Thread: 5400 seconds.
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Old 08-22-2006, 11:37 AM   #3
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Re: 5400 seconds.

I agree with Wild Goose. I think it's too wordy. When I read poems that are too wordy, it sometimes appears that the author had an idea, but they didn't think it was strong enough so they added more and more words to make it sound more "deep".

I know that's just an assumption, and might not be the case here. It's hard for the reader to get wrapped into it if every other word they have to stop and figure out what you're saying. In order for a poem to be deep, it does not need to have very complicated words. I'm not suggesting you use extremely simple words, but perhaps it's more effective to use smaller words which have a more powerful meaning to them. I'm not sure, maybe its just me.

I do, however, like the use of repetition.
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