I agree with the 'See they took my by the hand'.

I believe that after "So on his way, like an apparition [?]" he says "help me cry out"

I don't know if anyone has noticed this and I figured I'd mention it just in case, but correct me if i'm wrong:

I don't think he's saying "orange slices and fetal spooning", going along with the "food" theme it sounds like, and I swear i hear it, "orange slices and *something* PUDDING". Don't know what kind of pudding, but it sounds like it has an "S" at the end of it which is blending into the beginning of the word "pudding" which is making it sound like "spooning". Give it a few listens and see if I'm right or not.

It's worth a shot, and it sounds like it would fit.

before i had read any lyrics i was thinking it had something to do with pudding, too.. now i'm just not sure what the hell he says right there.

might just be splitting hairs

but during the "apparition" part instead of "had me crying out" i hear "helped me cry it out"

anyone else hear this?

its definitely "fetal spooning"

I think it's: 'all i could think was: I hope I'm farting, cause i think I just shit my fucking pants'

The scream is the "I" from the next line

"God damn, shit the bed!
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII can't remember what they said to me"

-

"you are the chosen one. the one who will deliver the message, a message of hope for those who choose to listen, and a warning for those who don't"

You guys have done a great job deciphering the toughest song on the album. I added and changed a few minor things. Hopefully, this adds to the accuracy.


ROSETTA STONED

Alrighty then
Picture this if you will

10 to 2AM, and I�m actually heating up
a pretty old box of Krispy Kremes at my
need-to-know post just outside of Area 51
contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing when
a flaming stealth banana split the sky like wide open

Never really expected to see it in a place like this
anyway, ??? and something right on my Birkenstocks
then he yelled at me

Holy fucking shit! (x8)

Then the X-file beings who were in
some kind of blue-green jet ship with Isabella Rossellini
breath reeked, the ??? showed up, so I�ll make all this up
Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu but I cant

So I went over with my bug eyes,
my gaping jaw, and my sweaty lower and upper lip,
and all I could think was, �I hope that park ranger
doesn�t notice that I pissed my fuckin� pants.�

So alive in this way
Like an apparition
They had me crying out
Fuck me
It's gotta be
Deadhead chemistry
The bottom got on top of me
Got me seeing E motherfuckin� T

And after calming me down with some
orange slices and some fetal spooning
ET revealed to me his singular purpose
He said,"You are the chosen one. The one
who'll deliver the message. A message of
hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."

Me? the chosen one?
They chose me, and I didn't even
graduate from fuckin� high school

Should�ve been
Should�ve been
Should�ve been
Should�ve been listening

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland
Also a bit terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
When I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I just said
See them telling children
And this wasn't all in my head
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin

Strapped down, my bed
Feet cold, eyes red
I'm out, my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

High. High. High. High.

Overwhelmed as one would be
Placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read you all
The details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again� typical

Strapped down on my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help the brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can�t remember what they said to
Make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what he said
God, help me!
Can�t remember what he said

Don't know, won't know (x12)
God damn, shit the bed!

I'm pretty sure this part:
Is actually: Anyway, right then this little guy put something right on my Birkenstocks

And I hear "You're all fucked" (x8) instead of "Holy Fucking Shit"

I think that this is one of the best songs on the album for personal interpretation of the lyrics to be honest - whatever you hear will be different to the person next to you - easier just accept it that way :) if we are all patient enough i'm sure members of the band will elude to the meanings and lyrics further down the line

After reading all of this thread, here's my take of the intro:

Ten to 2AM and actually heating up the old box of krispy kremes
at my need-to-know post just outside area 51, contemplating the whole
"chosen people" thing but just then a flaming stealth banana split the
sky like wide open what I'd never really expect to see in a place like this
Anyway, thought one was gonna die but something right on my birkenstocks,
then he yelled at me:
Holy fucking shit (x8)

Then the x-file being, who was like some kind of blue-green jackie chan
with isabella rossellini lips with breath that reeked did a wicked jump there
also while making the sound ubidabubidabananaba
that's when I opened up my bugeyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Quark here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants"

I'm pretty sure it's "Uncle Quark" that you've all been searching for, not Martin

it might be......i kinda hear Quark too........isnt that the guy from star trek DS9?

I posted this in the other lyrics section, thought it worth repeating:

Great lyrics.

yup.

