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Old 06-09-2005, 08:38 PM   #1
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A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

Before I start; hi, I'm Mike. I'm 18, graduating from high school in two weeks, and looking forward to that like nothing else. I've been listening to Tool for a few years now, and they swiftly became my favourite band after listening to Aenima on the bus to school every day for a month or so.

This here is an essay I wrote for school. In my English class last semester, we had to write a 'jugular essay' - an essay about our passions, essentially. Originally, I was gonna write it about music, but then I thought, 'Hey, I should write it on Tool.' Then I realised that there was way too much shit to write about if I wanted to do Tool as a whole justice, so I decided to write it on just one song, for a challenge. And, obviously, since this is in the Salival Pushit section, I wrote it on - surprise - the Salival version of Pushit.

I hope you enjoy. Please tell me if I look like a huge flaming idiot in any of this :P.




Pushit On Me, Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Tool

We've been trying something a little different this tour. We've been looking at one of our songs from a different angle, under a different light, so we can hopefully kind of see it almost for the first time. We'd like try that for you tonight, is that okay?

We're gonna need your help though. We're gonna need your help and your permission, so we need you to find a comfortable space, that is not only comfortable, but vulnerable. I want you to shut your eyes and go there, and we'll meet you on the other side...


This brief speech by Maynard James Keenan, frontman for Tool, sets the stage for the thirteen minutes that is the dark, moody, epic soundscape of ‘Pushit’ performed live. Seas of emotion are traversed within it, taking it from the calm shores of a softly sung melody over a delicate guitar line to a massive, roaring storm at the end, with brief stops in the sometimes treacherous waters of elements such as a table (Latin hand drum) solo along the way. Majestic, monumental, moving; it could be described as those, but Pushit is for me something different altogether, something more and less than anything that could be expressed with those words.

But before I try to do just that, a brief background of the song.

Pushit originally appeared on Tool’s 1996 release, “Ænima”, as the prelude to the ferocious and scathing title track. “Ænima” is a concept album, using elements of Jungian philosophy, evolutionary science and pure, raw human emotion to detail the movement from humanity to divinity; self-improvement in its highest form, in other words. The place of Pushit within this album is to show the rejection of all the impure parts of yourself, the hidden and twisted parts of your personality and environment that stop you from the final step of ‘self-actualization’, as Maslow would put it. As the song Ænema deals with the destruction of the unnatural constructs the modern world has created, it is natural that Pushit would deal with the purging of oneself, before that step. When Maynard sings, ‘What are you but my reflection?/Who am I to judge or strike you down?’, the meaning can emerge as, ‘How can I judge you when I am no better?’ The song progresses to cover that final evolution, in a manner that fits with the whole mood of Ænima; terrifying angry and full-on, making up for its lack of subtlety with a raw power that could impress even the most disdainful rock critic. (It certainly impressed me well enough.)

Now, this works within the CD, and the album version of Pushit is an excellent song in itself; however, Tool evidently felt that more could be done with it, and so when they were on tour, they modified it to be more reflective, slightly more laid-back, but also more moody and intense. This final version was recorded live and released on the ‘Salival’ album a few years after Ænima’s release.

I could write an entire essay just on the changes in the music, without any reference to the singing, the mood, or the overall impact of the song… but that’s not what I’m here for. What really gets to me, what makes me stop everything so I can be fully in the moment with this song, is a feeling I get every time I listen to it, a feeling that I can express only imperfectly with this essay. There are too many elements interweaving and coming together to form the complex tapestry of Pushit to give justice to in only a few pages; the most important ones, the ones that really blow my mind and get me really passionate about this song, I will attempt to cover.

In this case, the most appropriate place to begin would be the beginning.

As already mentioned, Pushit is a song about destroying the ‘wrong’ or ‘impure’ parts of your personality; however, the song does not confront this directly. Instead, right from the start, you know that the singer is addressing a specific person.

Saw that gap again today.
While you were begging me to stay.
Take care not to make me enter.
If I do we both may disappear.

