The Tool Page: Opinion - View Single Post

Quote:

Originally Posted by EyesOfAFallenAngel

I love the rhythm, and the subtle rhyming.

I especially love this:
They teach you, they tell you, they hold you,
They clutch you tight- and crying.
They scold you, they grow you, they scar you,
They limit your sight- while smiling.
They condone and condemn, bred into sanctions and sins,
Controlled by their warmth, their fear, their blood in your skin

Great flow and timing. Seems to come very natural, not forced. Very, very well done.

I really like how throughout the poem, you changed the form. It works very well.

Thanks, I'm glad I finally posted something here, where someone noticed my deliberate timing/rhythm. I really appreciate the praise from you guys on this one, because I too, have been in a funk(writers block) lately, and this was something I felt extremely pleased with.

P.S. It's a song. Thus the timing. I envisioned it as 2-3 parts. I should have a second part soon, and if any of you are interested, I will post it. My best friend up in NoCal is getting a pro-tools set-up soon, and asked me to start coming up with lyrics.(He's a badass guitar player). I'm pretty excited to see what he comes up with for this lyric.

Thanks again, for the comments.