Rosetta Stoned - Tool
08 - Rosetta Stoned

alrighty then
picture this if you will

10 to 2 AM
and actually eating up an old box of Krispy Kremes
and my need-to-know potion.
I was just outside Area 51
contemplating the whole chosen people� thing
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae
or something wet on my Birkenstocks
and [you're yelping]
Holy fucking shit

then the x-file beings who were like
some kind of blue-grey [Jackie Chan]
with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked
[Theyre wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound]
abananadabanana so when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty lower and upper lip
and all I could think was
I hope that my partner here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fucking pants

So alive in this way
Like an apparition
you have me crying out
fuck me
It's got to be
dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got
On top of me
got me seeing
E mother-fucking T

and after calming me down with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning
the ET revealed to me his singular purpose
he said you are the chosen one
the one who'll deliver the message
a message of hope for those who chose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not
me, the chosen one, they chose me
and I didn't graduate from fucking high school

You had better...
You had better...
You had better...
You had better listen

when he looked right through me
with somniferous almond eyes
don't even know what that means
must remember to write it down
This is surreal
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

it was surreal
like I woke up in Wonderland
all sort of terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
when I tell the story
and can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
will I ever be coming down
this is surreal
finally it's my lucky day
see my heart is racing
cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

You believe me don't you
Please believe what I just said
See they're telling the truth
And this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
and invited me right in
then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin

Strapped down my bed
feet cold, eyes red
I'm out my head
am I alive am I dead
can't remember what they said
god damn shit the bed

hey hey

Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to (bear and read to) all the details of our ending
to write it down for all the world to see
but I forgot my pen shit the bed again
typical

strapped down to my bed
feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
am I alive am I dead
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
won't help the brain dead
can't remember what they said

don't know, oh no

god damn shit the bed

Hey, you guys know the part where we think it's "Holy Fuckin Shit" like 6 times, right in the beginning? I read somewhere that it's actually "Wachen Sie Auf," which is German for "wake up" It does sound like that, not sure if thats correct or not tho, worth a listen.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE

You were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do

so it goes...

great work on the lyrics so far everyone!

"but I forgot my pen"
I always thought : like more god i am

10 to 2 AM
and actually eating up an old box of Krispy Kremes
and my need-to-know potion.
I was just outside Area 51
contemplating the whole chosen people� thing
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae
or something wet on my Birkenstocks
and [you're yelping]
Holy fucking shit

then the x-file beings who were like
some kind of blue-grey [Jackie Chan]
with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked
[Theyre wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound]
abananadabanana so when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty lower and upper lip
and all I could think was
I hope that my partner here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fucking pants

I agree with this 100%. It's painfully obvious that he says "All of the sudden my penis hurts", which fits perfectly with the context of the song (especially the surrounding lyrics).

Ouch

I think this song is ultimately a humorous yet pessimistic opinion of the future.

"Aliens come and tell your average stoner the steps that need to be taken to save humanity from coming doom."

"Authorities apprehend said stoner and ask him how to save humanity"

"stoner: .........oh shit I forgot to right it down sorry =/"


In retrospect thats probaly how the world will end lol

the earlier complete lyrics I posted again sorry, but sureal should be so real

First two verses: I think this is more accurate

Grabbed at 2am an after-show eating emptied out a box of Krispy Kremes
At my need-to-know post just outside Area 51
But just then a flaming steel banana split the sky like wide open
I really didn't expect to see in a place like this
At any rate at one point I thought I saw a diamond something right on my Birkenstocks
I'm immediately yelping, "Holy fucking shit!"

Then the X file, the angel who looked like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
With Isabella Rossenlini lips and breath that reeked
Everyone could jump there so if I�m not making this up
The banana, the banana, the banana
So when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw
And I�m sweating over and all over my upper lip
And all I could think was
How the hell hard it is to not start to piss my fucking pants

LOST KEYS(BLAME HOFMANN)



Here is the conversation that takes place between the Nurse and the Doctor, and eventually the Doctor and the Patient.

Lost Keys
(voices fading in)

Nurse: Excuse me? Doctor? Do you have a moment?

Doctor: A moment? What's the question?

Nurse: More of a situation, a gentleman in exam 3

Doctor: What's the problem?

Nurse: That is the problem, we're not sure.

Doctor: You got the chart?

Nurse: Right here.

Doctor: Not much here to say

Nurse: No doctor, no obvious physical
trauma. Vitals are stable.

Doctor: Name?

Nurse: No sir.

Doctor: Did someone drop him off? Maybe we could speak to them. Let's get some background on this fella.

Nurse: No ID. Nothing (heavy breathing in background) And he won't speak to anybody.

Doctor: Well, let's say hello. Good Morning, I'm Dr. Lawson. How are you today? How - are - you today?! Look son, you're in a safe place. We wanna help in whatever way we can. But you need to talk to us. We can't help you otherwise. What's happened? Tell me everything.

