07-23-2009, 01:41 PM
#1
On Probation
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Corpus Christi, TX, Earth
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this is
a touch of blood on the rocks
i can feel the touch of dirty socks
defiling this laboratory i call life
give me the knife it might be better
if we turn out the lights...
love and pain seem to be hand in hand
with god and the devil man to man
give me a chance to be bad
and i'll fail you again and again
peace with touch violence is such
truth a heart only speaks with
the only gift left to give
whatever bill fate has stiffed me with
Last edited by dcastillo; 07-23-2009 at 08:37 PM ..
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07-23-2009, 09:18 PM
#2
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Re: this is
I like it all in all, but the last few lines sort of rambled together, but it may have been intentional.
Kudos
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07-24-2009, 12:46 AM
#3
On Probation
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Corpus Christi, TX, Earth
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Re: this is
that last part is a total stumble of words...my art getting in my way of being grammatically beautiful....whatever bill fate has stiffed me with, thats a shortcut to thinking....
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07-24-2009, 08:36 PM
#4
Level 9 - Obstreperous
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Re: this is
word
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"You are, and shall be, set in obsidian obelisk.
Those scars, these memories, will see you through"
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07-25-2009, 06:02 AM
#5
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Re: this is
Awesome work, castillo. It's been a while since I've seen you on here dude.
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I'm so post-rock I shit sad birds
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07-25-2009, 11:46 AM
#6
On Probation
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Re: this is
thanks k...whats up with you...ive been lost in the desert trying to find my mind...apparently futile enterprises are the textbook to my life
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07-26-2009, 04:46 AM
#7
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Re: this is
I think everybody has their forty years in the wilderness...I'm still going through mine.
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I'm so post-rock I shit sad birds
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07-26-2009, 10:49 AM
#8
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Re: this is
Jew
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"You are, and shall be, set in obsidian obelisk.
Those scars, these memories, will see you through"
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08-04-2009, 08:26 AM
#9
Level 2 - Poster
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Left Coast
Re: this is
?
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08-04-2009, 09:12 AM
#10
Level 9 - Obstreperous
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Posts: 1,311
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Re: this is
Quote:
Originally Posted by
memberzonly
?
lol
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