I predict they string along fans for another decade and then announce their retirement, leaving despondent fanboy's to cling onto 10k days as their last offering. But don't despair, there will be another dozen mini-tours where you can bob your head to stinkfist and schism.

I just realized that Tool announced their new album on my 10 year tdn anniversary.

/releases balloons and streamers

The yellow pages directory booklet sits on my porch w/out, or sans, the new CD. Okay, I didn't really look, I just kicked at the YPDB in disgust.

maynard's official statement on the "decem" album title/tracklist "leak": https://twitter.com/mjkeenan/status/754454828428824576

He's bluffing!

I've already heard the album, it's a actually 3 disks comprising 16 songs plus blu-ray of a puscifer show and some winemaking tutorials

Fine. CDs and the YPDB are pretty much obsolete anyways. Let me clarify my point.

'Decem' or not, I hope it shakes up the masses if it ever comes out
Instead of another fake album name ruse, masquerade it as the next pokamon go app.
That'll fly off the shelves.

I hope we'd all be the last one's to hear it. Right Gonzo?

Whatever happened to Teleincision

yes

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/enterta...m-hoax-8986549

"Elusive Tool front-man Maynard James Keenen privately lambastes fans who once considered their 2006 LP, 10,000 Days to be a hoax. "We'll show them a hoax", boasted Maynard, in reference to the new album which has been supposedly in the works but will never see the light of day."

Check that article. Would be hilarious if it's true. Stringing fans along as a big fuck you for calling the record about his mom a hoax, and a way to make money on upcoming tours. Pretty immature way of handling it, but funny nonetheless. Wouldn't a better way to get back at fans be to make a really good album?

EDIT: Whoa, they took the article down. I quoted the meat of it up there. There was no source listed as apparently it was overheard by someone who didn't want to be named.

THIS'LL SHOW EM

*releases lateralus pt 2*

i hadnt even been a big enough fan before 2006 to call anything a hoax. i was 13 and still listening to Linkin Park.

Definitely funny. Slightly immature. Potentially justifiable. I'm gonna roll with it for this post...

I don't know if what I'm about to say is a direct response to anything, but rather a general reaction to the whole "Decem" troll and it sort of plays into this article you found. I'll probably catch some flak for this but... eh, I'm tired of thinking all of this and not saying it. There is a particular brand of Tool fan (we all know them) that I'd say makes up the majority of Tool fans that really would deserve everything but a new Tool album.

One moment they're die hard fans professing their love for the golden age of Tool, the albums, the associated mysticism, occultism, pretentious silliness, the associated artists (hicks, zar, grey, etc) and it's profound impact on their spiritual/intellectual/existential journey. Then the next they're shitting on Adam for his guitar playing and redundant themes both visually and sonically, tired of hearing about Danny playing monday night jamz at the baked potato, Blair's newsletters, - Justin, not much complaining about him, but let's face it, no one seemed to care for M.T. Void.... but then of course there's Maynard. The reasons fans give him shit go without saying.

I think it's only fair to look at the track record here. Ever since APC released Emotive (12 fucking years ago), the fans following Tool and Maynard have only increased their level of bitchiness, year after year. It bleeds into the formation of Puscifer as we know it today, maynard's wine business, 10000 Days, and now this extended period of seemingly endless writing and arranging of a new album... all the while touring with only bits and pieces of anything new.

With social media what it is today and Tool very much present in this scene only means the band must hear/read/see this trend of bitchiness loud and clear. So again, as much as Tool fans profess their passion for previous work, they clearly demonstrate that their art has made zero impact on them as an individual by lashing out at the band and exhibiting behaviors their art has clearly been against.

How insanely disappointing that must be for them, right? To know they had their platform, their influence, they made all the right moves and pushed their art in the most dignified way possible without being overly dogmatic... and I mean, let's be real ...around the Lateralus tour, this band was clearly trying to make a deep, resonating impact on their fans in a way that (they hoped!) would have a positive effect on the world.

