"A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old."
he could be board because he has to be good to move on and he is scared of messing up "is this a test it has to be" 44+2 could be considered a test because 44 & 2 is a stepping-stone; a disharmonic state that must be passed through in order to reach 46 & 2...there is a "test" or disharmonic state to get to each state of happy ness so 44+2 is a test to 46+2 just like 48+2 will be to 50+2
if it is not he cant go on being good because it is draining his energy....the vampire can be a metaphor for his Umbra (monster within) he could be paranoid that it will come out...it is "paralyzed" he has it under control but it is getting old and sick of holding it back
"But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here."
he is still here through the pain and trouble keeping faith that there is something after this
"If there were no rewards to reap,"
46+2 is the reward In the third phase, 46 & 2, or Christ-Consciousness, unity consciousness is regained. In addition, whatever is imagined instantly becomes a reality; such is the way of fourth dimensional life. Here on the second level, in the third dimension, there is a definite time delay between a thought and its real-world effects. 48 & 2..
"No loving embrace to see me through"
if you know merkaba you have to have love in you or you cant go one
"This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out."
the if there wasnt something good to come of all the boardom he would have walked away but he is gonna wait it out
"If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now."
if he didnt have the disire to fix the damages and troubles and bad things that have come along the way he woulda gave up
and the rest is perety much explanitory
__________________ "hang in there live life you are bound to move on to the next level some day"
"why fear death you have done it so many times before?"
