Into black hollow halls
To traverse a civil sea
These etchings in the early earth
With a ceiling
Of clouded infinity
And in this gloomy scape
Amidst the pungent stillness
A solitary streetlight casts
Upon teary parkway paths
The subtle dancing of the light
Sweet corruption,
In the visage of night
Moonlight solitude will sweep
A pretty peace upon the eye
As the road into civilization’s soul
Whispers
And I press into mankind’s blinding sleep
Ok, so judging by your recent flood of posting this poem into other peoples threads, you need feedback. I would have given it to you earlier but;
I read this poem the day you posted it. I read it again the next day. I read it again today and I still can't even begin to grasp what you are talking about. What the hell is a Civil Sea, anyway? If -anything- is in the state of nature, its the sea.
I get a lot of imagery when I read it, but none of them co-exist with each other. Forgive my ignorance, but I don't get it. Explain to me?
Not sure what it means so I'll apply what came to mind when reading it. It comes off as a personal reflection on mankind or 'civilization'. I started to recall one of many nighttime walks above Portland and looking over the sea of lights. and the black river cutting through it. Walking amongst the roses in the Rose Garden and warily watching the raccoon as it scuttles across the dew damp grass.
Our life is forever a mystery. Not 100% as to where we've come from or where we're going. And for me, my midnight walk was somewhat refreshing. A temporary milestone between what was and will be. It was crisp. The majority of the region shrouded in night and sleeping and I get to look at glimpses of it and maybe touch on some deeper or more spiritual moment that eludes me during the waking hours. Absent are the immediate sounds of road traffic. The united breath of the city like a slow exhale.
Then again...it could have been just a nice nightime walk that spurred a poem to capture the peace of the moment. I think I get the most out of those walks.
-MeEp
__________________ "You can bet he can fiddle with the brothers to the power of another day." Buzz
Ok, I edited it a bit, I think it flows nicer now, it might make the meaning more clear too. Thanks for the feedback. Here:
Into dim hollow halls
To traverse a civil sea
These etchings in the early earth
With a ceiling
Of clouded infinity
And in this scape,
Amidst the pungent stillness
Stands that aging lonely lamp
Idle ‘gainst my pressing stroll
As together we guide, the subtle
Dancing of the quiet light
Upon dewed parkway paths
Sweet corruption,
In the visage of night
Through this thicket,
Moonlight solitude will sweep
A pretty peace upon the eye
While the road into civilization’s soul
Whispers
Press away from mankind’s blinded sleep
Last edited by nomanirvana; 03-06-2004 at 12:34 PM..
i am far from the naked eye
yet so close to the third
a dim awakening is before me
will i hear the tainted silence
shall i fall to the ground to listen
no, for this is my place
a palace of vapored cotton in the sky
from here i own a view of heaven
i am far from the naked eye
yet so close to the third
a dim awakening is before me
will i hear the tainted silence
shall i fall to the ground to listen
no, for this is my place
a palace of vapored cotton in the sky
from here i own a view of heaven
Ok, so judging by your recent flood of posting this poem into other peoples threads, you need feedback. I would have given it to you earlier but;
I read this poem the day you posted it. I read it again the next day. I read it again today and I still can't even begin to grasp what you are talking about. What the hell is a Civil Sea, anyway? If -anything- is in the state of nature, its the sea.
I get a lot of imagery when I read it, but none of them co-exist with each other. Forgive my ignorance, but I don't get it. Explain to me?
Wow, quit being such a n00b SSS. Haha, just kidding. If someone was to take a specific moment, or action, and describe that moment (poetically) in great detail without literally coming out and saying what it is, it would probably not make any sense at first, or maybe not at all. Tant was able to come up with a scenario that fits the poem perfectly. That's what I get too, a night-time walk.
Quote:
With a ceiling
Of clouded infinity
Night perhaps?
Quote:
Dancing of the quiet light
Upon dewed parkway paths
Sweet corruption,
In the visage of night
Maybe you're saying here that you think the light of the street lamps corrupts the darkness of night? Or maybe it's not a bad thing, but just an observation.
Quote:
Press away from mankind’s blinded sleep
Maybe you're talking about how you feel alive or awake when everyone else is asleep?
