Quote:
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Originally Posted by LEARN.2.SWiM
one of my newer songs, plz some feedback:
It's getting a little cold in here
The ghost is getting near
Well i wish that he'd just dissapear
Or go away from here
And everytime the ghost
Takes another look at me
I'm winded and i choke
And now ill never be the same
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Out of curiosity what are you considering these lines? Some types of Bridges? I am guessing you have at least 3 main riffs? Verse, Chorus, Bridge? Bridge?, Verse, Chorus right?
I think the Idea/concept along with the content is good. The only thing that didn't work for me in the lyrics was "The Ghost" refrences. I have no Idea why but it just seems that something else...describing the same thing would fit better to me..IMHO......
Also is there any thing else to the Chorus...repeats of "Just Go" etc?