TOOL NEWSLETTER
FEBRUARY 2009, E.V.


"It now appears that the lengthy e-mail that I received from Barack Obama (see TOOL NEWSLETTER, DECEMBER 2008 e.v.) was actually written by a member of the “Tool Collective” who was impersonating the (then) President-elect in a misguided attempt to convince me (or a high level administrator) to change the format of the newsletters posted on the site. I learned that “one of our own” was responsible for the deception from a note that was placed inside a sealed box of “Quisp” cereal that I received in the mail on January 17th. Although the package was sent anonymously, written with a purple “magic marker” on the outside of the cereal box was a cheerful “HAPPY PRESIDENTS” DAY.” Beneath the depiction of a “quazy” pink alien, the person signed “HOCHSTETTER.”
In addition to certain details about the suspect e-mail, the note also contained the imposter’s ToolArmy identity. A quick check of recent postings on the TA message boards by this individual was enough to convince me that the whistle-blower was correct as to his/her accusations. I guess I should have known all along. Further research on my part shows that President Obama isn’t even that much of a Tool fan, preferring, instead, Dylan, the Stones, and Stevie Wonder (although I’ll give him credit for listening to Miles Davis back in those days of getting baked with bong-bingers and dancing with the white lady). Despite those who would seek to take advantage of the ‘turning of the page’ for personal benefit, in keeping with the new positive attitude sweeping the nation, as well as my vow to include more news about the band itself (as opposed to the various subjects of interest to the four members and/or their close circle of friends), here’s what I was able to come up with for the February 2009 e.v. issue:

ADAM
is currently working on several big projects, all of which he’d prefer not be made public for the time being.

MAYNARD
just returned home from more successful wine signings at Whole Foods markets (thank you!). His band PUSCIFER will be performing at CLUB NOKIA in Los Angeles on April 4th. No word as of yet about an added show.

JUSTIN
is visiting his family and friends in England, but should be returning to the states any day now. A couple of weeks ago he and Danny jammed at the loft, and this, I am told, was very productive.

DANNY
is busy working on a couple of side projects that are also under wraps. What I can divulge (I think) is that he was recently interviewed (filmed) for a forthcoming “Rush” documentary. On Friday, March 6th, he will be performing at THE KNITTING FACTORY in Hollywood with his band VOLTO!

With all of the things going on in ‘realms supersensible’, as it were, sometimes it’s just easier to attempt spirit communications via the Enochia for the divulgation of certain information that the band members and their management are reluctant to discuss. One night when not hanging out with friends at the Fox & Hounds pub - a place that I call frequently, drink moderately, pay honorably, part friendly, and go home quietly – I brought out some temple furniture, including a black skrying mirror (see Danny’s stereoscopic photo in the “10,000 DAYS” CD packaging) in order to conduct a séance. In that it seemed as if EXARP had gone fishing for the day, I decided to take my chances with an elemental spirit from the Elemental Tablet of Water (from the Earth of Water subangle).

Using my usual skrying technique to encourage the spirit to manifest itself, it wasn’t long before the opalescent shifting in the black speculum revealed the form of an astral elemental. This figure appeared as a fairly normal looking human male with silvering hair, wearing a purple toga embroidered with gold thread. Upon its head was a laurel crown, and its feet were shod with Roman footwear of the calceus type. There seemed to be a blurry circus-like event going on in the background, but, over the course of the session, this was never clearly defined. Unlike the more normal procedure of using a rod to point to letters arranged in squares, the unnamed being hovered over the blades of 23 daggers. Picking these daggers up one at a time, the figure used them to point to 23 letters of the Enochian alphabet. The first word that was spelled by receiving the letters in the normal reverse manner was “OL”, meaning “I, myself.” The second word turned out to be “SONF”, which is translated from the Enochian or Angelic language into English as “reign” or “rule.” Next came “VAORSAGI”, a word that means “over you.” Placed together, this reads quite simply, “I reign over you.”

Although this seemed somewhat promising, there was a problem with the forth and final word that was slowly (!) revealed before the mirror clouded over. The problem was that the word, “SILITNIUQ”, although at first glance looks like an Enochian word, it actually isn’t (at least it couldn’t be found in any of my Enochian dictionaries*). In consulting these, the closest word I could find was “SOLAMIANU”, which means “whose [long] continuance.” However, this isn’t the word that was spelled out, and therefore must be discounted. So, for now, “SILITNIUQ” would appear to be gibberish, and as such, the séance appears to offer little in the way of a message. Even so, I include it here in the event that someone else can make sense of it. Perhaps that which I was hoping to be made public is, for the time being, still meant to be veiled from mortal vision. But if someone is able to fathom a meaning from the experiment, keeping in mind that such elementals are notorious tricksters, please shout it out from the top of a mountain, rather than writing it on a scrap of paper and placing it inside a box of “Quisp” that’s mailed to you know who.

* Y and J in place of I were also tried, as was V and W in place of U."




Anyone got any bright ideas?

yeah don't worry about the news about tool until fall of 2009

There's a secret message in there somewhere! I just KNOW it!

i did like this part
JUSTIN
is visiting his family and friends in England, but should be returning to the states any day now. A couple of weeks ago he and Danny jammed at the loft, and this, I am told, was very productive.

i say album april/may 2011

maynard will probably wanna milk as much cash from puscifer as he can

I agree!

SILITNIUQ - QUINTILIS

"The calendar year of the Romans originally began in March, so the counting begins with March. The fifth month is therefore July, which used to be called Quintilis until it was renamed July to honor Julius Caesar. Likewise, August was Sextilis or 'sixth' until it was renamed to honor Augustus. September is based on the Latin for 7; October, for 8; November, for 9; and December, for 10."

okay

What do you all think of this? From fourtheye..

"This is nothing more than speculation based on Blair’s cryptic emails, but is worth posting anyway:

Sounds kinda crazy I know, but collectivejudas29 put together a good analysis of Blair’s spirit session from the February newsletter that led him to conclude Tool may be playing a show in July. It seems right to me, and more specifically it seems like they might be playing a festival. If it’s in July, that means it’s not Bonnaroo and not Lollapalooza. But there is another festival I’ve been hearing more and more about, and maybe it’s where Tool is heading — the All Good Festival:

'Two parts of Blair’s message led me to this conclusion. The first is his footnote that seems to have no purpose. “* Y and J in place of I were also tried, as was V and W in place of U.” It has no place at all in figuring out what SILITNIUQ means. (SILITNIUQ is just QUINTILIS backwards, referring to July.) So what does that footnote mean? I think the letters are also backwards in the footnote, so not V and W (VW), but W and V (WV = West Virginia). Also he says at the end “if someone is able to fathom a meaning from the experiment, … please shout it out from the top of a mountain”. The All Good Festival is being held on Marvin’s Mountaintop in West Virginia.'

I probably wouldn’t book your flights/tickets just yet though. Thanks to ogt from Toolarmy."

Anyone think anything of that?

No one else gives a shit enough to do that.

sounds sort of promising for once, i mean it all kinda makes sense

Agreed.

tracklist?

You're fucking blind if you don't think there's a message like this in every one of blairs newsletters, not necessarily about Tool playing shows or releasing things, but a message nonetheless. He himself has said before, that when writing about the occult, no word is wasted...

Don't provoke people to find something that's not there, because god knows there are those kind of people on here who will spend days rearranging every letter until they've come up with some sort of incoherent message from the dead. Of course, the lips of wisdom are closed except to the ears of understanding.

Today, 09:11 AM Kody27


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And what are they then?

Ha!

i found his head!!!!