Elizabeth
11-30-2002, 05:17 PM
this is just my interpretation. here's a little story:
i was this totally screwed up person, still am in ways..i wrote a letter to this man, who is in a pretty well known band. my second letter to him i wrote some lyrics to a song, and he put it on their album. i kept writing the band, sending them poems and stuff and they put some of it on their album, and they said they wrote it. they were good lyrics, i guess that is why they chose to do what they did. they were my scarlet lettermen. im not gloryfing what i did, i am not proud of it. i had a severe case of schitzophrenia which i am now pretty much healed of...anyway....
wear your grudge like a crown of negativity
i had a grudge against my parents who physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally abused me pretty bad for a long time....and i complained about it to everyone. my big thing was how i couldnt cry, and i still cant, but anyway, i dont really hold that grudge anymore. i forgave my parents...i "let go" it was my whole meaning to everything i said. it was my connection to the man who i was writing letters. our "tragedies in life"
plus i held a grudge against the band for using my lyrics when i told them they could. though i really didnt like it. now i really dont care, they can have them, cuz that isnt how i feel anymore.
calculate what we will or will not tolerate
i used to try to be perfect in my letters so this man would want to be with me. i wore a mask, and i would try to say what i thought they wanted to hear.
desperate to control all and everything
i pretty much did control them...i dont know why they let me. it was fun though. i told them how to write their album...but i dont really think that is how i relate to this, cuz that was fun, how i relate to this is: i wanted to control how this guy felt, and i wanted every single song on the album to be about me. hehe....pretty selfish. i was a very selfish person full of problems.
terrified of being wrong
i felt like if i was wrong, like if my opinion differed from theirs, then they would reject me. which is totally confining...
that is just a little bit of my interpretation. those were good and horrible times for me. hope you enjoyed my little story. goodnight. :)
i was this totally screwed up person, still am in ways..i wrote a letter to this man, who is in a pretty well known band. my second letter to him i wrote some lyrics to a song, and he put it on their album. i kept writing the band, sending them poems and stuff and they put some of it on their album, and they said they wrote it. they were good lyrics, i guess that is why they chose to do what they did. they were my scarlet lettermen. im not gloryfing what i did, i am not proud of it. i had a severe case of schitzophrenia which i am now pretty much healed of...anyway....
wear your grudge like a crown of negativity
i had a grudge against my parents who physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally abused me pretty bad for a long time....and i complained about it to everyone. my big thing was how i couldnt cry, and i still cant, but anyway, i dont really hold that grudge anymore. i forgave my parents...i "let go" it was my whole meaning to everything i said. it was my connection to the man who i was writing letters. our "tragedies in life"
plus i held a grudge against the band for using my lyrics when i told them they could. though i really didnt like it. now i really dont care, they can have them, cuz that isnt how i feel anymore.
calculate what we will or will not tolerate
i used to try to be perfect in my letters so this man would want to be with me. i wore a mask, and i would try to say what i thought they wanted to hear.
desperate to control all and everything
i pretty much did control them...i dont know why they let me. it was fun though. i told them how to write their album...but i dont really think that is how i relate to this, cuz that was fun, how i relate to this is: i wanted to control how this guy felt, and i wanted every single song on the album to be about me. hehe....pretty selfish. i was a very selfish person full of problems.
terrified of being wrong
i felt like if i was wrong, like if my opinion differed from theirs, then they would reject me. which is totally confining...
that is just a little bit of my interpretation. those were good and horrible times for me. hope you enjoyed my little story. goodnight. :)