings towards quasi-operatic hard rock (you know, like emo, except they actually hit the notes they're going for). People who enjoy voices that sound like they're singing into their overcoats to ward off a night chill will probably find it embarrassing. (The white dude version of melisma?) The lyrics-- the usual mix of drug references, conspiracy theories, tortured declarations of vague emotional trauma, and general doom-mongering-- won't do much to convince non-believers. And with most songs stretching from the seven- to 12-minute range-- and without the stop-start whiplash that was the previous albums' definition of rhythm-- it's unlikely that most listeners will possess the patience or fortitude to make the pilgrimage more than a couple of times.

10,000 Days is supposedly named for the amount of time between Keenan's mother becoming paralyzed and when she died, so it's sort of a "Death Disco" for suburban teenage potheads. If only the music had one-tenth of the Public Image Limited song's power. Instead I find myself in the awkward position of trying to sell you on the merits of a deeply uncool band by telling you to go buy their last album instead. But hey, the next time you're sneering at someone in a Tool shirt, just remember how retarded you look walking down the street with the words "The Boy Least Likely To" or "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah" across your chest.

-Jess Harvell, May 2, 2006

Yah. Old now dude, sorry.

oh...

that was such a bad review, and i'm not a huge fan of the album.

but then again, thats pitchfork

That's a review?

He is very right that this new album sounds more ethereal though. That's the best word to describe it. But I disagree it's a perfect circle album just because it contains more subtle vocals then previous records.

Generally a crappy review, that sounds like it was written while taking a dump. It barely mentions songs individually.

For those interested, check out metacritic's collection of reviews of 10,000 Days.

Currently it stands at '61 = generally favourable reviews': http://www.metacritic.com/music/artists/tool/10000days

Pitchfork is the shittiest review site I can readily think of..

They prove me right time and time again..

god I hate pitchfork, its so predictable.
they basically have the ironic wordy kind of saying the album isnt good while saying it doesnt completely suck review.
then the:
"no one has ever heard of this band but the reviewer here, the music sucks but my english degree that got me this job as a waiter gives me alot of big words to use to make it sound good. they band can't play, write or sing but if you look at the band's photo they look like the kind of guys who would be hanging out in an art museum or a coffee house discussing "post moderism". ITS A MASTERPIECE."

If he wrote that review in a school paper e half decent teacher would cross large sections of it out, writing "waffle" over the top.

Stop. That review shouldn't come anywhere near these boards or any website again.

I said it last time, and I'll say again this time;

"Sitar and Tabla on Wings?"

I guess he drank his haterade

Just because you don't agree with this review doesn't mean it's not true. I don't agree with it either, as I love 10k Days--but someone has to say it, might as well be someone I have no respect for, like Pitchfork.

*wipes ass with horribly written review*

i get sneered at? damn, i must have missed it these last 10 years...silly me


seriously though, this guy has self esteem issues if his biggest complaint about the cd is that tool is an uncool band



and lateralus only has a 73 at metacritics....music critics are no better than movie critics imo...if i see a movie that looks interesting and has a bunch of low reviews, im gonna go check it out...cause chances are, its a damn good movie

the radiohead of nu metal...this person needs to choke himself fast...or
gouge his ears out

check the professional reviews thread.

What a twat.

Like most progressive rock and heavy metal-- hell, maybe most popular music in general-- suspension of disbelief is key with Tool. Taken at face value, with their song suites, meat puppet videos, and histrionic singer, they're pretty goofy. People make fun of Tool fans because they assume they take the band seriously-- these spotty, greasy kids with bad shoes and worse hair who already wear an insult on their T-shirts. At 28, I'd feel funny mocking 15-year-olds still finding their place in the world. And as for taking them seriously-- well, I take Tool about as seriously as I do black metal or Lil Jon or the films of Tsui Hark. Which is to say, not very.

A Pitchfork-friendly analogy: Tool are the Radiohead of nü-metal. Both bands predate scenes they later became avatars for; both were more creative and inspirational than their followers; both were incredibly pretentious; and both still managed to sell an ass-load of records. Tool didn't release an album between 1996 and 2001. They missed nü-metal's entire rise and fall, an era of whiteboy dreads, bonsai facial hair, funk bass poppin', and constipated balladry. And much like Radiohead when they dropped the Kid A/Amnesiac doubleshot, Tool released Lateralus early in this decade to radio silence and huge numbers.

Like a mall-friendly King Crimson, Lateralus had a starless and bible black sound that actually rocked rather than wittering on, converting complex, mathematic passages into visceral rock. Also like King Crimson, the lyrics were mostly garbage, but goddamn did that rhythm section pummel the shit out of its instruments. As with the Mars Volta's debut, the drums were the lead voice on Lateralus, and Danny Carey was his instrument's Minnie Ripperton.

Five years later, Tool return with 10,000 Days. But rather than delving further into experimentation or exploring their strengths, Tool have made an...A Perfect Circle record. Like singer Maynard James Keenan's side project, 10,000 Days is considerably less punishing and much more ethereal. Songs like "Lost Keys" and "Vigniti Tires" are dark ambient soundscrapes that just make you wonder where the drums went. And when they are there, they're decidedly less brutal than on Lateralus. On "Right in Two" they sound more like bongos. The title track features sitar and tabla. Listening to this album, you get the sinking feeling that Tool have made an art-rock, rather than art-metal, album. And yes, the difference is considerable.

Keenan's vocals are no less powerful here, but your appreciation of his style still depends largely on your feelings towards quasi-operatic hard rock (you know, like emo, except they actually hit the notes they're going for). People who enjoy voices that sound like they're singing into their overcoats to ward off a night chill will probably find it embarrassing. (The white dude version of melisma?) The lyrics-- the usual mix of drug references, conspiracy theories, tortured declarations of vague emotional trauma, and general doom-mongering-- won't do much to convince non-believers. And with most songs stretching from the seven- to 12-minute range-- and without the stop-start whiplash that was the previous albums' definition of rhythm-- it's unlikely that most listeners will possess the patience or fortitude to make the pilgrimage more than a couple of times.

10,000 Days is supposedly named for the amount of time between Keenan's mother becoming paralyzed and when she died, so it's sort of a "Death Disco" for suburban teenage potheads. If only the music had one-tenth of the Public Image Limited song's power. Instead I find myself in the awkward position of trying to sell you on the merits of a deeply uncool band by telling you to go buy their last album instead. But hey, the next time you're sneering at someone in a Tool shirt, just remember how retarded you look walking down the street with the words "The Boy Least Likely To" or "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah" across your chest.

-Jess Harvell, May 2, 2006

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record...000-days.shtml

Don't take anything Pitchfork says too seriously. They're only going to like "indie" music and stuff that's not popular.
They give certain bands rave reviews, and then the next release they put out considered to be crap. I don't quite understand it. It's just an elitist harbor.

Anyway, I was actually surprised to see a mediocre review on the site: a 5.9 is four whole points higher than Lateralus' 1.9. It still seems they're afraid to give any Tool release a great review, because they don't understand their music. It takes a LONG time to properly absorb a Tool album.

...that person really wasted their time writing that.

It didn't even make much sense.

That review loses all credibility when he can't even give "Lateralus" any good props.

He actually says that Lateralus doesn't have good lyrics...and someone on these forums took the review seriously enough to post it here...