Saw that gap again today.
While you were begging me to stay
Managed to push myself away
And you as well, my dear
And you, as well
Pushed you away my dear

Although, as with all of Tool’s songs, narrowing the possible interpretations of the lyrics down to one is impossible, a general idea can be extracted from these two stanzas. The ‘gap’ that Maynard refers to is a gap within himself, most likely, a gap between who he is and who he wants to be. ‘While you were begging me to stay’ is an especially effective line, considering it is only the second in the song, and it communicates an awful lot. ‘Begging me to stay’ indicates a relationship, and more than that, one in which one partner is in fear of the other leaving. The singer feels in danger of losing himself within the ‘gap’, and that it is mentioned as his partner is begging him to stay indicates that she (Maynard revealed at a later point that this song was in a large part inspired by an ex-girlfriend) is seen by the singer as a part of the gap, the cause, the result, or maybe a symptom, and this will come back later in the song.

This is an idea I’ve found in a lot of music, and one that I’ve always enjoyed (and don’t think I’m sick because of that); the whole idea (and inherent irony) of violence mixed in with longing, as well as the use of the ‘gap’ to indicate an idea far beyond that little word, just kills me. There’s something about being able to dig deeper into music, being able to go through layers upon layers of meaning to come out with something truly profound, that I really love. It’s like how some people refer to debating, reading the newspaper, or in other ways being intellectual as brain food; Pushit, and songs like it, for me are soul food. (And I apologise for stealing that from the Blues. It had to be done.)

The second stanza is more interesting; with the use of ‘push you away my dear’, not only is the idea of abuse/an abusive relationship begun, but the use of the word ‘push’ obviously refers to the song’s title. This grants the stanza much more impact, as the title is usually used in the most important and relevant sections of the song. The way that ‘push you away’ is repeated, trailing off at the end of the verse as the music slowly builds, can almost put me in a trance, while having the impact and ‘kick’ that Tool always does well. It’s the first of the many ‘stop-and-take-notice’ moments that I find in the song.

And this is only two verses in. Hold on; there’s a lot more.

Consider the next verse:

I will choke until I swallow
Choke this infant here before me
What are you but my reflection?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?

As already mentioned, the line, ‘Who am I to judge or strike you down?’ gets to the heart of the song (as well as being just a killer line). This is Maynard’s self-doubt kicking in; he’s talking about pushing away his loved one, saying that she is the reason for this gap in himself, when in reality he is the cause of his problems, and criticizing her like that is only a way of externalizing his own inner conflict. This is more of the ‘love and pain’ theme expressed earlier; and hey, the more the better as far as I’m concerned.

Then Maynard comes in with a harshly whispered refrain that sends chills down my spine:

But you’re pushing me
And I’m shoving you
And you’re pushing me
And I’m shoving you

With this, he returns a measure of balance to the equation; the partnership is equally abusive, equally unhealthy. Both partners are contributing to the gap. Juxtaposed with the previous stanza, this could almost be seen as a shouting match with a mirror, or perhaps rubbing salt in a wound; by keeping the relationship, it is impossible for him to close this gap and become whole.

That’s something I greatly enjoy about all of Tool’s music, and this song in particular; the previous verse is merely two lines sung twice, but the combination of the delivery, the music and the context of the lyrics can conjure up all of these images and emotions in me. They do it with a lot of their songs, but Pushit is one of the standouts in that category.

The next two verses

Rest your trigger on my finger,
Bang my head upon the fault line
You better take care not to make me enter
If I do we both may disappear

But you're pushing me
And I’m shoving you
And you’re pushing me
And I’m shoving you

continue this trend, reinforcing the idea that they are both authors of their own destruction. Of most interesting is the first line: Rest your trigger on my finger. This is the strongest implication yet of the mutual consent they have in destroying each other.
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Old 06-09-2005, 08:39 PM   #2
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

(part II)

Suddenly, the mellowness of the first section of the song is gone; the drums come in, the guitars increase in intensity, and Maynard keens:

You still love me

We're pushing and we’re shoving
And you're pushing and I'm shoving

You still love me
You still love me

And we’re pushing and we’re shoving
And I'm pushing as you’re shoving

And I’m slipping back into the gap again
I feel alive when you touch me...
I feel alive when you hold me...
...down

‘I feel alive when you hold me… down.’ There is no more artful way of expressing the ideas building up to this point than with this line. And the use of that line, once again, perfectly ties into the theme, articulated within the first two lines, of the intermingling of violence and longing. Call me weird (although I prefer the term ‘non-linear’) but there’s something in that idea that cuts right to everything I enjoy about music.

