i fray further.
a poignant mixture of choler
and grief.
short circuit to circulation.
you dawn on me
and for the moment
i stand straight.
admission is fixed at
100 per second
so i soak up your membrane
and hope to hit record.
reaction gage.
i pack away my glee.
unfolded for easy access,
and turn to forget the plight -
as in shrinking
as you're striding
away
from this chance.
gage this
this becoming
this overcoming
this strife.
bear in mind
my reaction
my attraction
is resolute.
__________________ What do you expect after this? Applause? Your name on stone?
You will have nothing but me and in a worse way than before -
Dissolving and reforming so quickly I seem only to flicker.
Last edited by SadSummerSea; 04-30-2009 at 06:18 PM..
I really like it. Your syntax is set up wonderfully, not to mention poems like this usually come out a bit contrived, but I think you nailed it. Flow is great.
My only problem with the piece is in America we spell it "Gauge".
agreed, you filled it with great lines such as "short circuit to circulation," "and turn to forget the plight" that added to the overall goodness of it
__________________ "You are, and shall be, set in obsidian obelisk.
Those scars, these memories, will see you through"
