The following is but a small rough draft sample of a now 100,000 word many times revised piece of writing:
"Desolation, isolation, slow pacing, seasons changing.
What am I saying or are you pretending to listen?
Some long, some short, each day, even unto darkness or night.
Simple living is derivative of complex tools of engagement.
The machines, wrought into motion, presume all human beings to be tool or a unit, an assemblage manipulated for the profit of others.
The masters of the tools, and die from which the tools are made,
assume religions are simplistic, old, or silly.
Religion is not based on real.
A minute number of Masters are Gnostic and have reason to suspect larger, more powerful forces in and of our universe;
or assume other dimensions of existence.
The majority of the Masters are Agnostic, however.
There are few human beings outside these two categories;
that of the Agnostic controlling toolmakers,
and that of the sheep-like, mundane, simple-living folks, whom recieve massive catastrophic domination by the tool-making masters.
People among the exceptional few, are one hundred percent sure of the origin of life on Earth.
Neither Gnostic nor Agnostic.
They do not doubt the existence of reality outside the experiences on Earth, but they also do not believe in God. They know the reality of life beyond this plane of existence, yet are still human while among us. As such, these beings are one hundred percent sure what the secret to life is, what their purpose on Earth is, what is wrong from right, and what changes would be best to bring about. They are not confused about religions, understand what science has yet to prove, and thusly have the most tortured lives,
simply because there is no ignorant bliss.
Since their population is small, it is easy to explain why their knowledge is not common. Combine the fact of their existence, with the fact of the Agnostic tool maker’s need for the continued successful enslavement of Earth, (you and me) and it is easy to understand how it might be impossible for such genius’ to make their so-called mark upon our global awareness, consciousness, or even the subconscious minds that connect us all as one.
Hint...hint.
Of course, impossible it is to ignore the fact; even from their individual and mostly pointless existence, these specialists can influence the world with miniscule effort.
There is nothing wrong with anything staying as it is for the most part. In the minds of the super genius’, they understand what will be, will be. There is no need for them to exert their energies while they live here, or become hasty in purpose. They know they are right, they know how they came to be, and they know how to get back here again; nothing will stop them, nothing can harm them, coerce them, manipulate or change them. Oftentimes, they are the persons least likely to succeed on Earth, and are the people least expected to. In this way, they are a perfect fit between the other groups. They are just like everyone else. We all play our superb and useless parts. Some people may never grasp their own reality. Some, forever living a subconscious life. To awaken people from such a slumber, is truly a great thing, in fact would be one of the finest achievements you or I as human beings, and could ever hope in our lives, to accomplish. "
#######this is a rough draft excerpt from a now many times revised first few words out of nearly 100,000########
Yeah,
its poorly written,
bullshit,
stream-of-consciousness confoundation and retardation through stagnation,
which is why i want to delete it...
of course,
it is the unedited rough draft, and first page of what was 50,000 words written in 22 days without edits, which also is the only writing I had done in my entire life at that point. Also: my finished draft of the prolouge, (which i am not posting anywhere online until I am 'done' with the writing and have sought publishing somewhere), reads far better than this excerpt would lead you to believe, and after reading 'A Heartbreaking work of staggering Genius' by Dave Eggers- I have no shame whatsover in anything I have done, as A H W O SG by D E is one of the most poorly written, wasted, annoying, and ignorant pieces of literature I have ever read- and it one a pulitzer! lol lame ass motherfuckers...
anyway:
yeah:
where was i?
So,
the pro's are: its rough, and I did it,
the con's are: it sucks, and I did it.
ha!
although,
in my defense,
I must say that where it stands now- revision number 23, or some other; it reads well, flows well, comes off the tounge easily: more like a Clive Barker/ Stephen King mixed with Hemmingway style: which means: many deletions, many clean-ups, many re-written sentences, more natural style:
this section is but a small fraction of the prolouge to an actual fiction story which begins in a field in the middle of nowhere at 9pm, an 18 year old Mormon woman being struck by a vehicle, then carried off into the near woods by her assailant to be a sexual slave in the most grotesque fashion over a long period of time...
she lives,
then later dies in a freak accident just as the person who had saved and fallen in love with her was about to propose marriage
the story also includes a character who is a gay black english professer working for a small-town private college in Kansas lol,
and he has to grade horrid writing assignements by his ignorant christian white students, (which is where I threw alot of the original 55,000 words of writing over those 22 days, lol), while juggling his boy-toys and dealing with a menace to the local gay/lesbian community...
but yeah;
this novel is on the backburner, sitting at 80,000 words,
My current task is that I finish my final draft of a short story I wrote from April to May this year, and have been placing my finishing touches upon, after editor-review... this short story I now mention is a show of respect to things such as Phantasm, Evil Dead 1 2, and 3, and The Hellbound Heart, with various literary techniques employed to subconsciously or directly bring to the reader's mind novels by Stephen King, H.P. lovecraft, Nabokov, Conrad, Fitzgerald, Cormac McCarthy, Philip K. Dick, and a few others I have read many works of this year--- Brian Lumley too!
Fun.
:)
The real purpose of my writing is this;
I. I felt one day, after reading four novels in a week, that I could write a better novel than one of the author's I had read
II. I am a stay-at-home dad, supporting my wife's career, and need to feel like I can accomplish something in my life, even if it means starting and finishing a writing that may never be shared with other people
III. My guitar playing had become stagnant, and writing, coloring, reading, and writing some more; have all done tremendous positive things for my musical creativity, as well as
IV. After quitting cigarettes, alchohol, marijuana(homegrown), and caffiene for two weeks, I needed something to keep me from going insane(er).
V. My friend in Iowa City who is a published author suggests I have always had a "...brilliant creative mind' and that writing will allow me to focus that energy more consciously and may even result in becoming proficient in the craft..." , which would not be a bad thing at all.
And in summation:
Thank You for skimming it,
that's at least worth taking the time I have to post it, regardless of input.
I expected harsher criticism,
because as I stated,
Think of it like a puzzle. Or a painting. You do the broad strokes first, and THEN you do the detail. Most of it is detail. It is easier to plug content into a form than it is to just spit out form and content wholly developed. I think.
One other thing, you don't need a forum to tell you it's good or bad or make you feel good about it. You just need to work on it and fuck the rest of the world.
Thank You for that.
I used to be much more proficient at doing my thang and fucking the rest of the bullshit. So many tentacles in my mind to chop away at to get there these days. damnit. Thank You again, it was inspiring!
however,
this rough sample pales in comparison to the current revision, which i am more proud of.
This project is set aside.
I am almost done editing my short story of about 22,000 words,
then I will rewrite it,
and submit it to varoius places,
or try and find an agent with it?
i dont know yet.
I'd be happy to get published somewhere with it,
and get 10 free copies of the rag it goes in.
and I will work harder on my next project if no one digs it.
After all,
i am a newbie at this.
