i thought that might be a good place for this one to stop...
if you don't agree... just ignore me, but... here's what had happend so far...
not bad, but i don't think it's as good as the first one...
__________________________________________________
idealism sours in the mouth as the eyes embrace reality
the emptiness of collapse and contradiction beckon from obilivion
rememberance of promised glass epiphany and glacial mirrors
these mirrors reflect a perfect image, that shatters, falling on me
in a stupid trance of self-absorption
fragmented, i can now see all the parts of me
Slipping down the spine of mystery
into an abyss of understanding.
The air here is almost tangible, heavy with despair
gimmie some corndogs
and a half ounce of weed
busted frialators and dead heads have broken my dreams
when one deviates from the "cadaver" it lay in utter ruins
The only truth I know- seven years of hex upon my floor,
clouds that hover, stare at your mind
left wide open with the sun to blind
it penetrates my mind like cold shards of glass
unwavering in it's influence
communication stifled, it renders me mute
sounds awesome
this silence, what power it holds
=============================================
...PeAcE...
__________________ tranquility is found through individuality...
idealism sours in the mouth as the eyes embrace reality
the emptiness of collapse and contradiction beckon from obilivion
rememberance of promised glass epiphany and glacial mirrors
these mirrors reflect a perfect image, that shatters, falling on me
in a stupid trance of self-absorption
fragmented, i can now see all the parts of me
Slipping down the spine of mystery
into an abyss of understanding.
The air here is almost tangible, heavy with despair
gimmie some corndogs
and a half ounce of weed
busted frialators and dead heads have broken my dreams
when one deviates from the "cadaver" it lay in utter ruins
The only truth I know- seven years of hex upon my floor,
clouds that hover, stare at your mind
left wide open with the sun to blind
it penetrates my mind like cold shards of glass
unwavering in it's influence
communication stifled, it renders me mute
sounds awesome
this silence, what power it holds
nice. i like this one too. tho i think some verses are comments... LOL
like the "sounds awesome" one
Still kind of fits in with the "communication stifled, it renders me mute."
This one seems to flow better than the previous one imo. I still think it'd be hard to decipher it as a whole though. There's nothing decisively cohesive.
I have awoken, and recognize the divinity in experience
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
This looks like the best one yet...it actually has some cohesion and I can actually derive meaning from it.
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
the exquisite cadaver v 3.0 I have awoken, and recognize the divinity in experience
the haze ablaze, i sit and ponder
what has become of me?
This unfamiliar mold is cast from sublimity
perspiring flouresence radiates, dripping slowly
as the shadow of death creeps up so boldly.
I can stand now as I no longer fear it
And the body, a nest for creatures and a temple for my guilts
Purgation cleanses, wash away impurities to make ready...
For the sins I never commited, for the tears I never swallowed
My eyes bled, as my soul became hollowed.
As I depart I beg you to remember
That valediction is welcome.
enjoy...
Last edited by DON IOTAE; 02-08-2007 at 10:48 PM..
It seems like all the contributers had a similar idea in mind when they put forth their piece.
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
To live is to learn, so they say
Always remember but live for today
__________________ I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
-Vince Lombardi
