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Old 04-07-2007, 02:53 PM   #1
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A Sad Man

I am an empty well
if I were ever a well at all
dark
cracked soil
filled with pale echos and listless coins
wishes cast into my void

I am forgotten
built of dry earth
and distant glory
if ever there were glory at all

Your parched lips will find no answer
move away and let me be
for I am empty
dark
and full of nothing
but myself



I am an abandoned dream
if ever I were a dream at all
light
serene suffusion
born to entice sybaritic slumber
truly an awakening in disguise

I am remembered
during moments of inebriation
and ecstasy
if ever there were ecstasy at all

Your desires will find no fulfillment
let go and forget about me
for I am blinding
light
and full of everything
but myself

Last edited by Shax; 04-08-2007 at 01:47 AM..
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:13 PM   #2
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Re: A Sad Man

Hmmm, I might have thrown a coin or two down there. I like it.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:30 PM   #3
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Re: A Sad Man

wow.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:48 PM   #4
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Re: A Sad Man

I'm digging this 100%.
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:26 AM   #5
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Re: A Sad Man

One of the best I've seen on here. Great job. I'd like to see more from you.
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Old 04-08-2007, 02:17 PM   #6
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Re: A Sad Man

This is poetry,
if ever there were poetry at all.
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Old 04-09-2007, 07:07 AM   #7
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Re: A Sad Man

Thank you. All of your positive comments are very much appreciated.
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Old 04-09-2007, 10:02 PM   #8
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Re: A Sad Man

Knife me in hobbling I'm the one talking in my sleep again.....
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Old 05-31-2007, 04:43 AM   #9
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Re: A Sad Man

i thought this was a really powerful piece. your style and structure are exceptional. i would love an opinion of someone like you on the couple of threads i have made.
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:54 AM   #10
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by maddox7777 View Post
i thought this was a really powerful piece. your style and structure are exceptional. i would love an opinion of someone like you on the couple of threads i have made.
Thank you, from the both of us.

I believe I have already posted in one of your threads, but you don't appear to visit TDN much. That's a shame. I enjoy being immersed in new thoughts and perspectives. If you are reading this, then I encourage you to return and post more of your work.
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Old 06-14-2007, 09:03 AM   #11
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Re: A Sad Man

I liked this...I also read it at a time when I was feeling pretty damn sad myself, so it had a bit of an extra impact. I dig your style.
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Old 06-14-2007, 09:46 AM   #12
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Re: A Sad Man

I literally read this every time it's bumped and my initial statement could not be more true.

*pats shax on the back*
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Old 06-14-2007, 11:19 AM   #13
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Re: A Sad Man

I'm inspired to make a wishing well for a secondary source of income.


but where...
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:38 AM   #14
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Re: A Sad Man

Very nice work.
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Old 06-28-2007, 09:03 AM   #15
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyraje View Post
I liked this...I also read it at a time when I was feeling pretty damn sad myself, so it had a bit of an extra impact. I dig your style.
It's very satisfying to know that it spoke to someone else. Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by biff0016 View Post
I literally read this every time it's bumped and my initial statement could not be more true.

*pats shax on the back*
Thanks Biff. The pat really should go to my muse though. But watch out, he has a slight problem of excessive hair growth on his back. It can scare some people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LabRat404 View Post
I'm inspired to make a wishing well for a secondary source of income.

but where...
Anywhere. Just be sure to place this sign somewhere clearly visable.

"Be careful what you wish for. The owners accept no responsibilty for loss of property, loss of limbs, loss of life, loss of teeth, loss of libido or any loss in general. We do however appreciate substantial donations if your wish should result in financial gain."


Quote:
Originally Posted by SlippingHalo View Post
Very nice work.
Thank you.
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Old 06-29-2007, 11:41 AM   #16
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Re: A Sad Man

read it once, you subltly see it, read it twice, needle in your arm, can't help but feel it
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Old 09-26-2007, 11:18 AM   #17
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Re: A Sad Man

Found this thanks to your wiki page (gj lotus.) and I'm glad I did.
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:16 AM   #18
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pala View Post
Found this thanks to your wiki page (gj lotus.) and I'm glad I did.
Thank you :)
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Old 09-29-2007, 03:58 AM   #19
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pala View Post
Found this thanks to your wiki page (gj lotus.) and I'm glad I did.
Dito. Fantastic work Shax.
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:41 PM   #20
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by LabRat404 View Post
I'm inspired to make a wishing well for a secondary source of income.


but where...
lol

Great job, Shax. I'm still blown away by soulís inventory, btw.

