Quote:
Originally Posted by wisefool
I like your revision. It seems developed and more precise.
A walk that starts with raucous
Then quiets to only the far away clamber of mindless industry
Sounds whisk by like a drowned out streamer
As the center becomes more still and
separate from an apparent shell;
a demarcation as subtle
and equally palpable as the silk of a spider.
Is it vogue and is it helping?
Quiet down now, for I am getting near
I see the mouth and I feel the rear.
Daily, I sensed your truth
as you noogied your knuckles
upon my consciousness; yet,
I could not find the joy in this. . .
I cannot find the joy in your game.
So I search for it elsewhere, falsely
I close my eyes
and propel inwards
atop the waves
of your vibrational
knead that gives me
such chaos.
At least I hear your knocking.
And now, going inside, I can float around the out
where the rubbing is quiet and I can take joy
in this insanity.
I like this trip Lateralus. I don't know exactly the direction you are going, but I know what I get from it. Wonderful depth and seamless parallels between nature and the natural mind.
Keep on feeding the beast.
|
I wasn't either, but as I wrote it I pictured myself just casually walking along somewhere, anywhere, so of course I chose something that could be mysterious like a forest or the woods. So you're walking along daydreaming or whatnot, but then you trip and stumble off the road, you see an opening in the trees and you venture in out of curiosity only to stumble upon someone's hiding spot.
Maybe this is an actual location, maybe it's a state of mind, maybe this is coincidentally someone you know. I don't know. But you look in and you see them and the "haven" they've found for themselves, where they were certain no one else could reach them.
You get a glimpse of what's actually going on within that individual, in this case a person who is losing grip on either natural law morality/sanity related things, they notice you're there and they get defensive(teeth claws), because you're seeing what they don't want you to see, you're standing on claimed lands they've sought out to hide or express these truths that are about themselves, to themselves alone.
That's the basic idea I had in my head.
I like how you put that together on a whim, but it moreso describes you or the person you are representing: It's like you're describing the person who is going to that very particular spot, for those very particular reasons.