some good ol' stream of conciousness (aka written in one sitting with no forethought nor any editing) a la Kerouac
Code:
Do not lean against the door
no door-leaning allowed
no
none
The doors will open on their
own, you know
automation is key
Just let them go
on their own
now,
right?
no.
We will tell you when they open
when opportunity knocks, we'll
make sure you're away
A ways away, always
Just let them open
on their own
oh, don't force it
We'll tell you when to open
up
Spill your artificial, industrial
guts
before a crowd of your uninterested
"peers"
"My name is John Pulowski
and, and, well...
I've been a tool for five months now
nine months now
my whole life, now
my whole death now
a fading silver screen
The screen door you can open yourself
but
don't lean
,
machine
Code:
Hey, you never know
one day you could wake up
31 million bucks
a fool man, none the richer
Hey, you know
six pence could do
me some good right now
what with what this world's
taken from me
I'm about due
Hey, you never know
one day you could wake up
with a massive headache, depression,
fear, hatred, jealousy, broken morale,
broken morals and, more than all
that, no sense of direction
oh, and did I mention the
back pain and HUNGER?
And hey!
You never know
This whole crazy mixed-up
shook-up shebang world may
turn out alright
one day you could wake up
with another cool 31 million bucks
in your pockets
well
20 after taxes
15 after the bank
and
13 after your friends get through with
the whole "hey mr. bigshot, throw me
a bone" routine
7 after college, school and support for those
2.8 kids who end up dry and alone anyway
and then a big ol'
0 after your greedy ass blows it on wasted
feelings and cheep thrills, but hey...
you never know.
__________________ give me a place to stand and i will move the earth
I really like the second one. Then ending stanza is my favorite part of it because it comes across to me as a "sarcastic stfu" type of attitude in a simple couple sentences that are subtly saying that. If that makes sense. It reminds me of the poem "America for Sale" in it's way of slapping those who think they are "the shit" and would throw their lives away for millions just to wind back in the gutter.
__________________ When the system crashes who will reconstruct it, will you sit and watch your demise be built infront of you?
Your originality is something that shouldn't be tampered with. Make sure you keep this steady pace going, create more for us to read it's very enjoyable.
Nice. Very unique. I like the first one the best. It's a hard style to pull off without sounding interrupted, but you did it very well. Reminds me a bit of e.e. cummings.
__________________ I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way.