Slipping back into you…

Following this is the aforementioned drum solo. I find it interesting that in today’s market of manufactured pop singers, whiney (if I may be that blunt) Emo bands, generic punk groups and terrible nu-metal nonsense, Tool, whose latest album has gone double platinum in the USA, managed to find a reason to bring Latin traditional drumming into their live set. It restores my faith (somewhat) in the state of the modern music market. The atmosphere created by the combination of the Latin drums with Carey’s regular drum kit is nothing short of incredible, keeping the tension created by the verses and adding to it what has been call the ‘evil bongos’ effect; a very menacing and foreboding feel, to say the least.

After a while, the drumming patterns move into a kind of ‘holding pattern’ feel. There is a great emphasis on low, tribal sounding beats, complemented by the guitarist playing a melody that sounds almost like an echoed argument, or a silhouette of a dramatic scene in a movie; hinting at far more than it shows, suggesting a mood rather than shoving it (or pushing it, as it were) down your throat. It provides the perfect place for the vocals to enter with:

I am somewhere I don’t wanna be
Put me somewhere I don’t wanna be
Push me somewhere I don’t wanna be
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see
Never wanna see that place again...

This could be seen as the turning point in the song, although a subtle one; the lyrics and their delivery give little initially to show how telling this stanza is. However, when considering the song as a whole, it comes out as incredibly important. Every part of the music in this section communicates depression; not the sullen, selfish adolescent kind most often portrayed in music, but the depression of knowing that you are the architect of your own imprisonment, and moreover, that there is no way out. Or at least, that’s how it appears at the start of the verse.

As Maynard releases the long ‘n’ sound in ‘again’, all of the band kicks in with the energy that you expect from Tool. Considering the position of the sudden change in music, right after Maynard sings, ‘Never wanna see that place again…”, it seems reasonable to think that just by reaching the bottom, reaching the point where he knows that he cannot live in this situation, he has found a foothold, a ground where he can move from. That idea, of finding a stepping stone after sinking as low as you can go, is one that I have come across in my life; in the odd times that I’ve done something crazy and illogical like leave everything to move halfway across the planet, it provided me with an opportunity to look at who I am and the things about myself that don’t change just because I happen to be living in another country.

Following this breakdown section comes an extended guitar solo over the top of the drums and bass. It’s not a typical guitar solo; indeed, it sounds more like a confused radio signal than any kind of regular guitar bridge. Obviously, this is the intent, and it gives to that section a truly chaotic feeling, as if the vocalist is looking for a way out, an alternative, a kind of release.

And then it comes, when the guitarist plays a solo contrary in every way to the last one. It is controlled, almost conventional, and has a smoothness and flow to it that suggests that maybe, he has finally found what he’s looking for. In the same way that a great riff can make a song absolutely deadly, this guitar solo, no more than forty-five seconds long and placed almost at the end of the song, is a moment of pure listening pleasure, every time I listen to Pushit. All of the tension that is building up throughout the entire song is released all at once, and it’s a feeling that, honestly, you just have to experience for yourself. It’s absolutely amazing.

Easing off, the music parts like the Red Sea for long enough for Maynard to deliver, punctuated with bursts of noise after each line:

Saw that gap again today
While you were begging me to stay
Managed to push myself away,
And you as well, my dear

One of the many things that I love about Tool is the way that they use the structure of their songs to such great effect. This is the exact same verse that appears earlier in the song, but yet it is completely different. It’s different, true, because the tempo, the delivery and the music is faster and more intense, but it’s more significantly different because of where it comes in the song. After the journey of emotions that the singer has through the song, to come back to this point could represent coming full circle, finding yourself and finding a resolution to the quandary shown when first this verse appeared. Those times that I manage to listen to this song, uninterrupted, the whole way through (oddly, usually while walking home from school), by this time in the song I’m almost in a trance due to the way that the music piles on layer after layer of meaning, depth, impact – and all without feeling in any way forced.

