I found it very hard to write about this subject without coming off cliche or cheesy(which I may or may not have been succesfull at). So, I need an honest opinion on what you like or do not like about these lyrics. Please do not lie because the subject matter is sensitive, I would rather scrap it and start from scratch than do this song badly.
Dusk Gives Breath to the Dawn
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Gone from me
into the open arms of tragedy
So suddenly,
leaving the loved behind, questioning
Where will they go, fleeting dreams of the things known to me,
when the time comes in which leaves fall soft from the trees?
Will my eyes find reprieve in the smile on your face
when Spring brings its answer to Fall?
Will my heart find its peace in your loving embrace
When dusk gives its breath to the dawn?
Cause I won't let the changing take this from me
And when I'm safe in your open arms
Happily, we'll wander the endless roads together
helping eachother bear the weather
Hey Mr. Digit. The music is actually done. It is very sad sounding to me while at the same time being a bit hopeful. In a post-rockish vein. Kinda Sigur Ros'ish. I think the music will do a lot for the lyrics, but like I said, I would rather scrap it and start again than come off cheesy. But its really hard to separate myself from the subject and look at the words objectively.
i find that sometimes our emtions might be cheesy , that's integrity. I realy don't see any cheese though. I know you have seen some of the crap that passes for lyrics these days , you have nothing to fear.
Hey, thanks Tyro. Generally I try to live by the advice you gave. With lyrics I am a bit more tentative and generally unconfident. With these lyrics in particular.......I am finding it impossible to separate myself from them and view them objectively. I just can't do it.
Thanks for the vote of confidence and the good advice.
Hey, thanks Tyro. Generally I try to live by the advice you gave. With lyrics I am a bit more tentative and generally unconfident. With these lyrics in particular.......I am finding it impossible to separate myself from them and view them objectively. I just can't do it.
Heya, it seems to me that people often have hard time expressing positive emotions in their lyrics, worrying about them being cliché and all, whereas clichés that concern negative emotions are thrown around endlessly... as if they were accepted by a common consensus.
Don't worry, if you write something that is true to you and do it straight from your heart, it will be good, even though you can never please everyone of course.
Had I heard these lyrics sung beautifully to sigur rós-ish music, they would have made me content. Upload the song if you can and let us hear it, okay? I'd like to.
Dusk Gives Breath to the Dawn
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Gone from me,
into the open arms of tradgedy.
So suddenly,
leaving us all behind, questioning.
Where do they go,
fleeting dreams of the things known to me?
Don't dreams fold and fade,
being creatures of slumber and sleep?
Will my eyes find reprieve in the smile on your face
when my hour of waking has come?
Will my heart find its peace in your loving embrace
when dusk gives breath to the dawn?
And we'll take it away like we never know.
With our eyes on the day like we never know.
Yeah, we'll take it away like we never know.
Till these dreams fall away like they never were.
P.S. And its not Sigur Ros-ish.....at all. I dont really know what it is.....
I came in here hoping to say I hate it, but I didn't. I thought it was actually quite nice, though it seems to make a better poem than a song -- but you never know till you hear it.
only part I didn't like was the mother, brother, etc part. while it came off to me a bit corney, it wasn't overbearing. it could fit nicely into a song if done properly.