ROSETTA STONED



alrighty then
picture this if you will

10 to 2 AM
and actually eating up an old box of Krispy Kremes
and my need-to-know potion.
I was just outside Area 51
contemplating the whole chosen people� thing
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae
or something wet on my Birkenstocks
and [you're yelping]
Holy fucking shit

then the x-file beings who were like
some kind of blue-grey [Jackie Chan]
with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked
[Theyre wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound]
abananadabanana so when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty lower and upper lip
and all I could think was
I hope that my partner here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fucking pants

So alive in this way
Like an apparition
you have me crying out
fuck me
It's got to be
dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got
On top of me
got me seeing
E mother-fucking T

and after calming me down with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning
the ET revealed to me his singular purpose
he said you are the chosen one
the one who'll deliver the message
a message of hope for those who chose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not
me, the chosen one, they chose me
and I didn't graduate from fucking high school

You had better...
You had better...
You had better...
You had better listen

when he looked right through me
with somniferous almond eyes
don't even know what that means
must remember to write it down
This is surreal
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

it was surreal
like I woke up in Wonderland
all sort of terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
when I tell the story
and can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
will I ever be coming down
this is surreal
finally it's my lucky day
see my heart is racing
cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

You believe me don't you
Please believe what I just said
See they're telling the truth
And this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
and invited me right in
then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin

Strapped down my bed
feet cold, eyes red
I'm out my head
am I alive am I dead
can't remember what they said
god damn shit the bed

hey hey

Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to (bear and read to) all the details of our ending
to write it down for all the world to see
but I forgot my pen shit the bed again
typical

strapped down to my bed
feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
am I alive am I dead
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
won't help the brain dead
can't remember what they said

don't know, oh no

god damn shit the bed

Klyle13 hath spoken...

Great job, but to be whiny..I think he clearly says 'alright then' instead of 'alrighty then'...the 'y' is just a side-effect of the distortion.

Strapped down in my bed.
Feet cold and eyes red.
I�m out of my head.
Am I alive, Am I dead?
Sunkist/Sunkissed(?) and Sudafed.
Gyroscopes and infrared.
Won�t help THE BRAIN DEAD
Can�t remember what they said.
Goddamn, should�ve been.

The part in caps is my ammendment. Just what it sounded like to me a makes a bit more sense

i'm not sure if this has been brought up yet, i didn't see any mentions when scanning through previous posts, but..

anybody else think that the narrator of this song is a guard working the night shift (10 - 2am) on area 51?

he's too busy indulging in his krispy kremes that he "shits the bed" (screws up his job) and instead of being on the look out for "aliens", he has an encounter himself.

if this has been mentioned already, let me, i shall delete away.

The real album is a lot easier to hear. I hear L ron hubbard upper lip now, and several other things.

i think kyle13 has yhe lyrics nailed down . . . .
almost

Yeah he's got it...probably 90%-95%...the unintelligible parts are anyone's guess, so his are as good as anyone's...

This is what I have. I am pretty sure most of what I have is right, but I have alternatives in brackets. I am pretty sure its L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, btw. I have thought that since the first time I heard the song and I can't convice myself otherwise.

Alrighty then
Picture this if you will

10 to 2 AM
and actually heating up an old box of Krispy Kremes
in my need-to-know post outside Area 51 [position]
contemplating the whole chosen people thing [old chosen people, thinking]
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky, like, wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
Anyway, I remember thinking I�m gonna die
when something lands on my Birkenstocks
[Anyway, I do remember spilling a diet something [soda]
on my Birkenstocks]
[I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae
or something wet on my Birkenstocks]
and then yelping

Holy Fucking Shit

then the x-file beings who were like
some kind of blue-gray Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips
and breath that reeked up the delicate air and made sound like abanadabanana
[They�re wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound]
so when I opened up my bug eyes
my gaping jaw and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip [lower and upper lip]
and all I could think was
I hope that my partner [Uncle Martin] here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fucking pants

So alive in this way
Like an apparition
you have me crying out
�Fuck me
It's got to be
dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
got me seeing
E mother-fucking T�

And after calming me down with some orange slices
and some meal [fetal] spooning
the ET revealed to me his singular purpose
He said you are the chosen one
the one who'll deliver the message
A message of hope for those who chose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not
Me, the chosen one
They chose me
And I didn't graduate from fucking high school

You had better...
You had better...
You had better...
You had better listen

When he looked right through me
with somniferous almond eyes
don't even know what that means
must remember to write it down
This is surreal
Like the time they floated away
See, my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

It was surreal
like I woke up in Wonderland
all sort of terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
when I tell the story
and can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
will I ever be coming down
This is surreal
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now

You believe me don't you
Please believe what I just said
See they're telling truth and [the children]
And this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
and invited me right in
then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin

Strapped down my bed
Feet cold, eyes red
I'm out my head
Am I alive am I dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn shit the bed

hey hey

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
to write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen shit the bed again
Typical

Strapped down to my bed
feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
am I alive am I dead
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
won't help the brain dead
Can't remember what they said

Oh No [don�t know]

God damn shit the bed