View Full Version : Time to join the club, I suppose ...
Chris_Brightwell
08-21-2003, 10:22 PM
This is a track that I recorded back in the summer of '99.
My friends and I were in a "band," which was really just all of our equipment piled into a friend's basement and plugged into a small network of computers.
We did a lot of industrial/synth rock. I played guitar, synth, and some basic drum riffs. We produced over fifty hours of music.
Then, on one fateful day, their house got struck by lightning. Luckily, we all had a habit of unplugging our amps and shit when we left, but we left the computers on. In a sick twist of fate, all of them died.
All I have is this one Windows Media file of a song that I started but never finished, and here it is. I wrote, recorded, produced, and mixed it.
I'm playing live guitar, live drums, and "singing" live vocals. The rest of it is all synthesized with this incredible synth that one of the parents in the group bought for us to use.
I don't know what the vocals are, but I didn't write them. I read them from some notes/scribbles/etc that were on top of the synth while I was playing the bass part, because I hadn't actually written any lyrics yet. If you recognize them and can tell me where they came from, that would rock.
I'm considering buying a small midi controller and giving this music thing a try, and that's where you all come in. This is a poll (I'm a mod. I can do that.), so rate the track.
If I get more good than bad, I'll definitely pickup the controller and try again.
If I get more bad than good, who knows what'll happen.
Enough rambling. Time for a link.
http://cdb.webhop.org/temp/brightwell_-_untitled.wma
Enjoy.
Tantobourne
08-21-2003, 11:02 PM
*tosses a couple coins into your guitar case*
Stay hungry man.
Just kidding. That was really good. If you had a CD of stuff in that vein I'd buy it and rotate it on my winamp. I don't know shit about music but as far as tweaks, I'd say tone down the intensity of the hi-hat, it's sounds tinny. That and soften the kick drum and bring up the vocals. It makes me want to get more gear to play with.
Divine_left
08-22-2003, 03:10 AM
I agree with Tantobourne. You've got something with great potential here, seriously. You just need a little sound tweakage. The only thing I'd suggest is to soften up the drums a little(it makes them less 'tinny' and more powerful), and maybe work on the distortion on that guitar part, it's a little weak. Everything else, the pianos and the string synths, sound great.
Good job!
Paladin
08-22-2003, 05:24 AM
wow, this was a fucking sweet song... i like the the mixing on the drums, it seems to work out in the mix to me...excellent work sir, I do enjoy.
elevate
08-22-2003, 09:55 AM
It was sounding pretty nice until the drums kicked in. Sounds like a mixing or EQ issue to me, but they don't "gel" with the rest of the sounds, at least to my ears. The guitars are kinda the same way - almost like they were added on top of a preexisting piece of music. There's dynamics issues as well, like at 1:49, the sound just drops off, when it seems like it should explode. I'd say leave the synths in with the guitar (if that will work), cut off some of the very high end of the guitar and then raise its level. The vocals actually sounded real nice - they sit in the mix well, though I think a bass rolloff and a small increase in the level would make it sound better.
What did you use to create the beats?
[edit]
Ok, those were live drums? Sounds like a programmed beat.
holy reality
08-22-2003, 11:41 AM
I for one liked the drums a lot.
What I didn't like was the EQing job.
becuase with my eq turned off I came under the impression that I must have suffered bad hearing damage.... I had to tweak stuff... it sounded good with the mids peaked, treble up past halfway, and bass slightly below halfway
but this is just windows media player's eq
it was really cool though and mellow... i liked it
but it would have been even more righteous if it transitioned into something really heavy at the end, perhaps another song? i don't know.
Chris_Brightwell
08-23-2003, 09:50 PM
Cummon, guys.
Nearly 5,000 members and I get five responses and seven votes out of nearly 100 views?
Surely more than seven of you downloaded the song.
And, for what it's worth, thanks for the comments. Should I try to reproduce this song (which is likely), I'll definitely keep them in mind when I'm reworking it. :)
Elgyn
08-24-2003, 01:21 AM
Listening to it now..
I haven't read any of the other replies, so this is straight from the heart. At first I find the drums a little harsh, but when the guitar kicks in, they're more balanced. There's a nice working of tension in between the err (chorus'?), at least the vocal sections. I have trouble hearing the vocals at times, but they work in well with the rest of the song. Nice synth, damn that sounds smooth. I like the ending where all other instruments stop and its just the light piano (thats what it sounds like to me), and the synth gently humming away in the background.
I liked the song, although I find it a bit frustrating that it didn't really have as much guts as I generally appreciate. By this I don't mean that I need a song to have tons of distortion just to give me that kick, I just mean a pick up in rhythmic elements such as more drumming action, and increased pace in melody. The rhythm remains very much the same throughout the song, and I guess it (along with the relatively low tempo) gives it a mournful feel.
Anyway, thats what I thought of your song. Overall I'd give it a good rating, since it is definately well put together (composed) and recorded. Btw, I like your voice, even though I can't really hear it that much.
Also, this part of the forum doesn't usually attract many replies, I wouldn't take it personally. You're doing better than most.
