opin.menu.register.jpgopin.menu.members.jpgopin.menu.forumfaq.jpgopin.menu.search.jpgopin.menu.home.jpgview our wiki

Go Back  The Tool Page: Opinion » Creativity » Poetry & Prose
User Name
Password
Reply
Old 04-19-2010, 07:09 PM   #1
Level 7 - Loquacious
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 202
Bincount™: 3
Awaiting Daybreak

The sun descends behind the lustrous clouds,
Darkness rises; I recall the pleasure.
Envious of the newly lucky crowds,
Bathed in wondrous light that they wonít treasure.

Night flies in, as stygian as a crow,
Until the stars set the night sky ablaze,
Theyíre beautiful in their own way, although
They can never compare to the sunís rays.

At its darkest moment, the daylight breaks,
Shimmering beams upon the morning mist,
As they fracture through the light, they create
A tableau of a magnificent tryst.

You brighten my life, simply by being,
Iíll never tire of what Iím seeing.
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2010, 09:11 PM   #2
Banned.
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: 55 days without an incident
Posts: 56
Bincount™: 0
Re: Awaiting Daybreak

If Keats and Poe had adopted a short bus stepchild....

sorry i couldn't help that. i think your desire to shape this really fucked you over. the images are great, if a little conventional.
if you like it the way it is then tell me to go fuck myself, but maybe just take the pictures you tried to string out of the theme and condense them down to as little as possible, along the way trying to forget the theme/title. then write with the product of that process in mind and no cares at all for what it ends up looking like.

word to the bird on "stygian", btw. it's such a nice word to look at, but so irritating to say when you're a north american. like "meme".
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote


Reply

Rate This Thread
You have already rated this thread
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Quick Reply
Your Reply:
Forum Jump

all posts © their respective authors. the tool page is not responsible for any of their thoughts, brilliant or otherwise.