This only adds to the impact as Maynard sings:

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement anyway
I must persuade you another way

There is a phenomenon dubbed by Tool fans on the internet as a ‘Toolgasm’; in other words, a musical experience involving a Tool song that is as good as or better than sex. Although you can get this occasionally with other bands, there is something about Tool that can give you these moments almost one a song. When all the music stops and Maynard’s voice soars to sing the end of the last line, no matter where I am, I have to stop, close my eyes and just experience it. It’s an incredible feeling, and something that no words can properly express.

I’d like to add that the first line, ‘If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,’ is one of the most beautiful lines I have heard in a song. Even without its significance within the grand scheme of the song, the phrasing, the internal rhythm and the way it just flows really makes it stand out in my mind. I think it’s because it flows so effortlessly. The magnificent use of internal rhyme (say and stay, fade and sigh) doesn’t hurt this at all.

As to the meaning of this stanza… there is so much you could interpret this to mean, but it seems likely that what he means is that, when his attempts to leave her are rejected out of hand, he must get rid of her another way – forcibly, as it turns out by the end.

Pushing and shoving and
Pushing and shoving and
Pushing me

There's no love in fear.

And here is where it truly goes crazy; the drums and guitars speed up to almost the normal speed of a metal song, and you know that, whatever your interpretation of the final events of the song, it’s all coming to an end.

Staring down the hole again
Hands are on my back again
Survival is my only friend
Terrified of what’s to come

Remember I will always love you
As I claw your fucking throat away
It will end no other way
It will end no other way…

And an end has come. I’ll not try to extrapolate on what exactly he’s talking about at the end of the song; it’s something you have to come to your own conclusions about. Regardless, it’s the summation of a magnificent journey in music, one that left me stunned, dazed and amazed. Hopefully it will you too.



(so, what'd you think? :))
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:34 PM   #3
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

Pretty damn good; I think you have hit the feelings and meanings conveyed in the song in your essay quite well. Also...anyone with the determination to write that long an essay about one damn song is truely...well...determined :P
Kudos. Kudos to you and welcome to TDN!

P.S.-If you've seen Queerest of the Queer yet, TDN does not = gay. Not that I have anything against gays, but I know that most are just not gay here.

Edit: I think...
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Old 06-12-2005, 09:07 AM   #4
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wave.Existance.Tears
Pretty damn good; I think you have hit the feelings and meanings conveyed in the song in your essay quite well. Also...anyone with the determination to write that long an essay about one damn song is truely...well...determined :P
Kudos. Kudos to you and welcome to TDN!

P.S.-If you've seen Queerest of the Queer yet, TDN does not = gay. Not that I have anything against gays, but I know that most are just not gay here.

Edit: I think...
Thanks! It's always good to get feedback. This looks like a sweet place.

...and why would TDN = gay? Now I'm curious :p
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Old 06-12-2005, 03:33 PM   #5
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

probably the best interpretation ive heard of this song, very well done
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Old 06-13-2005, 12:03 PM   #6
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

goddamn
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Old 06-13-2005, 12:33 PM   #7
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

I enjoyed it. You're allowed to breed. Good work and Godspeed.
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Old 06-14-2005, 04:52 PM   #8
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

I liked what I read for the most part. I only read the first part for now. I may read more later. A few parts I kinda disagree with, but everyone has their own interpretation and that is fine with me.
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Old 06-17-2005, 10:21 PM   #9
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

That was enjoyable. By the last few paragraphs, and the mention of the final stanzas, I got goosebumps just from thinking of the feeling that that song riles up in me.
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Old 06-19-2005, 06:46 PM   #10
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ming
I enjoyed it. You're allowed to breed.
Post of the month
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Old 06-20-2005, 12:53 PM   #11
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

one of my favorite songs from them, when he says
"It will end no other way
It will end no other way "

it as if he doesnt even prounounce the words, but you still know the message he is saying and its clear.

great job on the explanation there man, thumbs up :D
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Old 07-15-2005, 09:42 PM   #12
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

Can I use it for an essay? :-D
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Old 03-15-2006, 04:59 PM   #13
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

whoa this is great man, best interpretation I've read so far, kinda pinpoints my own too
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Old 07-03-2008, 08:27 AM   #14
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Re: A long and boring rant about why Tool is great

I know this is a really old post, but this essay inspired me to look up the Salival version of Pushit. It's probably their most beautiful song. Maynard's voice is just, god... It made me teary-eyed.

Great interpretation too.
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