To Summarise...


NOV 2000 NEWSLETTER

Q: When Aenima came out, I remember seeing Tool on vinyl at the record store. Was the acid really THAT good, or did I really see all three TOOL albums on one or two pieces of vinyl?

A: All were released on vinyl in America except for "BETHLEHEM ABORTION CLINIC" which was only released on vinyl in Europe and never released in CD format anywhere. See catalogue in import release of Aenima CD for details. That reminds me, someone recently (I think it was Staci) found a copy of Undertow on vinyl and said it contained "The Lord's Prayer" inscribed in the dead wax. If so, I didn't know that.


DEC 2001 NEWSLETTER

Q: I’ve heard that there are several Tool CDs that were released in Europe, but not in America. Is this true, and if so, how can I order them?

A: It is true. In the insert in the European version of Aenima there is a catalogue which lists these CDs. They include: "Three Fat Brown Fingers", "Nurse Ketimella’s Kit* Chen", "Just Up That Dirt Road (Tool Live at the Acropolis)", "The Bethlehem Abortion Clinic", "Crapsteaks smothered in Dictators" and "The Christmas Album by Tool." Someday I will tell you what makes ONE of these cds so special - something the band members don’t want anyone to know - though it’s there for discerning listeners. Perhaps I’ve said too much already.

* No Creed records were purchased by band members in order to experiment with playing them backwards.


OCT 2002 NEWSLETTER

Also, there was the thing about the mathematical formula encoded in the insert catalogue on the European issue of Aenima. Fortunately, nobody's figured that one out yet.


21st SEP 2006 NEWS POST

Here's what some are saying about LUSTMORD: RISING (LIVE 06.06.06): "Possibly the 'darkest' recording since Tool's Bethlehem Abortion Clinc (12134-66649-4)."


17th NOV 2006 NEWS POST

Better yet, maybe do something off of "Crapsteaks Smothered in Dictators", or "Nurse Ketimella's Kit*Chen", or "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic" or how about an early version of "Pushit" from "Just Up That Dirt Road: TOOL LIVE! at the Acropolis." Let's see them try that while the band isn't looking!


DEC 2007 NEWSLETTER

ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION
(from "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic")


JAN 2008 NEWSLETTER

My inclusion of the song “Abomination of Desolation” from the Tool album “Bethlehem Abortion Clinic” (listed in the catalogue/insert of the release of Aenima outside the United States) seemed to further this (erroneous) notion. Tool albums that might or might not exist on parallel earths aside, what a social experiment that title turned out to be, with nearly everyone believing it to contain a negative Xian message when it could just as easily be something to the contrary (yes, including being an anti-abortion statement).


MAR 2011 NEWSLETTER

Which brings us to the “holy grail” that I mentioned earlier. No, it’s not a cheap guitar signed hastily backstage by all four band members as part of some radio promo. It also doesn’t concern bizarre video props or some Xeroxed set-list that includes “The Grudge”, and which is also signed by Maynard (most likely fabricated). It’s not even the lyrics to a popular Tool song hand written on a Ralph’s grocery bag. No, this is something REALLY special. Are you ready? Suppose I was to tell you that there is a Tool song – recorded in a studio – that hasn’t been heard except for by a handful of people, and that virtually no one outside of the band (and a few others) is aware of its very existence? Keep in mind, this is not a cover (not the rumored “Crazy Train”), nor is it a glorified segue that never made it onto a record. This is an original full-blown Tool song complete with vocals and lyrics. The title of this tune is “Problem 8 (The Riemann Hypothesis)”, and it was recorded many years ago – so long ago, in fact, that I don’t remember who played bass, although I want to say it was Justin. The length is somewhere in the six-minute range (if my memory serves me correctly), but whatever it is, the exact time had something to do with the unsolved and mysterious nature of the title. Now, not only was the song professionally recorded; it was actually ‘issued’ in a manufactured medium (though I’m not going to say whether this was vinyl, a CD, or cassette tape). Because of the ingenious way it was made available to the public, “Problem 8” , in my opinion, constitutes the ultimate hidden track. Only, don’t go looking for it among your collection (most of you, that is!), as there are no more than 30 copies on the planet. As for those who have one, most, I’m sure, aren’t aware of it, even though it might be staring them right in the eye on a near daily basis. The reason they aren’t aware of it, is because they’d never think to play it. Okay, enough said…

And though it’s not that rare, the European version of the Aenima CD SHOULD BE of interest to collectors. Not because the disc contains the Goetic sigil of Furfur, or that it includes an insert catalog of spurious “other albums available by Tool”, but because the spoof catalog contains in itself true information that might be of great interest to certain fans of the band.


MAY 2012 NEWSLETTER

“Aenima” was the first Tool project that I was asked to contribute something to, although this was merely a small part of the art design for the import, which I collaborated on with Shep’s talented girlfriend. (Or… was she merely his roommate?) Another thing about the “Aenima” recording that I remember, was a plan devised at the loft to create the ultimate hidden track. This was inspired by the whole Klaatu/Beatles thing, but the problem of actually pulling it off would take a lot more thought.


30th JUN 2013 NEWS POST

The Picture shown is the European Aenima Artwork with Bethlehem Abortion Clinic in the centre


JULY 2013 NEWSLETTER

1)Of the dozen or so spoof Tool CDs included in the spurious catalog in the insert contained in the import (i.e. European) version of Aenima, one of them is actually real (meaning that it at least includes jam sessions by the band and various other recorded material). Though having never been released to the general public, about 30 copies were surreptitiously placed in various record stores in European cities (most of them in Poland) by members of the band and their crew during a tour over there. TRUE OR FALSE?

TRUE. But there is much more to this story – as I have been hinting at for years. Perhaps someday someone will finally figure it out, and before certain things become obsolete.