lotus.

How do you write so many thoughts into words? What drives your inspiration to continue on?

It’s the love in my soul, it’s the determination in my spirit. Feelings of dragonflies of desire swarm my heart. Emotions of butterflies kiss my lips daily. Sometimes something in my mind freezes up from time to time. I went years without attempting to write something specifically special. That is until she left. I spent months self loathing and self medicating. I scramble jagged, jumbled words of grasping desperation if I write on drugs, it just doesn’t work. F drugs!! AA saved my life!! I connect with the humble and sincere people of our community and on here.

I will continue to learn from my selfish past. I am in recovery, and I take it very seriously. I’ve tried to move on from my person, it’s just not happening. I need you and only you!! I crave your love to come swimming back into my life. You are constantly on my mind. When I dream of you we are together and happy again.

I use my writing to document my every feeling, I etch my emotions in hundreds of notes that percolate on my phone. I hold on to hope and this hope overflows like raging waterfalls that will flow for a megaannum. My eternal love for you fuels these descriptions of needful desire.

I’m here in complete vulnerability. I offer my honesty, no matter how shameful or embarrassing it is. I’ve abandoned dozens and dozens of past accounts here because of being embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t want to do that anymore. This account shall continually tell my tale, our cryptic correspondence.

I have no idea which account is you. I will proceed to dance other person’s poetry as if I am conversing with you. I will pursue infinite inspiration that wanders around here in the compassionate collective of letters and poetry. I will continue to strive to shine my brilliant light onto you and others around here. Spreading love and occasional laughter fills my day with joy.

I miss you more than my woven words can conjure. You are the person who I want to spend an eternity with. This is my spiritual awakening journey. I feel grateful for the connections that I have made along the way. I will continue to create meaningful pieces of precious expression as I am guided down the golden path. May my humble reasoning pour into your cup daily.

I love you my dear and I hope that your journey is going absolutely awesome.

__________________

I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlights begin
It's all a mystery