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bellamadia's Avatar bellamadia
06-13-2006, 09:04 AM
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I posted on here prior but didn’t have the time to really elaborate. I’m feeling inspired…

Within the last 2 years I have been experiencing chronic pain all over my body. I have been to 6-8 doctors and yet no one can give me an explanation as to why. They just say try exercise (which I do) and take pain pills (which I have issue with) According to science, there is nothing “wrong” with me, yet I hurt so bad by the end of the day that I am in tears. I am generally a pretty happy person, I don’t wallow in my own sadness, I am reflective, I am motivated… but this pain has really been getting in my head and feels like a giant cloud of smoke suffocating me. On my way home from work I blast Parabol & Parabola, The Patient, Reflection, and Gravity (APC) as example. I even have the lyrics on my computer screen wallpaper as a reminder. Listening to these songs are sometimes the only thing that helps me to stay strong, to not break into tears everyday, to have faith that I can get through this, that I can handle it.

The combination of the chronic pain, TOOL lyrics, a wise doctor and a couple of good books by Dr. Sarno, I have really been inspired to take the time to explore my spirituality. While I know my pain is real, I accept that some of it may be a result of subconscious anger or anxiety. I have been looking within myself to find possible causes of these subconscious feelings. TOOL helped me realize that my doubts in my religion/faith are a big part of what was causing subconscious anxiety. I learned to “open my third eye” (not through drugs though) and get in touch with the world beyond my preconceived notions, beyond what I have been told, what was forced on me, what society tells me. Beyond the surface of the conscious mind. I was finally able to accept my attitude about religion without the guilt that Catholicism burned into me for 27 years. I felt myself rising above and out of the fog that religion puts around you. I am now comforted and confident, for the first time, with where I am spiritually and much of that was because of TOOL. The feeling is SO LIBERATING.

I finally am on the right path. TOOL has helped me to learn how to be patient on this path. I know that this path will never end, that I will always be on it. I am not free of pain, but I may never be. At this point I have to learn how to manage/deal with it and TOOL plays an important role in this.

Last edited by bellamadia; 06-13-2006 at 09:14 AM..
Old 06-13-2006, 09:04 AM   #113
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Re: How has Tool affected your outlook

I posted on here prior but didn’t have the time to really elaborate. I’m feeling inspired…

Within the last 2 years I have been experiencing chronic pain all over my body. I have been to 6-8 doctors and yet no one can give me an explanation as to why. They just say try exercise (which I do) and take pain pills (which I have issue with) According to science, there is nothing “wrong” with me, yet I hurt so bad by the end of the day that I am in tears. I am generally a pretty happy person, I don’t wallow in my own sadness, I am reflective, I am motivated… but this pain has really been getting in my head and feels like a giant cloud of smoke suffocating me. On my way home from work I blast Parabol & Parabola, The Patient, Reflection, and Gravity (APC) as example. I even have the lyrics on my computer screen wallpaper as a reminder. Listening to these songs are sometimes the only thing that helps me to stay strong, to not break into tears everyday, to have faith that I can get through this, that I can handle it.

The combination of the chronic pain, TOOL lyrics, a wise doctor and a couple of good books by Dr. Sarno, I have really been inspired to take the time to explore my spirituality. While I know my pain is real, I accept that some of it may be a result of subconscious anger or anxiety. I have been looking within myself to find possible causes of these subconscious feelings. TOOL helped me realize that my doubts in my religion/faith are a big part of what was causing subconscious anxiety. I learned to “open my third eye” (not through drugs though) and get in touch with the world beyond my preconceived notions, beyond what I have been told, what was forced on me, what society tells me. Beyond the surface of the conscious mind. I was finally able to accept my attitude about religion without the guilt that Catholicism burned into me for 27 years. I felt myself rising above and out of the fog that religion puts around you. I am now comforted and confident, for the first time, with where I am spiritually and much of that was because of TOOL. The feeling is SO LIBERATING.

I finally am on the right path. TOOL has helped me to learn how to be patient on this path. I know that this path will never end, that I will always be on it. I am not free of pain, but I may never be. At this point I have to learn how to manage/deal with it and TOOL plays an important role in this.

Last edited by bellamadia; 06-13-2006 at 09:14 AM..
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