|
|
11-30-2007, 10:52 AM
|
#41
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by iota
nothin' like reading this baby semi-drunk...
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by iota
*HOWLS*
|
lol |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
11-30-2007, 10:54 AM
|
#42
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfman's Imaginary Band
"i am the hero of the howling wolves"
this is one of the 38 lines that caught my eye
we've been waiting for a hero
I am inspired
*HOWLS*
|
Like I said...unexpected :) |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
11-30-2007, 05:44 PM
|
#43
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Acherontia Styx
cheers...
did you make the I lower case for a reason?
|
Yes. I was following suit. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-02-2007, 01:25 PM
|
#44
|
|
Banned.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: here/there/everywhere
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Very nice. I thought perhaps you could have just wrote I am at the beginning and not throughout the whole thing. But still very nice:)
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-02-2007, 01:28 PM
|
#45
|
|
Banned.
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 7,004
Bincount™: 13310
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by @rt_fly
Very nice. I thought perhaps you could have just wrote I am at the beginning and not throughout the whole thing. But still very nice:)
|
I think the "i am" at the beginning of every sentence emphasizes something... some part of poetry that makes this precise poem beautiful.
Shax is not writing an essay or enumerating something as in a list, mind you; in which case your advice would apply.
But not here. Not by a long shot. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-02-2007, 01:44 PM
|
#46
|
|
Level 7 - Loquacious
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SLC UT
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Very nice!
__________________
Monkey Killing Monkey Killing Monkey....
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-02-2007, 03:16 PM
|
#47
|
|
Banned.
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: here/there/everywhere
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Not hating on it, just think the "i am" could be cut in half. Shax has a very nice artistic ability.
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-03-2007, 07:39 AM
|
#48
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by @rt_fly
Very nice. I thought perhaps you could have just wrote I am at the beginning and not throughout the whole thing. But still very nice:)
|
Well thank you, but the "i am" is there for a reason. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
12-03-2007, 07:44 AM
|
#49
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by rogerdoger
Very nice!
|
Thanks rodge dodge. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 12:16 PM
|
#50
|
|
Up From The Skies
Suicide Booth ID: 13
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Stardust
Posts: 13,142
Bincount™: 26323
|
Re: soul’s inventory
This is the Picasso of poems, a masterpiece painted with words.
<3
__________________
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlights begin
It's all a mystery
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 12:21 PM
|
#51
|
|
Banned.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: noitaכo˩
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shax
i am Väinämöinen
|
I am a New Age Väinämöinen.
I can't critique this one, however, as I've written this piece, almost word for word, once in the past. The distant past. When I was a shaman. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 01:20 PM
|
#52
|
|
Level 7 - Loquacious
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Over there
Posts: 293
Bincount™: 456
|
Re: soul’s inventory
More like when you were a' shroomin'.
jkjk
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 03:32 PM
|
#53
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moloch
I am a New Age Väinämöinen.
I can't critique this one, however, as I've written this piece, almost word for word, once in the past. The distant past. When I was a shaman.
|
Almost. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 03:36 PM
|
#54
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotus.
This is the Picasso of poems, a masterpiece painted with words.
<3
|
This was the poem that brought you and I together as friends.
Epic, imo. |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 03:47 PM
|
#55
|
|
Up From The Skies
Suicide Booth ID: 13
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Stardust
Posts: 13,142
Bincount™: 26323
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Epic indeed.
I remember PM'ing you and then we hit it off right away. You're a great friend to have Shax, I hope our friendship lasts forever.
__________________
I don't know where the sunbeams end
And the starlights begin
It's all a mystery
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 03:50 PM
|
#56
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Oh cut it out. You're gonna make me cry.
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 04:13 PM
|
#57
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: smurf
Posts: 534
Bincount™: 196
|
Re: soul’s inventory
this is where you and me fell in love as well shaxy, u rumumbrh?? oh the age of innocence
*group hugz yall*
|
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
|
01-07-2009, 04:32 PM
|
#58
|
|
wolf sweater
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 806
Bincount™: 205
|
Re: soul’s inventory
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasminæ
this is where you and me fell in love as well shaxy, u rumumbrh?? oh the age of innocence
*group hugz yall*
|
I rumumbrh everything, my dear. *hugz* |
|
OFFLINE |
|
|
Powered by: vBulletin 3.8.7 Patch Level 2
Copyright ©2000 - 2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
all posts © their respective authors. the tool page is not responsible for any of their thoughts, brilliant or otherwise.
|
