opin.menu.register.jpgopin.menu.members.jpgopin.menu.forumfaq.jpgopin.menu.search.jpgopin.menu.home.jpgview our wiki

Go Back  The Tool Page: Opinion » Creativity » Poetry & Prose
User Name
Password
Reply
Old 05-16-2008, 12:35 PM   #1
Level 2 - Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: ...
Posts: 8
Bincount™: 0
Repeat

Repeat.


The atmosphere engulfs me, shades of white.
Slowly moving towards the object of my hatred.
The ink tediously spilt welcomes me to this obstrusive feeling,
The water flowing calmingly behind me

Delicate, Nausious,
Too much time spent on thinking,
I am here.
Gleaming metal and coarse cloth,
I am here.

Passing tiles and stares are my scenic route.
I glance up, The gateway to my destination,
Warm blankets and soothing atmosphere.
My destination.


Disorient me, oxygen.
Disorient me ivory lights.

Tear and shove, I long for feeling.
Tear and shove, I long for touch.

Snaking through my crimson femoral, enter the chamber.
Ryhthmic machine my hatred, My life.

A failure




This is not exactly finished, but I thought i'd share.
__________________
There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman.
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2008, 07:02 PM   #2
swept underneath my skin
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: asd
Posts: 3,304
Bincount™: 1097
Re: Repeat

I dig it
__________________
Lead Programmer, http://EdgeOfChaos.planetdoom.gamespy.com
Artist, http://caibbor.deviantart.com
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2008, 06:16 AM   #3
On Probation
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: TOP SECRET
Posts: 28
Bincount™: 0
Re: Repeat

Quote:
Originally Posted by Usurper14 View Post
Repeat.


The atmosphere engulfs me, shades of white.
Slowly moving towards the object of my hatred.
The ink tediously spilt welcomes me to this obstrusive feeling,
The water flowing calmingly behind me

Delicate, Nausious,
Too much time spent on thinking,
I am here.
Gleaming metal and coarse cloth,
I am here.

Passing tiles and stares are my scenic route.
I glance up, The gateway to my destination,
Warm blankets and soothing atmosphere.
My destination.


Disorient me, oxygen.
Disorient me ivory lights.

Tear and shove, I long for feeling.
Tear and shove, I long for touch.

Snaking through my crimson femoral, enter the chamber.
Ryhthmic machine my hatred, My life.

A failure




This is not exactly finished, but I thought i'd share.

This seems so sad at the end. I think because it captures that feeling of the chokehold of addiction.

Thanks for sharing :-)
OFFLINE |   Reply With Quote


Reply

Rate This Thread
You have already rated this thread
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Quick Reply
Your Reply:
Forum Jump

all posts © their respective authors. the tool page is not responsible for any of their thoughts, brilliant or otherwise.