Just a note, I'd really like someone to back me up on the "you know, a box of krispy kremes." Right at the beginning. I'm not positive on the word before that, but the you know part I'm stone cold set on. So is my room mate.

Alrighty then,
Picture this if you will:

Began at 2 AM and I fueled eating up an entire box of krispy kremes and I might eat enough as I saw area 51, contemplating the multitudes of the most flaming stuff I've ever seen and then it ripped the sky wide open, and I've never seen a place like this. I do believe I punctured or died or[?] something within my Birkenstocks. Holy fucking shit (x5).

Then the X-Files beings who were in some kind of blue-green jetship [?] with breath that reeked, and he went buggadabuggadabuddada, stare back into my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my steady lower and upper lip and all I could think was I hope Uncle ? here doesn't notice I pissed my fucking pants.

So alive in this way, like an apparition he/aboriginie[?] had me crying out:
Fuck me.
It's gotta be.
A Deadhead.
Chemistry.
The bottom got up on top of me.
It's got me seeing E motherfucking T.

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal/needle[?] spooning the ET revealed to me his singular purpose, he said:
"You are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."

Me, the chosen one.
They chose me, and I didn't even graduate from fucking high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes.
Don't even know what that means.
But remember to write it down.
This is so real.
Like the time they floated away.
See, my heart is burning.
Cause this shit never happens to me.

Can't breathe right now.

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
It was a bit terrifying
I don't want to be all alone
When I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why,
It was a repeat experience[?]
Will I ever be coming down.
This is so real.
Finally, it's my lucky day.
See my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me.

I can't breathe right now.

You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I just said.
See them telling children[?]
And this wasn't all in my head.
See they took me right by the hand.
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down on my bed.
Feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out my head.
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said.
God damn, I shit the bed.

High/Hi/Hey/I[?]

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be -- "The One."
Born to bear and write you all the details of our ending;
To write it down for all the world to see.
.. But I forgot my pen.
Shit the bed again -- typical.

Strapped down on my bed.
Feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head.
Am my alive? Am my dead?
Sunkist and sudafed.
Gyroscopes and infrared.
Won't help the braindead.
Can't remember what they said.
Goddamn, I shit the bed.

(Scream)

I can't remember what they said, to me.
Can’t remember what they said to make me out to be a hero.
Can't remember what they said.

Can’t remember what they said.

Don't know, won't know, don't know, won't know, don't know, won't know ..

Goddamn, shit the bed.

This part needs to be eliminated as it is obviously holy fucking shit x4

eh ehm... this is what i got. there are so many posts on this, so far, and i have not read them all, so i have collaberated all the other posts with mine, though i did fuse some of them with my version. anyway, here goes (hope this helps):

1:54
and after calming me down with some worn/warm slices
and some nose bleed?
he came/then revealed to me his singular purpose
he said :you are the chosen one
"the one who will deliver the message
"a message of hope to those who choose to hear it
"and a warning to those who do not"
me... the chosen one... he chose me...
and i didn't graduate from fuckin' highschool.


2:36
shot/shut down/you'd better
-more clearly...- you'd better -the next 3 times-
you'd better listen



3:23
well it/he looked right through me/when he looks right through me
with somniferous solid/almond? eyes
don't even know what that means
but remember to right it down
this is so real
like the time he/we/you floated away
see my heart is stabbing
'cause this shit never happens/happened to me


4:00
can't breathe
right now
you were/it was so real
like i woke up and walked around/in wonderland
sort of terrifying
i don't want to be all alone
gonna/wanna tell you a story
and can anyone down here/tell me why -i have no idea- being scared, or something
what/what'd i lose coming down?
this is a story
finally, it's my lucky day
see, my heart is racing
'cause this shit never happens to me


4:46
can't breathe
right now
*short pause*
you believe me, don't you?
please believe what i just said.
see the dead/daddy told/tore him
and this once and only fight? flight?
if you could show me the? hand
and i'm going to be right here
and/then they they showed me somethin'
but i need my own?/to know? to? begin.


5:48
strapped down
in my bed
feet cold
eyes red
i'm outta
my head
am i alive?
am i dead?/my dad...?
can't remember
what they said
goddamn
shit the bed

6:31
no fucking clue... hhhhii, hiiii, iieiii, something, eeiiiii, hii, hiiiii
i'm going home...? something in time/tone with the guitar.


