deuceman

Here's what happened:

Arrived with my brother at 7:30. We were only there to see Tool. Nobody else was gonna be holding a candle to them anyway. Found a good spot dead centre of blue (Tool) stage, not close but just a few rows back from the blue tent (those who were there will know the spot). Was never going to be perfect, but I figured we're both tall so we had an okay view and I thought we'd be close enough to get good sound.

Five mins to Tool and the wind was making it difficult to get a good burn going on my pipe. Dropping to one knee sorted that out. One massive cone later, I was ready. Big, wasted grin on face, water bottle in hand, staring straight ahead.

Stinkfist opens. No surprise to anybody on here who read the setlists for other BDO shows. Personally I don't like this as an opener, actually would have happily gone without it since I've since it seen it live at the 4 previous Tool shows I've been to over the years. Great song, but just don't really need to keep hearing it live anymore.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to let it serve as an intro to what will only get better.

Then, shock and disgust registers: many of the people around me are singing along. WTF? It's great you love the lyrics so much, but I really want to hear Maynard sing them. After all, they're his, and he does them so much better (than you or I). Little Vicarious play on words, there. Yeah, I know, STFU deuceman.

Hoping the wannabe vocalists will tire of this silly shit, stupid shit, I try to block them out and zone back in.

Then, concern: a guy next to me, tall but not wide, appears to be freaking out. He's highly fucking agitated, not having a good time. He is speaking nervously to his girlfriend or girl friend, not sure which she was. "I have to sit down, I have to sit down," over and over, etc, etc. So he sits down at my feet, then after a short time lies on his side in a kind of feotal position. The girl is trying to calm him down. His mates, 3 guys of various sizes, don't appear to have any fucking idea what to do. So they do what everybody else does, which is try and watch 46 & 2.

This doesn't work very well because the guy freaking out is a distraction. The crowd is moving around too much, but they're moving nonetheless and this guy is going to get kicked, stepped on, whatever. Maybe not my problem, but he's right below me so if anybody is going to have to deal with what might come next it's me. Wonderful: I just love being in situations like this. (That was sarcasm).

People are still singing along and I thought the sound was actually really bad in this spot anyway. Not sure what others thought but Maynard's vocals kept cutting in and out. Must have been the sound people trying to get things adjusted correctly? Not sure.

Freak out dude isn't getting any better, so I asked one of his mates what was going on. "He's an epileptic," I'm told. I reply, "No way. I thought he was fucked up on acid or some kind of pills." Then the girl says, "No, he's epileptic. He's never had a problem like this at concerts but I think the crowd and lights and music are all too much for him."

I told his largest mate, who was about 6' 4" tall and 120 kilos (I am not shitting you), "You have to get him out of here. He needs the medics or some kind of help." The guy says, "Yeah, I know, but look behind us. There's too many people."

"Dude, you are a big motherfucker. You go in front and tell everyone you're mate needs help and they're gonna have to move, you know?" He shakes his head. "Nah, I can't do it, man." I'm disappointed. These guys are quite a bit younger than me, maybe early 20's, but they're all frozen and incapable of doing anything. Oh, and 46 & 2 is still playing, but that's become a side show instead of the main attraction. Which is a shame, really.

Ahh, I'll be here all night. Okay, condensed version. I said to my brother, a big bald dude wearing wraparound sunnies and a white tee shirt, "The sound here is shit and this guy's in a bad way. Let's get him out of here, get him some help, and then try and find a place where the sound is better." He agrees. But before I do this I have to - actually, want to - smoke another cone, so I do that. Now I'm much better prepared to deal with things, and of course enjoy the experience in a heightened manner.

So I talk to the freaking out dude and tell him and the girl we'll get them out if she goes in front and we get on either side with our arms around him and help him out of there. He says "I can't." Actually, he says this many times, so I just kept talking to him, tried to calm him down, and then he was okay with it, apart from the lights, which seemed to be his major concern. I told him to keep looking at the ground, we'd deal with looking where we're going, and he could just walk out with us. I felt really sorry for him at this stage. He seemed like a decent guy whose night had gone horribly wrong.

