Prem Kala

I really miss the days of talking about Tool songs so I thought of sharing my interpretation of Undertow which came to me during a meditation retreat many years ago.

This interpretation could fit considering the fact that the members of Tool dive into some pretty esoteric, occult, or spiritual subjects but this may not be the bands intention. I still though find that seeing the song this way has a lot of meaning for me plus it motivates me to practice meditation more or to have a thirst for the truth of self.

Some of you may or may not understand as this is a bit esoteric, but I'll try to explain the best that I can.


Ok... So... There have been times in my life where I have had glimpses of stillness of mind or glimpses of truth. These glimpses are known as satoris in Japanese Zen Buddhism and they mainly happen after a period of time from practicing meditation. There are many depths in these glimpses, but at a great depth one sees that one is not the ego or the mind and it is the most euphoric experience. It is blissful because you are not weighed down by the attachment to ego.

In these glimpses though there is a thread which is still attached to ego so the glimpses are short lived and the identification with ego creeps back. The ego comes back because there is a tendency to cling onto whatever is familiar whenever this glimpse happens. Even though the identification with ego brings suffering it still is a familiar ground to stand on.

This glimpse of truth is like getting sucked into a vacuum or like getting sucked into an undertow. At first you are like, "Wow, oh my god, there is no me!" and its the most ultimate "Ah ha!!" eureka moment that anyone can have. But then you will start asking yourself: "OH!!... But if I'm not the mind or the ego then who or what am I?"... and as you fall deeper everything that you thought you knew to be you just starts shattering... It is like you are falling into an abyss and it feels like you are going to die...

Yes, this glimpse is blissful and yes, the truth is right here! But!!... This is death!... And when I'm talking about death here I'm not talking about physical death. I am talking about a death to the identification with ego and this is cutting something deeper than the physical... It is this point that every meditator or seeker strives for and it is at this point that it is the most difficult to let go, accept death, and fall into self realization.


I'll show how this fits into the song:



Well, the first time you have had the glimpse your whole life has changed. Once you get a glimpse of truth you don't want to be wallowing in the ego and identifying with something you are not. After the first glimpse, you have practiced meditation regularly and now this is the second glimpse.


It's hard to put it into words who's voice this is or what the voice is. If anything, the voice is truth or the voice is consciousness. When you have a satori it really is like truth is calling for you to go back. The voice is so much more real than your ego. You would like to follow the "voice of truth" than your ego.


The cold black water is consciousness. This is the unknown. It's emptiness. It is nothingness. No-thing-ness.... Again, it is hard to put it into words and you would have to experience this to understand..



The satori is a glimpse of heaven. Heaven is not some place up in the sky that you go to after you die. Heaven is available right here and right now. Heaven is egolessness or self realization.



It is beyond the mind. It is "beyond the lines of reason".



Silt is very rich soil for seeds to grow. You are a seed covered in the hard shell of ego and this voice is rich enough like silt to break that shell.



The center of being is undisturbed. If you were to enter the center of your being where you no longer identify as being the ego then how could anything disturb you?... Nothing can disturb you. Suffering comes from identifying with the ego and if you realize that you aren't the ego then all suffering ends.


This voice is calling from this undisturbed space.



This is exactly what happens in a satori.


In this moment you are turning in. You are looking in. That which is usually witnessing the outer world is now looking in at itself... The seer is looking in at the seer. It sweeps "you" away and the ego starts to drown. Truth, consciousness, or whatever you want to call it is surrounding and swallowing ego. It is shaking and shattering your attachment to ego.



Here is the moment where you are starting to have second thoughts. You are entering the deep abyss of the unknown. The rug which you felt so comfortable standing on for so long is now being pulled from underneath you. That rug is all that you know and if that rug goes, then what?




Ok, NOW this is the point where it is realized that the ego has to be let go and this is like death. This voice just can't be heard anymore and if anymore is heard then death will surely come. "I can't let this go! Who or what am I without my precious ego!?"



In this line, Maynard chose to use the word "saturating" and its very significant because it is commonly used specifically by Christians. For example, I've heard Christians say, "Saturate yourself with the word of God" and that SORT of relates with this...


Yet, the best place where I've seen this word used and where it relates most with this interpretation is in the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra. The Vigyan Bhairav Tantra has 112 meditation techniques and the 94th technique is this: "Feel your substance, flesh, blood, bones, saturated with the cosmic essence".


Here, one is saturated by the cosmic essence but there is resistance. (The resistance can also be heard by the smashing of the cymbals in the song. It sounds like one is struggling to get out of the water.)



One needs to get back to the familiar space of ego. At least being knee deep feels safe on the shallow end.


...


Now at this part of the song you are back to being knee deep in the water again.


The guitar riff is the same as it was in the beginning of the song and it just gives a feeling like, "Oh, great, here I am again back to being attached to ego like a fool... How could I have not just faced this, surrendered, and let go?... I now got to start over from the beginning... again!"

...


You continued in your meditation practice and are at least a lot more aware of what you are getting yourself into... Now you are back again for the third time.



You just can't get enough of that voice. All that you dream and think about is reaching or being in that space of truth again.



It's getting you closer to self realization. Just a leap more will take you there.



Truth can not be attained by reasoning. You can't reach truth by thinking about it. Truth or self realization happens in a state of no mind.



Cold water wakes you up and to the ego it appears black. It is mysterious and there is fear of the unknown.



I can relate with this frustration because on one side you would like the truth and on the other side its just so difficult to let go of the ego. You would just like the truth to set you free from ego. You would like to just "die" already. You have seen that the ego is insignificant and you would like to sacrifice yourself to truth.



In that glimpse, in that state of no-mind, in that state where you are aware of the truth of self- it is euphoric. Nothing else can compare to the bliss... This is what is called "Sat Chit Anand". This is "Truth, Consciousness, and Bliss".



Building up to the end of the song, you are just going to let go and allow the "undertow" to take you. You are surrendering, accepting whatever will come, and letting go. All of your awareness is gathered to this point.


The best way out of an undertow is to just relax, to not struggle, and let it take you. In that letting go, you are swallowed in... but eventually by not resisting you will go back up to the surface. In this undertow you come back a different person and have reached moksha, liberation.