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Level 10 - Vehement
Join Date: May 2004
Location: California girl living in West Texas.
Posts: 2,154
Bincount™: 3227
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Re: Inheritance
I love the rhythm, and the subtle rhyming.
I especially love this:
They teach you, they tell you, they hold you,
They clutch you tight- and crying.
They scold you, they grow you, they scar you,
They limit your sight- while smiling.
They condone and condemn, bred into sanctions and sins,
Controlled by their warmth, their fear, their blood in your skin
Great flow and timing. Seems to come very natural, not forced. Very, very well done.
I really like how throughout the poem, you changed the form. It works very well.
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Do you serve a purpose? or purposely serve?
+1 Eoafa. end thread/ -Kelly
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