hreems

This is my 5th Tool show since 1997. The problem with a band like Tool is that they are so outrageously good that they keep setting the bar higher for themselves. Eventually, they just aren’t going to be able to live up to previous shows, and I hate to say it but tonight the concert fell a bit short of my lofty expectations.

Let’s start with the positive aspects of the concert. Without a doubt, the set list was a dream come true. Basically they gave us their entire new album as the main course, with some old standbys sprinkled in for dessert. As much as I love the song “Sober”, I was perfectly happy to see it get sacrificed for the greater good of the show. Seeing 10K was just as amazing as everyone else described, and during Rosetta Stoned we got a full on sing-along with “But I forgot my pen, Shit the Bed Again!” And Jambi is the BEST live song every…fucking awesome.

My main problem with this concert probably has more to do with the venue than anything else. As we all know, Tool relies heavily of mixing their visuals in with their music to provide the viewer with a full on audio/visual orgasm that leaves him pleasantly numb. When I came into the Staples center before the show and saw that HUGE black curtain hanging behind the stage, I got really excited imagining what would get projected onto it. Or maybe what was behind it? Much to my dismay, it was not utilized at all. Besides the paltry 5 foot screens on the stage, I was forced to crane my neck to the scoreboard to see the visuals. Is that a Tool video or did Kobe just score 81? Fuck if I know because I couldn’t see it.

To their credit, they tried to supplement with lasers, but I just wasn’t buying it. I went to a cool laser show in the 80s when I was a kid, but that was the only time because I quickly learned that LASER SHOWS SUCK! And what the fuck happened with all of those lighters? I know people were trying to entice them into an encore, but LIGHTERS? I was fucking embarrassed. This is TOOL, not Journey or Motley Crue.

Maybe the lighters were there in a symbolic gesture to give the band some energy. They just seemed plain tired to me. Shit, look at their schedule and it’s easy to understand why. After the fact I hear that Maynard has been sick, which I guess serves as somewhat of an excuse, but then again that could be the fault of the aggressive tour schedule. And even if you’re sick, just a little acknowledgement to the crowd would have been nice. Say something…anything to us. At least have the courtesy to call me a douchebag or a hippie.

Sorry, I’ll hop off my soapbox now and try to close on something positive. The simple fact is that a Tool concert is like pizza or a blowjob – even when it’s bad, it’s still good. And this show was far from bad…it just didn’t inspire me quite as much as past performances. They are still the best band in the world and I will continue to support them in every way shape and form. I just hope that the next concert is at a better venue.

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"Grease me up, lassie!"

-GKW