I have admitted to myself the issues at hand. My life is a mess right now and I am going to tackle my issues one issue at a time. One day at a time. I am not faking it this time. This is my life, and I want to be in control of it. I am not doing this for anyone else. I am doing it first and foremost for myself.
I have a wife and daughter who I care about immensely. So, what I do affects them. I have been attending AA meetings for three weeks now, and I believe in what they have to offer. I trust in the structure that was created by the author (Bill W) of The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). I see the people who attend the meetings and how it has changed their life. I had never given it a chance in the past. That was then, this is now.
I have come to the realization that I need to change, in order to obtain and eventually continue to a have happy life. This is not bullshit. This is real. This is my life. I have gone on long enough living the way I did. The way I lived stops now. The future is wide open. In attending these AA meetings, I have learned a lot about myself. I listen to everyone there and what they have to say. I trust in the people there and I am surrendering myself to my higher power.
After observing all of the individuals at these meetings, I had taken a liking to this guy and what he had to say. I was nervous at first to approach him and inquire about him potentially being my sponsor. So after the meeting I was talking with this guy and ask him to be my sponsor. I really trust him and look forward to learning from him.
He drove me home after the meeting and we sat and talked in his car for an hour and a half. I told him a little bit about how I had gotten to this point and that I want to change and maintain a sober life for the rest of my existence here on this beautiful planet. For the first time in my life I am 100% ready to become the individual that I was meant to be.
I really look forward to learning from my sponsor and working the steps of the program. I am going to approach my issue one by one and take care of them the proper way in order to resolve these deep problems. I believe in myself and I have a lot of inner strength. I'm going to use this Inner Strength to propel myself along into a healthy lifestyle and a mentally healthy existence.
I am putting this here as a journal of documentation to go back and refer to when needed. I really appreciate this life and the chances that I have been given. I appreciate the world around me. I live in such a beautiful place being on the ocean surrounded by millions of trees and variety of animals and beautiful mammals.
On Sunday I will have 30 days of sobriety. But I can't look too far forward, I have to do it one day at a time. I love my family and friends and I love all of the support that I have. I have the most beautiful daughter in the world. I feel so blessed to have this baby girl.
I am approaching this head on. I am doing a 180 with my thinking and how I go about my everyday activities and lifestyle. I have so many dreams and goals that I want to accomplish. This is my first step. This is my path that I will walk on. I am going to maintain a positive outlook and create a positive lifestyle for myself. I am willing to do anything that I have to do in order to achieve the dreams and goals that I have set for myself.
"I'm Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically.
I'll ride the wave where it takes me."
I love me, and I love you!
I love everything that this Universe has to offer.
We are all truly blessed to be here and to be experiencing the wonders of what life has to offer.
❤
__________________
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlights begin
It's all a mystery