Silently they listened.
Baited breath and open hearts.
Hymnals drawn and
Organ playing as
A light attempts to pierce the dark.
"Have you come to known?"
"He died for you, ya know."
"...exaltment of the throne."
"I entice you to come home."
But I couldn't muster an amen.
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I only like this half Tyro!... Nah, actually the first stanza was a good one for setting up the environment, and you explained it with obvious care. Perhaps you could extend this though, you've described the people fully- this is about the people fully. You could put some symbolism in it and describe the church and compare it to something or whatever.
I think you get what I'm trying to say- Go for the entire picture.
Aside from that, this little poem was written with skill.