. . o O o . .
•Hąrbinger•
08-24-2003, 01:39 AM
Pick up the music controller, press start, and give it another go.
This is a good song with a lot of potential to be a great song. You should definitely try and expand upon where you left off, Chris.
The only thing I didn’t like about the song, besides the drums, was that there was no “real” climax. I say this because I think it would have made the song more empowering.
elevate
08-24-2003, 11:09 AM
And, for what it's worth, thanks for the comments. Should I try to reproduce this song (which is likely), I'll definitely keep them in mind when I'm reworking it. :)
Regardless of what people here think, if you want to make music then you should definitely do it.
Windir
08-25-2003, 07:59 AM
Whoa! That sound like a real challenge!
Sounds like:
... THE SOUND OF SILENCE ...
I can't hear a Damn thing!
deviatedwolf625
08-27-2003, 10:17 PM
The mixing needs some work, as said before, but I like it. The kick drum is fine, but the vocals really need to be brought up a lot.
Good work. Keep at it.
Johnny Truant
08-28-2003, 04:51 PM
the vocals are almost impossible to hear, but everything else if fine. I really like it, keep it up.
Tantobourne
08-28-2003, 05:02 PM
So Brightwell, what do you think of it?
deviatedwolf625
09-06-2003, 11:47 PM
Alright, after listening to it for a couple weeks, I like it still. It's very mellow, and it should transition into something heavier ...
As for the lyrics, I'm trying to figure them out.
And that was a great question Tant:
Come on brightwell, what's your response to all this? You picking it up again?
And also, I note Brightwell doesn't do a lot of posting in the way of feedback here ;) (just a suggestion though)
Chris_Brightwell
09-07-2003, 09:46 AM
[...] Come on brightwell, what's your response to all this? You picking it up again? [...]I haven't exactly decided yet. I'm hella busy with a handful of projects right now, so it will probably have to wait until sometime in October before I order a controller.
Thanks again for the positive comments, everyone. I'm actually shocked that *no one* has said that it sucked.
furiousgeorge
09-07-2003, 10:30 AM
they ph34r you and your m0d powers
deviatedwolf625
09-07-2003, 12:16 PM
Alright, I got bored, and I figured out the lyrics.
It's one verse, repeated.
This is as close as I can get it.
Inside my heart
The world comes down
And search for truth brings
The moment’s down
This <fade?> inside of me
Is screaming to come round
Hope that helps?
ImACarnation
09-07-2003, 02:08 PM
Alright, I got bored, and I figured out the lyrics.
It's one verse, repeated.
This is as close as I can get it.
Inside my heart
The world comes down
And search for truth brings
The moment’s down
This <fade?> inside of me
Is screaming to come round
Hope that helps?
I too am suffering from boredom, so here's my crack at it
"Inside my head
The world comes down
I search for truth
But none is found
This pain inside of me
Is screaming to come out"
I think this is pretty damn accurate but I could wrong.
By the way, very cool song.. could be better but I think everyone's mentioned what could be fixed.
nthistogether
10-31-2003, 09:07 PM
I'd like to hear this, but the link is broken, yo.
Chris_Brightwell
11-01-2003, 12:55 AM
I'd like to hear this, but the link is broken, yo.
Should be fixed in a couple of minutes.
Try again.
Thrakandor
11-01-2003, 05:54 AM
I know zilch about criticism from the technical side of things, but I really liked it. I think it actually suited not having a full break-out into heaviness - as was stated above, it gives it a mournful feel, but that song - or something resulting from it being redone - stuck on the end of an album would definitely give the whole thing the feel of a requiem. I really liked it - do you listen to NIN? Some parts sounded rather reminiscient. I do like your voice - it suited the song very well. If you decide to remaster it, or redo it, or whatever, I would advocate against actually bringing the volume of the vocals up - perhaps increase the clarity, but their subdued feel fit nicely with it overall.
The initial drum-roll (or whatever it's called) at about 1:33 I thought was a bit too energetic - and now that I listen again, the whole break-out at about 1:47 I thought was a bit rushed - I don't know how to fix that, as I say, I'm not a composer, but I'd guess that you'd draw the drum-roll out a little more before the distortion kicks in?
Very impressed though. More. Now.
Seven Deep
11-02-2003, 12:42 PM
From the technical and engineering side, there's a ton of things I could suggest to you, (although I realize your working with just your amps , synths , and a few computers) You might find these suggestions to be a little bit on the nit-picking side, but thats what we engineers are for.
- Your stereo space is a little lacking. Everything except that crash cymbal seemed to be pointed dead centre. Move a couple things around by a few degrees on the pan knobs or add a little (a LITTLE) delay to the piano and strings to add some dimension to the mix (but leave all low end sounds in the middle)
- There was a lot of low frequency rattle on the bass synth. I think someone mentioned it already, but try a soft curved bass rolloff or high-pass filter around 100-150 Hz. On it's own the bass sounded okay, but once the kick drum comes in, they both start to compete with each other and it gets a little muddy.