While some criticism is justifiable, the extent of it with regard to the next string of events certainly edged more and more into the realm of irrational. Emotive (wtf, covers? politics? fuck off); Wine (wtf is this snobby shit?); Puscifer (wtf is this garbage? rap? country? comedy?), 10kdays (wtf IN GENERAL it seems), it's tour (wtf maynard can't sing? this fucking setlist again?), Vicarious (where the fuck is the video? this is it? this commentary is shit), No video for The Pot (WTF), No live DVD (WTF), Touring without a new album (WTF). Fucking blankets? Pillows? In retrospect, maybe a not-so-subtle hint that the band is being laid to rest?

My point is I feel like there is a distinct level of delusion amongst this sect of fans. I feel like that's evidenced by them getting intensely excited about this "Decem leak", but then discounting Maynard bluntly revealing it's merit. They'll say it's just him fucking with the fans again, and yet his track record shows he's easily the most honest, straight-forward and realistic when it comes to ANY real news about the album (or lack thereof). They'll draw on Teleincision; the one and only time the band released a fake name and tracklist for an upcoming album.... in the heyday of Napster... as a reason to believe this leak might be hinting at something real. It's foolish.

The fans have blamed everyone but themselves for the lack of output from this band. So yeah, I don't think it's the case ... but it would be funny if this was all an elaborate troll. At which point, they got me when the blankets came out and if this is a world where you get what you deserve, then no one is getting a new tool album.

well said, eE

I'd have a lot more respect for them if true.

I say that we have Quantum write the band an apology, speaking for all of us.

yes.

Latest newsletter with Danny quoted as saying another song is finished and sent to Maynard. So the music isn't done but lyrics have begun being written is what I take from this now in retrospect.

Inching closer?

Please allow us to proofread the partial nudity part.

Parts.

Let us see your parts, is what I meant.

There's another step beyond your current level of tool fandom, and that is to realize that none of this needs to be said. It has been said over and over.

As of late, I beg to differ.

Depends what you beg for in my experience.

I don't want to bother the bin with too much serious tool talk... So I'll ask it here; What do you think, Dan? Do you think that a large portion of the vocal tool fan community having a publicly maligned opinion of the band can in no way do harm to the motivation of it's constituent members?

At least, I think that's more-or-less what I was getting at with my post... And again, I wasn't whole-heartily agreeing with that. I just feel it's possible.

If I ever get bored of my fav music, thats when I trust myself the least. I've got this Tool playlist for falling asleep, and although it doesn't always sound the same to me, (I) know it will never change

Ever heard of something being 'beyond words'? You can know 'of' something that's been said over and over, but for it to really sink in is a whole other story.

It does need to be said. Ain't nothing wrong with eE's post!

Does the band having a shitty opinion of its fans impact its fans, or do we still buy their records and concert tickets? That goes both ways. Tool likes having money, we provide it. Nobody would care about Puscifer or Maynard's wine without Tool and Tool Fans as the springboard, so I don't see online trolls hurting their motivation too much.

The real problems for Tool are: 1) being old, 2) 1-2 of them have freshly bornt babies (right?), 3) being super busy with lots of other shit (except Danny), and 4) being expected to put out another album full of long, complex songs. None of this is easy by itself, but combined I'm sure it makes it hard to get into the Tool headspace necessary for writing and recording...

I think you are probably not giving Tool enough credit if you think they care what online trolls are saying about them.

Definitely.

That's fair. That was certainly what I was doing in rolling with that train of thought.

Maybe Tool got so in their heads about the new album that they can't get their music-cocks hard.

in mexico there is plenty of cialis and people in barrels to get anyone hard for life

Were you high when you wrote this?

You already know the answer.

I want to see Donald Trump be thrown in a Mexican prison, and left there to rot.

ftfy

Of all the new stuff Tool have dabbed with this one is my favorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68C0yx_bXao

in comparison, you're like "c'mon life hardly man, what's with all these Chinese swimmers? What's it 1982? Why are bitches arms so big?"

Danny Carey will be drumming all next week for Seth Meyers house band. I can't stand the guy but now I'll have to watch his show.

you have to. no choice at all.