To the credit of everybody behind us, people were quick to move and create a path for us. Much better than expected. Thanks to all or any of you who saw it happen and moved out of the way. We got him about halfway to the gates near the licensed (alcohol) area, then the conclusion of 46 & 2 kicked in: the real heavy final guitar notes and drumbeats that slice through.

This guy's entire body starts jerking massively in perfect time to these notes. They ripple right through into me. Weirdest fucking thing I've felt in my life. Being stoned only heightens the whole thing, of course. Was actually very cool / scary / intense / adrenaline rush experience.

The poor guy couldn't go any further, so we had to let him drop to the ground again as Jambi started to play. After talking calmly to him while Jambi's playing (not that I'm hearing much of it), he is okay to go again, so we get him the rest of the way to the entrance for licensed area. Borther tells security, I'm leaning over the dude who needs help, and then three security apes grab me, drag me out of the way, and say, "Security. Get the fuck away from him. Mind your own business". Or words to that effect. For a change I was clever enough to keep my mouth shut and just blow the whole thing off. They didn't know I'd helped him, they were trying to get in and help him out themselves, so their intentions were good.

Luckily for me right at this point Jambi got into the real heavy part just prior to Adam's freaky voice-box guitar thingy. So stood there and enjoyed that and the rest of Jambi. Then we moved into the licensed area, which wasn't too packed, but we were a fairly long way back and the sound was complete shite. I think the wind was gusting too much and Maynard's vocals were just getting carried away, floating in and out. Plus there were a lot of moron drinking piss, talking loudly, walking past us, and their lack of interest and consideration made it a shitty spot.

Something funny happened while we were there, though: I noticed that the people in the crowd who simply have no fucking knowledge of most (if not all) of Tool's songs would cheer and applaud when Schism went really quiet, because they thought it was over! Morons! They did the same for Rosetta, which I thought sounded okay except for the location we were in.

After that we moved back to centre blue stage, little bit in front of the big V can. Sounds was better here, though still wind issues, I thought.

Swamp Song was performed well, but being the bitch I am I wanted The Pot so badly. Wasn't to be and would have been a major surprise if they had played it. Oh well, November, I hope.

Lateralus, Vicarious, and Aenema were superb, IMHO. Read some other reviews of earlier show(s) that said these last 3 almost flowed together and were the standouts. Have to agree.

During the last "Hey, hey, heys" we walked quickly to the train platform, got in the front row near the tracks, and caught the first train out. Fucking nailed our escape plan! Was the perfect ending. No delays and consequently no bullshit to deal with when patience wears thin from having to wait, and wait, and wait, for a spot on the next train.

In summary: I thought all 4 of the guys gave it 100%. They all played superbly and threw themselves into it. Maynard movements were great, he seemed to really put a lot into this show. I am humbled at my earlier bitchings about dropping vocals, not appearing to be interested, etc. From what I could hear he did all the challenging vocal shouts, screams, growls, whatever you want to call them, and came through really well. Didn't seem to have any difficulties or issues.

So all credit to the band, as professional as always. Unfortunately it was external factors that made this a less than stellar show for me. The outdoor venue, with gusting winds fucking up the sound, the crowd, which I thought were better than expected (apart from the wannabe singers, conversationalists, drunken twats who lack balance, and usual assortment of dropkicks and losers), and the other distractions (no malice towards the epileptic guy. I really hope he's okay), spoiled the performance for me.

Bring on November, and please let it be an indoor show. I'm getting top dollar seats, top notch weed, and just gonna sit there all messed up and absorb the whole thing. The 4 other shows I've been to over the years were all indoor and, for me, were greatly superior.

But not putting any shit on Tool (pardon the pun). I thought they gave it their very best.