- The guitar almost sounds too "nice" That might just be my personal taste, but it's almost like the guitar sounds lazy, and doesnt really add any energy to the mix. Try boosting it by 3 or 4dB at 5kHz (and cut 1 or 2 around 600 Hz), and then double it on another track....(actually recording another track of the same part is ideal) then pan these at equal 30% opposites to each other. A >little< reverb to tie it in with the strings is needed too.
- The drums
a. I'd invest in some good money (or a few hours on Kazaa) in new drum sample libraries for your synth, drum brain and/or computer. It's not that the drums sound bad, but they dont sound.....y'know.....like theres anything driving them. I like the snares sound, but I think you should utilize it a bit more to paint in the songs reverb.....also bring it up a few Db in the mix. Drums can help to push the momemtum of a chorus from half-ass to 6th gear, and that wont happen if it sounds like the drummer is playing 20 feet behind the rest of the instruments and behind a wall.
b. that cymbal........this is such a small gripe, but it's the one thing that I think keeps the track (mix wise) from having a gelled, consolidated feel. the cymbal simply sounds like it's an unwelcome guest in the mix. It pulls the listeners ears to the left and away from the strings and guitar. I'm all for throwing in weird quick spurts of sound that are way off centre pan, but I think such an obvious, (and continuous) sound like that crash become obstructive after a while.and as for the sound of the crash (a longer decay is needed)
c. the playing is just a little off time or jagged in some spots (notably on the ones after there is a fill) Since the kind of music you are playing is conducive to it.....don't be afraid to quantize your drumming in order to iron out time issues. other than that....the playing suits the track fine.
- Vocals.....bring them up a few Db (I realize they are supposed to sit a little back in the mix) if you dont want to boost all the vocals.....maybe add two +3 Db notches at 1.5 kHz and at 10 kHz to make them a little more intelligible.
Theres a few more suggestions I'd give, but they're really small and if you continue, you'll probably figure them out on your own anyways. I'd say keep playing......you've obviously got a natural skill for song structure and basic melody. The song's choruses could be oddly hooky if the songs tonal quality was brought up to par with it's writing.
Pro Starcrafter
11-09-2003, 11:09 PM
I honestly like your song.
'nuff said, heh.
The_Naked_Stalk
11-10-2003, 04:58 PM
The music didn't do anything for me, but I loved the spirit of your tune. I loved how this song is the sole survivor of fated art. I loved how you can't remember the lyrics because they were scrawled on something. Furthermore, you should note that it's a hell of a lot better than the first thing I ever came up with (it sounded like Smashing Pumpkins gone retarded).
So what I will say is this. You should definitely do more because you never really get to the good stuff right away. I've been composing and recording for years now, and there are a couple of things I learned that made this process easier to come to grips with.
1. Things always sound better with time. Give your music TIME to grow. Give yourself time to come to grips with what the music and what it is to you. Individually and collectively.
2. A like-minded musical partner will make composing/recording something you live for. You can't really compose by yourself until you've composed with another. This is also a good idea because of how difficult just getting started is. When you get together with someone else to make music, you set aside a special time for it. For example, if you're alone and you have a song idea that just isn't blossoming the way you want it to you may give up on it for a while and say "I'll come back to it later." When later comes sometimes you won't be able to remember what you were doing. But if you're working with someone else any little thing can trigger a better idea, a new path, a different arrangement, etc. It's happened to me countless times.
3. Always realize that luck has nothing to do with music. For a long time I was convinced that my music was somehow a lucky event, divine inspiration, etc. While these things drive the music forward and in certain directions, they are not the root cause of the music. The music came and still comes from me. Sometimes I'll have an idea for a piece and I'll ramble on and I'll get to thinking, "Well what's the point in laying this down?" or "Will I still like this as much tomorrow?" And the song will just die. It's not a bad thing for me because I know that whatever I'm trying to lock into when writing is something that does not go away, and only becomes clarified as I become a better artist.
I hope this inspires and/or helps. By all means continue with your musical endeavors.
Be peaceful,
James
Seige
11-14-2003, 11:28 AM
I just registered in these forums for one specific reason. To tell you this is an amazing song. Any Tool or NiN album would be improved with this song. (Well, any NiN album anyway.....Tool's 80 minute masterpieces would be hard to improve upon......)
You've got a secure spot in my WinAmp playlist. And if you ever create/produce/become-involved-with a band again tell me about it so I can listen.
Restrain_yourself
12-03-2003, 10:51 AM
I realize that this is a little late but maybe you will look...
I believe that this song is jumbled and should be switched around
1) When the piano comes in should be switched with the consant bass sound meaning the piano should be the first sound then the bass should come in with the wavey tune.... and the lyrics should be sooner in the song
2) When the drums do that little beat before they come in should be after the harder part when the song goes back to piano
3) The vocals need to be louder and an octive higher *except the lyrics "this pain inside of me"*
4)the instruments stop and start to abruptly except the middle when you sing again
The musical notes in this song are perfect
Peace--------------------and goodbye
m4yn4rd
12-03-2003, 06:21 PM
i hearted it very much
toocooltool
07-14-2006, 06:00 AM
I prefer Rep's music...
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