As long as I dare to
as long as I stare towards
the horizontal abyss—a
landscape of plain punctuated
by pines on its edges a shallow
bowl to accept the sun's warmth
and let its secrets simmer and
then ferment.
Sunset and the magic hour
dribble gold down on our
leaden shoulders as you and I—my
unknown friend—brace to accept
something new and unorthodox.
The death and departure from day,
toward cosmic emptiness tears
the lining of our hearts when
a shudder and a terror scream
across the clouded sky and
light disappears. We feared and
hoped for this. These clouds will
remain for some time but as
the light dims we will notice
them less and less so it shall
be all the more indifferent.
A universal event shows
rumbling signs of nearing beyond
our vision and the hairs on our
necks.
We kneel on the rim of this bowl
of earth and tree and wait and accept
whatever is to come.
It is your Will to maintain a strong and eternal resolve to continue looking forward, towards whatever may emerge from this 'horizontal abyss"- an empty void landscape lined by pines, which I personally equate trees with Life/goodness/beauty/patience/respect/perseverance, so essentially, a void with a silver lining. May you or your mind or even your extended hands be a "shallow bowl to accept the sun's warmth" (accept divine offerings/givings/whatever may come)and let "it's" secrets simmer and ferment, ferment meaning growth. Like a mental photosynthesis, absorbing fuel from the Sun (God or an existence emanating source) and transforming the food (all sensory input) and using it for personal development. "Sunset and the magic hour dribble gold" or pure knowledge, divine responsibilities, a dubbing of greatness "(upon) our leaden shoulders" as we "brace for something new and unorthodox." This is great to me, brace for something as if you know it is coming. You know change is coming, something fresh; for it is your Will to expect and (consciously or unconsciously) create change. Your surroundings will elevate to your expectations.
"the death and departure from day" and "light disappears". this is a transition period. a movement from day into night. darkness/night equates with an unknown terror, deathly fright, and impending horror, yet there is endless potential in the night; plus the moon will always be your calming companion. You feared AND hoped for this. I feel no need to elaborate on that for it is strong enough in itself. Something you fear and hope for. truly fucking excellent.
A universal event shows rumbling signs of nearing. an impending and massive occurrence that will likely change your environment.
this whole thing is great. A hope-inducing fear, an impending and OMINOUS flood of change, an intuitive and yearning patience for transformation. An inevitable transition that every single moment has led you closer and closer to. Something that you wish for, an event horizon, a psychic singularity, a threshold beyond which there is no return. a procession of mental time-warp.
A relentless patience for deliverance.
A growth and development that you are conscious of.
"If by “abyss” we understand “a great depth,” is not man’s heart an abyss?
For what is there more profound that that abyss? Men may speak, may be seen by the operation of the members, may be heard speaking; but whose thought is penetrated, whose heart is seen into? What he is inwardly engaged on, what he is inwardly capable of, what he is inwardly doing, or what purposing, what he is inwardly wishing to happen or not to happen, who shall comprehend?. . . .Do not you believe that there is in man a deep so profound as to be hidden even to him in whom it is?!?!?!?!
How do men face up to this awareness of meaninglessness, the absurd condition of man? There would seem to be no escape for him who would not evade life: he must not only adopt an attitude, but pursue the logic of his attitude. He must go beyond the rational categories upon which optimist and pessimism were founded; both were intellectual attitudes which rarely touched the nerve centers of life itself. He goes beyond the ordered structures of his life, his language, his reason to the existential core of the human situation from which expression rises and where an attitude demands commitment, where action is irrevocable. . . . “ (it is) the unavoidable path for him who recognizes at once the vital thirst and the logical need for a meaning beyond contingency and his own painful need to survive in the absence of such meaning."
