ROSETTA STONED- Maynard James Keenan ---- The Rosetta Stone was the key to the Egyptian
hieroglyphs. Stoned refers to drugs.
Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi, DMT ---------DMT is the strongest hallucinogen known to man.
And a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose
just outside of Area 51 -----------A reference to the supposed UFO crash site in America
Contemplating
the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky, like

One would hope but never really expect ----He did not expect what was coming to him.
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...

Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being, --------------------------------The first of many TV references.
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa ------------------------------Chig is the name of an alien race from
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent the TV show Space: Above and Beyond
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel and Champa is Asian food.
And hovered above my bug-eyes,
my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was,
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice --------Uncle Martian was a character in an old that I pissed my fuckin' pants." TV series called “My Favourite Martian”

So light in this way
Like an apparition, [that] --------------------Disbelief faced with the alien.
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry --------------- Reference to the Grateful Dead, notorious for
The blotter got [right] on top of me their use of LSD, which is otherwise known as
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!" “blotter”.

And after calming me down
with some orange slices --------------------Reference to Maynard’s own childhood?
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One? ---------------------------Disbelief and amazement that he should
They chose me!!! be chosen.
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school. -- Why would he be chosen, he
wonders.
You'd better listen. ---------------------------------A grim piece of advice.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes --------------som•nif•er•ous –adjective To bring or induce
Don't even know what that means sleep.
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away ------------Reference to another drug trip?
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me ----Character feels like nothing exciting ever
happens to him, he feels uncertain of what to do.
I can't breathe right now! -----------Breathing difficulties; drugs or panic?





It was so real, -----------------------------Expressing doubts as to whether he was on drugs or not.
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone ----------------He is scared and alone faced with this mission.
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents? ------Under the influence of psilocybin, speech sounds like that
Will I ever be coming down? Charlie Brown’s parents in the cartoon Peanuts; difficult to
This is so real understand.
Finally, it's my lucky day -------------Sarcasm or irony?
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me --Repition of earlier sentiment.

I can't breathe right now! --------------He is in a hospital, maybe he is having a panic attack.

You believe me, don't you? --------------A real desire to be believed.
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring --------------The Grateful Dead, see above.
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand --------They; more than one alien, but only one is mentioned
And invited me right in. prior to this.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin. -----What was it? No other reference is made to it.

Strapped down [to] my bed ------------This comes after a long musical interlude. He has been
Feet cold [and] eyes red to the psychiatric ward and is strapped to a bed. He is
I'm out of my head confused and probably sedated. Tragically, he can’t
Am I alive? Am I dead? remember what the alien said to him.
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed. -------And apparently, he has become incontinent.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. --Here he describes his feelings in a very
Such a heavy burden now to be the One moving and emotional passage. He accepts
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending, his mission, it seems.
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen -----------------------------------------But the trivial human factor comes into
Shit the bed again ... play, and possibly dooms us all. He feels
Typical. like he has let everyone down, again.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sun kissed and Sudafed -------------------------------Back in his bed, grounded with the weight
Gyroscopes and infrared of his misfortune; he feels he is beyond help.
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said --------------------------Reiterates his memory loss, but he wants to
God damn, shit the bed remember.

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Can't remember what they said --------------------------His memory loss is really affecting his mind
Bob help me! and he calls for his assumedly absent friend
Can't remember what they said Bob for help.

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12) --------We, the human race, don’t know what the
alien said, and we won’t know because the
God damn, shit the bed! character can’t remember, although before
He was strapped down, he could remember,
he just didn’t say