8:40
how is what i be?
placed in my position
such a heavy burden,
not/now to be the one/woman
aren't you/won't you very reach to/read to
the/while details of our ending?
to write it down, the world, on what you see?
i forgot a pen
shit the bed, again... typical.


9:19
strapped down
my bed
feet cold
eyes red
i'm outta
my head
my life
my dead
sunkist, sudafed
gyroscopes,'n' nicorette
won't help, brain dead
can't remember what they said
goddamn, shit the bed
IIIIIIIIIIIIIII can't remember what they said... to me
can't remember what they said to me
laid out/they know/they yell/maybe now to be a hero
can't remember what they said
god(or maybe 'ahhhh,' screamed out) help me
can't remember what he said


10:40
hell no
won't know
don't know -i don't fuckin' know, some odd variation of those three terms... he might not even say 'don't' at any point.-
goddamn, shit the bed

good luck,
corey

I think he's saying "a box of Krispy Kremes at my "need to know" post just outside Area 51"

at 8:40, i just heard it differently...
redo all the details of our ending?
to write it down for all the world to see...
but i forgot my pen...
shit the bed, again... typical.

err... apparently the guy who posted before me already had something like that... sorry, i probably should have read all the other versions before posting mine.

-corey

I thought this part was settled already...

"Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
born to bear and read to all the details of our ending...
to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen.
Shit the bed again.
Typical."

Easy....

Also... didnt look to see if anyone else mentioned these... but:

1) I hear something about "stopping on a dime" just before the line where he says "Birkenstocks" in the beggining of the song. Makes sense if he's talking about a UFO.

2) "And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning..." sounds right to me.

Just thought I'd toss those in...

.

It's gospel etched in stone for me.

Yes, but I keep seeing people come in with their own versions of lyrics which have parts that are OBVIOUSLY wrong, when someone else before them has already posted correct lyrics for those parts.

Take a little time and read over what's been posted first before posting the full lyrics again.

Peanut to Paris

For some reason I keep hearing "Peanut's Parents". I hear the "nts" very clearly.

Ignore this post... I was replying in another thread and somehow this got dropped into this one. Weird....

I could have sworn he is saying "John Scopes" instead of Gyroscopes, John Scopes is the teacher that had to go to court to battle about teaching evolution, but I could be way off on that, it was called the "monkey trial" by some, I think.

Yeah it was... but I think in this part of the song he's talking about the things they might try on him or give him in the hospital to help him out or make him feel better.

"Sunkist, Sudafed, gyroscopes and infrared won't help. (I'm) brain dead..."

I dont think this has been mentioned but I am pretty sure that "deadhead chemistry" is one phrase, used here to refer, I think, to particularly good acid, like the kind you might get from a deadhead, or at a dead show.

Shit the bed? are you serious? hahahaahaha. I trust you guys anyway. coming from a band that has a song called Hooker with a penis you can expect the unexpected I guess...

Salud!

Yeah it's just a funny expression for screwing up...

my god that is brilliant...thank you
well fuck me tool

fuck me hard

From the stuff you guys did along with some transcribing of my own I came up with these:

Alright, then
Picture this if you will:

Began at 2 AM and I fueled eating up peanuts, box of Krispy Kremes and my need to know poses
As I saw Area 51 contemplating the multitudes of people thinking it was just a flaming stealth
But then it split the sky light wide open open. I never expect to see you in a place like this. Anyway ...
God pulled up some diamonds or something out of my birkenstocks and he told me:

Holy fucking shit
(holy fucking shit x4)

Then the x-file being hooked me into some kind of blue-green jet ship with
Isabella Rosalini which I say have a breath that reeked.
they did like a good job but there's a store that can make them disappear
Bububububuu I swear on
My bububu-bugged eyes; my gaping jaw;
A steady upper and upper and upper and upper
all i could think was "I hope that Uncle Parker doesn't notice that I have pissed my fucking pants."


I didn't add the other lines after that since they're a lot easier to figure out than the first few minutes of the song.

changed stuff in the brackets.

does anyone else think it's "This is surreal" instead of "This is so real" ?

edit: ah, nevermind. one of them kinda sounded like surreal, but others sound like so real, so I don't really know

**many changes throughout**


Alrighty then
Picture this if you will

10 to 2am and actually eating up the ya'know box of krispy kremes at my need-to-know post just outside area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing but just then a flaming steel banana split the skylight but wide open never expect to see at a place like this...
anyway
it put us on a diamond-something right on my birkenstocks and he
--yelping--
holy fucking shit (repeat x 7)


Then the x-files -- he aimed to it -- it was some kind of blue-green jerky shit with isabella rossellini lips and breath that reeked
and they woodchip shot terrorists while making the sound abananadabanana that's when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty over and upper and upper lip and all I could think was I hope uncle parker doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants.

