when they were young

[excelver]

I think it may very well be that this song has no unlying meaning whatsoever. Just a blatantly obscene song describing maynard's dick. I mean, this is supposed to be from back in the opiate days, when the band obviously had yet to develop their more intricate and elaborate themes. The subject matter on the first EP ranged from shutup/fuckyou to i had a friend once who took some acid. Writing a song about one's own dick would fit well into this. And now they just figure hell, why not put it on as a hidden track? The band was still young back when they wrote this. Who wouldn't want to write a song about his penis? Guys reading this, come on, isn't it great to have one? All men ought to be proud of their dicks. Having one rules.

[Satanist]

Maybe Maynard was just really horny at the time and wanted someone to pay attention to his cock... Or he had to think of lyrics on the spot.....

[3rd eye]

Yeah I reckon this is a mad song and totally within the theme of the opiate days....I actually find this song to be hell funny, the fact that the music is rather mature, yet the lyrics so immature....a great acoustic track, ....
and yes I don't think Maynard would need to go to such great lengths in order to get his dick a little attention I meen, having a dick is fantastic but being a rock legend and also having a dick would be winning combination.............

[slowdiver]

i think the idea that they had yet to develop their ideas is a little off. the band was formed when all the band members were in their 20s, late 20s , i think the ideas on opiate have all evolved and seen new light on the other albums.Tool is not like your ordinary run of the mill band. describing them as having a cock rock mentality "in their early days" is a little ignorant ....now I think im rambling any way opiate isnt full of fuck you songs, theres only one, the rest are open your eyes songs. maynards dick is about the silly notion that just cause someones looking a to you , they dont necessarily want to fuck you. theres a little precognizance in there too, but thats for later.

[aeonblue]

I don't care what the song is about or anything (and to be honest, that is kind of a good subject for a song, i mean... take Bitchtina Aquilera's new song and spend a few minutes thinking about what that is about... it's the same everywhere.), but that song is really great!
And please don't get me wrong, I don't juxtapose Tool with Bitchtina, that was just an example.