06-13-2006, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted by bellamadia
I posted on here prior but didn’t have the time to really elaborate. I’m feeling inspired…
Within the last 2 years I have been experiencing chronic pain all over my body. I have been to 6-8 doctors and yet no one can give me an explanation as to why. They just say try exercise (which I do) and take pain pills (which I have issue with) According to science, there is nothing “wrong” with me, yet I hurt so bad by the end of the day that I am in tears. I am generally a pretty happy person, I don’t wallow in my own sadness, I am reflective, I am motivated… but this pain has really been getting in my head and feels like a giant cloud of smoke suffocating me. On my way home from work I blast Parabol & Parabola, The Patient, Reflection, and Gravity (APC) as example. I even have the lyrics on my computer screen wallpaper as a reminder. Listening to these songs are sometimes the only thing that helps me to stay strong, to not break into tears everyday, to have faith that I can get through this, that I can handle it.
The combination of the chronic pain, TOOL lyrics, a wise doctor and a couple of good books by Dr. Sarno, I have really been inspired to take the time to explore my spirituality. While I know my pain is real, I accept that some of it may be a result of subconscious anger or anxiety. I have been looking within myself to find possible causes of these subconscious feelings. TOOL helped me realize that my doubts in my religion/faith are a big part of what was causing subconscious anxiety. I learned to “open my third eye” (not through drugs though) and get in touch with the world beyond my preconceived notions, beyond what I have been told, what was forced on me, what society tells me. Beyond the surface of the conscious mind. I was finally able to accept my attitude about religion without the guilt that Catholicism burned into me for 27 years. I felt myself rising above and out of the fog that religion puts around you. I am now comforted and confident, for the first time, with where I am spiritually and much of that was because of TOOL. The feeling is SO LIBERATING.
I finally am on the right path. TOOL has helped me to learn how to be patient on this path. I know that this path will never end, that I will always be on it. I am not free of pain, but I may never be. At this point I have to learn how to manage/deal with it and TOOL plays an important role in this.
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Well, I don't know if you'll ever be free of the physical pain that haunts you, (and I certainly hope you will), but of the pain of existence you can never run from. It's so ironic, Tool says, "Pain is an illusion", while Live says, "Pain lies on the riverside, so put your feet, head, soul in the water; join me for a swim tonite!!!"
I love them both.
06-13-2006, 06:50 PM
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#116
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Banned.
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 7,004
Bincount™: 13310
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Re: How has Tool affected your outlook
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bellamadia
I posted on here prior but didn’t have the time to really elaborate. I’m feeling inspired…
Within the last 2 years I have been experiencing chronic pain all over my body. I have been to 6-8 doctors and yet no one can give me an explanation as to why. They just say try exercise (which I do) and take pain pills (which I have issue with) According to science, there is nothing “wrong” with me, yet I hurt so bad by the end of the day that I am in tears. I am generally a pretty happy person, I don’t wallow in my own sadness, I am reflective, I am motivated… but this pain has really been getting in my head and feels like a giant cloud of smoke suffocating me. On my way home from work I blast Parabol & Parabola, The Patient, Reflection, and Gravity (APC) as example. I even have the lyrics on my computer screen wallpaper as a reminder. Listening to these songs are sometimes the only thing that helps me to stay strong, to not break into tears everyday, to have faith that I can get through this, that I can handle it.
The combination of the chronic pain, TOOL lyrics, a wise doctor and a couple of good books by Dr. Sarno, I have really been inspired to take the time to explore my spirituality. While I know my pain is real, I accept that some of it may be a result of subconscious anger or anxiety. I have been looking within myself to find possible causes of these subconscious feelings. TOOL helped me realize that my doubts in my religion/faith are a big part of what was causing subconscious anxiety. I learned to “open my third eye” (not through drugs though) and get in touch with the world beyond my preconceived notions, beyond what I have been told, what was forced on me, what society tells me. Beyond the surface of the conscious mind. I was finally able to accept my attitude about religion without the guilt that Catholicism burned into me for 27 years. I felt myself rising above and out of the fog that religion puts around you. I am now comforted and confident, for the first time, with where I am spiritually and much of that was because of TOOL. The feeling is SO LIBERATING.
I finally am on the right path. TOOL has helped me to learn how to be patient on this path. I know that this path will never end, that I will always be on it. I am not free of pain, but I may never be. At this point I have to learn how to manage/deal with it and TOOL plays an important role in this.
|
Well, I don't know if you'll ever be free of the physical pain that haunts you, (and I certainly hope you will), but of the pain of existence you can never run from. It's so ironic, Tool says, "Pain is an illusion", while Live says, "Pain lies on the riverside, so put your feet, head, soul in the water; join me for a swim tonite!!!"
I love them both. |
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