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Old 06-02-2006, 12:30 PM   #1
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"Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
"Hatred" ver.1
Overflowing water
A hue of the deepest shade of red
spilling out of you
(seeping into me)




"Hatred" ver. 2
a display of the most ventrical revenge
it was such an honor
to kill something
as impure as you seem to be.
defiled the innocence
of the young
still you pray (prey).
shouldn't you realize

Your God has no authority here
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:02 PM   #2
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
The strange dark purpose anger and hatred have in our lives seems to far outweigh the good things we should strive to find. Enjoyed this, reminds me of some of the stuff I write, but never share. Ventrical revenge? Sounds like a band name....
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:44 PM   #3
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
Reminds me of the cover of a Distillers album I own. Its pretty good , I like the second part better. But , what do I know? Keep it up.
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Old 06-02-2006, 02:26 PM   #4
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
I like this. It seems personal and needing revenge for some crime...way to convey!
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Old 06-02-2006, 02:44 PM   #5
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
short, bitter, and implying the point
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Old 06-04-2006, 02:33 PM   #6
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
Thank you all.
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Old 06-04-2006, 02:49 PM   #7
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
this is cool, its hard to write something angry and not make it over the top....just the right mix
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Old 06-04-2006, 03:24 PM   #8
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
Quote:
Originally Posted by jack_without_sally
this is cool, its hard to write something angry and not make it over the top....just the right mix
Thank you.
When I wrote it, I wanted to make any angry(ness) sound calculated and intelligent, not just flat out ... Staind-like :|
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Old 06-04-2006, 05:07 PM   #9
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
Enjoyable read. It's one thing to be able to write quality pieces, but another to want to express them. In my opinion, with feelings like these, that is half the battle. Well done
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Old 06-04-2006, 07:03 PM   #10
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Re: "Hatred" ver.1 and ver.2
Thank you.
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