WOW.

*reads again, both*
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:00 PM   #21
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax View Post

I am forgotten
built of dry earth
and distant glory
if ever there were glory at all
I just love this stanza. I'm not sure what it is, but whenever I read it it makes me head spin and my heart throb. There's just.... something about it. Please, keep writing.
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:48 AM   #22
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
lol

Great job, Shax. I'm still blown away by soulís inventory, btw.

WOW.

*reads again, both*
Thanks iota. Both poems are very personal to me, and it makes me smile when others are able to take something from them as well.
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:49 AM   #23
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmarexOfxFerocity View Post
I just love this stanza. I'm not sure what it is, but whenever I read it it makes me head spin and my heart throb. There's just.... something about it. Please, keep writing.
EASY there Tiger :p
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Old 10-25-2007, 03:16 PM   #24
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Re: A Sad Man

I'm not at a level where I can appreciate stanzas (whatever that is), but I try to take it as a whole.

;)
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Old 10-25-2007, 04:16 PM   #25
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax View Post
EASY there Tiger :p
Sorry, but when I first read it that line just really stood out. I can't help how I feel. ;)
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Old 10-25-2007, 10:33 PM   #26
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Re: A Sad Man

don't listen to Shax. Poor thing can hardly read...
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Old 10-26-2007, 07:21 AM   #27
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmarexOfxFerocity View Post
Sorry, but when I first read it that line just really stood out. I can't help how I feel. ;)
Don't apologize. I had a huge grin on my face when I said "EASY there Tiger".

When it comes to poetry and the effect words can have on one's soul, I don't think anyone can help how they feel.

I know I can't.

EDIT: Take no notice of iota. He doesn't even know what a stanza is...

Last edited by Shax; 10-26-2007 at 07:24 AM..
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Old 10-26-2007, 11:28 AM   #28
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Re: A Sad Man

I have been branded an ignorant
by the know-it-all Shax
Let me end it all now,
with a swift blow of my Ax!

STANZA
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Old 10-27-2007, 08:07 AM   #29
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Re: A Sad Man

He sort of got you there, Shax. And saying easy there tiger is awesome! I use it all the time. :D
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:14 AM   #30
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
I have been branded an ignorant
by the know-it-all Shax
Let me end it all now,
with a swift blow of my Ax!

STANZA
Heads will roll for this, imo.
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:16 AM   #31
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Re: A Sad Man

i know the poem sucks, but...

is that a stanza?
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:18 AM   #32
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightmarexOfxFerocity View Post
He sort of got you there, Shax. And saying easy there tiger is awesome! I use it all the time. :D
He had to resort to google.com, therefore I win and he loses. It's quite pathetic really.

Eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasy Tiger!
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:20 AM   #33
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Re: A Sad Man

no i didn't.
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:26 AM   #34
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
i know the poem sucks, but...

is that a stanza?
Oh Lordy. Did you even read the google results page?
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:27 AM   #35
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Re: A Sad Man

nope.

I ask again, is that a stanza?
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:34 AM   #36
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Re: A Sad Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by iota View Post
nope.

I ask again, is that a stanza?
Strictly speaking, no. It's a poem. If you were to add another verse then each verse would be a stanza.
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:41 AM   #37
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Re: A Sad Man

/cuts
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:51 AM   #38
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Re: A Sad Man

Quit being so emo and write another verse.

Do I lose my head or what?
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:55 AM   #39
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Re: A Sad Man

I'm no good at this
writing verses, you see
...

and that's as far as i get.

:(
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Old 10-30-2007, 05:03 AM   #40
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Re: A Sad Man

isnt a verse same as a stanza? therefore iota wrote a poem with only one stanza.
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