Burrito

I actually wrote this on Sunday (the day after the show) but getting signed up on this forum is like trying to get into Fort Knox ... what with all the confirmation I had to go through....good thing my finger prints arrived safely.

Anyway, obviously everything I have to say has been said but my twist is still worth reading :P

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Very good show indeed. In fact the whole thing just sorta worked out and fell onto a silver platter for me. I didn’t get my tickets until Friday afternoon (from ticketmaster) and somehow I ended up with pit tickets…go figure. So I arrive about 40 minutes late, get my tickets from the auto ticket dispensing machine, wait for my buddy to show up, jump in line, hit the head, walk down to the pit and the second I get there, they start into Stinkfist…timing couldn’t have been better. I worked my way to just left of center stage with about 5 people between me and the railing. Very awesome location, I really got to see Adam work his magic on the axe.

It hadn’t really sunk in where I was (how close) and how completely awesome the show was going to be until Stinkfist ended. By the time my brain started to process and register, the fucking cocksprocket bottle thrower pulled his shit and provided an immediate and overwhelming buzz-kill to everything going on. Maynard threw the mic stand down with some authority, stormed off stage and all I could think was…damn it, there goes the perfect evening. As mentioned before, it was kinda cool to hear the rest of The Pot instrumental, but forty-six and two was one of the songs that I really, really wanted to see / hear (along with Lateralus, Eulogy (I know not on this tour…but one can wish), and Wings/10,000 days). I was sorely disappointed at what transpired.

When Maynard returned, as one poster above mentioned, he very visibly had a large welt on the front right side of his head (did I mention that I somehow got pit tickets???...oh yeah I guess I did). When forty-six and two started he just stood at the back of the stage with his hands clasped together using his index fingers (kinda like the old church steeple thing you’d do when you were a kid), extending and retracting them to the rhythm of the song. While vaguely entertaining, that’s not what I wanted to see, especially on that song. At least he did chime in at the apex which provided a nice hair raising sensation on the back of my neck.

Speaking of that hair raising sensation, there are two spots on the 10,000 days album where I feel it every single time I listen to them… it never fails, it’s as consistent as my paying my taxes on April 14th but unfortunately I didn’t get either of them at this show. The first is in Jambi when Maynard is singing ‘so I….I…..I…..I would, I would, I would wish it all away’. The guitar in that section of the song is surreal and causes the aforementioned hair-neck-rising-sensation phenomenon. The other is in ‘Vicarious’ at the end when Maynard sings out ‘Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies…’ but alas, he did not sing it. People are chalking it up to the fact he was sick, I on the other hand am leaning more toward an ill-feeling he developed by virtue of the bottle-throwing-cockjockey.

The rest of the show was absolutely amazing. When I heard Lateralus winding up, I pulled out my cell phone to get a vid (albeit only 15 seconds) of the first clash, but like the jackhole that I am, I closed my phone and didn’t save it (uughh!)….I guess I was just too excited about Lateralus.

My throat has been on fire all day from screaming so much last night. I’m pretty sure it’s due to the fact that I’m no longer a young 20 year old buck….no instead I’m a 31 year old old-man with one foot in the grave.

One last note to scribe which was the parking lot exit strategy: I got to my car to begin the most amazing hurry-up-and-wait experience known to human kind. I was parked in the dirt lot all the way on the far south side of the venue. The gate through which I entered was on the far west side of that lot, so naturally one would think that would be a gate through which one could exit… right? The answer, made obvious by my sarcastic tone, is a resounding no and here’s my theory as to why. I’m nearly certain that the piece of shit who threw the bottle at Maynard rushed out of the show and padlocked the gate shut just to further piss the rest of the show-goers off….grrr! Back to the lot exiting strategy: So I’m sitting in my car waiting in the exact same spot for 32 minutes when finally, movement, strangely enough however, it’s headed in the direction of the locked gate. I wasn’t really sure how or why, but I was elated at the fact that my tires had made a full 360 degree revolution and didn’t give a shit so I pushed in the direction of gate lock-ed-ness. After another 36 minutes I made it far enough that I had a vantage point to see what was happening. Someone had cut the wire on the exterior border of the lot and people were driving right over the hill and curb onto the road….and I’m talking about little pos hatchbacks and shit, very amusing stuff to say the least. So my turn finally comes to make this boldy aggressive move over the hill and wouldn’t you know it, two event staff chumps come and stop all forward progression. Here’s my theory as to why: They were alerted by the cocksmoking, bottle-throwing, padlock securing fawkhead just to piss off the rest of the show-goers. By this time I was at the end of my rope with patience though (which tends to happen when you’re a 31 year old geriatric person), and I elected to make this bold move even bolder by skirting right past the event chumps and busting right through.

All and all, a very eventful evening and a great time. Not the best show I’ve ever seen, but Jane’s Addiction in Las Vegas set the bar very high. I would go out on a limb and say that Tool is a better band and I enjoy their music more than JA, but JA really put on a great show.

Thanks Tool for coming, and please do return!