I've never posted in this forum before, and i dont even know what to expect in terms of reception. this stuff i wrote on 2/27/08, mainly just from reading nietzche quotes and watching the sunset on campus. i used to write a while ago but this stuff is different and i have no idea how others will see it but its just what was in my mind at the time and i just wrote it down. anyways here it is...
"*!"
The cry is still indiscernable to me
What says more than the blink of an eye
I know it is my life
Narrarated in my voice.
But if I cant understand it
How will they?
They never used to see me
and subconsciously hear my cry.
Now they see, but dont recognize the sound.
I don't expect them to yet
I think I must understand it myself
But maybe I am wrong.
Perhaps they have to tell me what I say
in that subconscious primordial scream.
If that is true, then she is my salvation.
"Horizon's Sun"
Every moment is recollected
in the divinity of the day
The day is the memory and the world the detail
Everything occurs again
whether we recognize it or not
Upon the infinite recollections
a tear forms and i want to forget
so i can experience this epiphany again.
I dont know why i feel this way, is it a burden?
What is the plan?
Why is it truth?
Is it my Death?
My death because i fear that i will not die?
My death because it is so painful yet so wonderful?
I dont know how to make another comparison.
"The sun on the horizon holds so much beauty that is must be death."
Why do i write though?
What is the point?
Am i not content with my thoughts?
Do i wish others to, and expect them to understand?
I dont know if that person exists.
But if she does it will be surgery with no anesthesia and no escape.
The pain will overtake me.
Will i be blinded of the sun then?
Perhaps that is why.
Maybe i write in attempt to prepare for that pain
and plan for my escape into the horizon's sun.
I think that these 2 pieces are relatively personal. Being so personal, though, automatically excludes the reader - try to make it more universal, more applicable to anyone who reads the words. The second one has potential, in that you could describe this "horizon's sun" in such a way that your feelings are captured and the reader is left with some sort of imagery in mind. This imagery, in turn, might produce similar feelings to yours. The glory of this is that it may produce feelings far different from yours.
The first piece, I think, is far too esoteric and steeped in your feelings to meaningfully capture a reader. Yes, they may see tidbits of imagery, or a smattering of words that appeal to them, but that alone does not build a poem.
I think the beauty of these pieces is that they are so personal. Because I can't get right to the point of what you're saying, I'm forced to apply my own experiences to the words you are using. The process of that exchange is intriguing and very songlike.
Okay, let me be more specific then. There are poems filled with deep emotion and personal thoughts and then there are writings that express someone's personal feelings. These are not the same. Poetry is more than just expressing one's emotions and deeper feelings. It is a medium for the counter-intuitive, for the non-cliched expression of thought and a microcosm for re-examining the universe.
Don't get me wrong:
"I feel like shit-I'm sorry to say
Do you fuckin' think I like feeling this way
I feel like shit-what do you expect me to do
I feel like shit, deja vu!"
makes for a pretty good tune. It isn't, however, anything like poetry.
I think the beauty of these pieces is that they are so personal. Because I can't get right to the point of what you're saying, I'm forced to apply my own experiences to the words you are using. The process of that exchange is intriguing and very songlike.
thats pretty much what i was going for. i like to believe that there is really something behind certain words in certain sequences that will invoke different feelings for everyone, or that some people will get the message and some will not.
the first one is actually very personable, but not in some revealing way. its called "*!" because written down the asterik is just scribbles because its about a message that everyone broadcasts that is indiscernible to yourself and the majority of people. so this isnt so much about me as my ideas about the connection between humans that we dont know about.
to be honest i am really surprised anyone actually read these. i really dont even know how i was so motivated to write this, just by the sky really. something is really changing with me lately.
haha, my signature, that scene made me laugh when i saw the movie. definitely one of my favorite movies, and frank booth is an amazing character and imagining him as david lynch intended, that is inhaling helium instead of ether, is just great. dennis hopper said that him making that suggestion that he inhale ether instead is one of his biggest and worst mistakes.
defining poetry in absolute terms is the embodiment of not understanding it, in my book.
kafka, as much as i genuinely dislike his writing, has a substantial catalog of what is considered as poetry. much of it is superficially meaningless and often too brief to project any sense of deep meaning.
The beauty of people calling whatever they desire poetry, is that others (like myself, perhaps?) will attempt to rein in these sorts of all-encompassing definitions. It is true that you can call whatever you wish poetry. The beauty in that is you can, if you'd like, vomit on a scrap of paper, fold it up and sell it as a book of poems. The problem in that is poetry becomes something my dog does after he's eaten from the garbage.
defining poetry in absolute terms is the embodiment of not understanding it, in my book.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that poetry has to be comprehensive, but the esotericism shouldn't outwiegh the substance. If you are writing in your journal, for you, Moloch's dog vomit can be a masterpiece, but when you present it to an audience, it needs to say something substantive. As a reader, if I just see words strewn together, I'm reminded of the expressionist movement and immediately put off. Moloch's dog would have provided the magnum opus of the expressionist movement, because your disgust would have derived from stench as well as sight.
__________________ rip Chad McDaniel (USAC)
rip Scott Kalitta (NHRA)
rip Henry Surtees (F2)
rip Neal Parker (NHRA)
i dont think i consider this poetry, it was just what was in my mind. it was a very surreal experience really because i dont remember how i wrote it. reading it after a week or so was like reading someone else's words. i really posted it to see if anyone could identify with the feeling i was having at that time.