So lions wait
like an apperition he had me cryin out
fuck me
gotta be a deadhead chemistry
the bottle droppers on top of me
got me seein E motherfucking T

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning the ET revealed to me his singular purpose, he said:
"You are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."

Me, the chosen one.
They chose me, and I didn't graduate from fucking high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then ya looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down

This is surreal
Like the time they floated away
See my heart is pounding
'cause this shit never happens to me

Can't breathe right now.

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
Awesome and terrifying
And I wanna be all alone
while I tell you a story
and can anyone tell me why?
(all of a sudden the Peanuts' parents)
Will I ever be coming down?

This is so real
finally it's my lucky day
see my heart is racing
'cause this shit never happens to me


I can't breathe right now.

You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I just said.
See they're telling children
And this wasn't all in my head.
See they took the other hand.
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down on my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed


Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
to write it down for all the world to see
but I forgot my pen
shit the bed again
typical

Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am my alive? Am my dead?
Sunkist and sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help the braindead
Can't remember what they said
Goddamn, shit the bed

(Scream)
I can't remember what they said to me
Can’t remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said

bah, help me (can't remember what he said)

Don't know
Won't know
(repeat)

God damn
Shit the bed

Ditto kiddo

I've also wondered if it was surreal. Seems to almost fit the context better.

from what you guys have down this song sounds like a crazy acid trip that wont go away. not crazy good bad like really bad crazy

I think it's ego spooning, like a mental connection or even trying to appeal to his ego.

But isn't "fetal spooning" much, much funnier? Come on... just imagine... you're abducted by aliens, and to calm you down they try spooning with you? Hilarious! "Fetal spooning" fits with the humerous tone/aspect of the song, so it gets my vote.

not that i subscribe to the conspirators but I think Rosetta Stoned is some how tied into track 13 - Faaip de Oiad from lateralus.


13
Faaip de Oiad

"I, I don't have a whole lot of time. Um, OK, I'm a former employee of Area 51. I, I was let go on a medical discharge about a week ago and, and... [chokes] I've kind of been running across the country. Damn, I don't know where to start, they're, they're gonna, um, they'll triangulate on this position really soon.

OK, um, um, OK, what we're thinking of as, as aliens, they're extradimensional beings, that, an earlier precursor of the, um, space program they made contact with. They are not what they claim to be. Uh, they've infiltrated a, a lot of aspects of, of, of the military establishment, particularly the Area 51.

The disasters that are coming, they, the military, I'm sorry, the government knows about them. And there's a lot of safe areas in this world that they could begin moving the population to now. They are not! They want those major population centers wiped out so that the few that are left will be more easily controllable."

yes, but not acid.

'shit the bed' is normally used as a term when someone jumps out the bed,
you know as in "you shit the bed this morning?" and i thing thats the terminolgy maynard
as he goes on about been strapped down in his bed so its like he had a bad trip
and he was on his bed maybe blacked out for a few hours and halucinated then he gets to the bit about been strapped down etc and suddenly wakes up and says goddamn shit the bed never heard shit the bed used before as for something been broken or forgetting something

yeah but you live in a country where its acceptable to fuck sheep.

Haha.

But yeah, it's not being used as "I forgot something" or "something's broken"... The expression means "I fucked up." It's just a general term for when you screw something up... for example... when you're given a solution to humanity's problems by an alien race, but you forget to write it down. Whoops.

haha if only it was acceptable id be out chasing them sheep now lol

still ive never heard it used for that term (but im not saying your wrong either)
my post was directed at someones earlier in the thread that was going on puting it as the tv shit the bed

Yikes... I'm predicting that *maybe* you shouldn't have said that on here................

THE BEGINNING MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF.

seriously, it sounds like the voice is overlapping in such a way that it doesn't even sound like it but at the same time it's definitely not just one voice.

I NEED TO START MAKING SENSE. :(

umm i haven't read all posts on this thread but it seems like, at least toward the end of the thread, that most people here miss the sarcasm. no?

this song is about telling a very specific group of TOOL's fan to fuck off...

are you suggesting that TOOL only wants certain types of ppl to listen to their music and that acid eating, ufo geeks are not one of those groups??

Wow, Tool wants me to fuck off. They chose ME. Fantastic.