fez
11-27-2002, 06:13 PM
Here's a post I posted years ago to tdn, and I still stand by a lot of my original convictions. I've had people email me regarding this interpretation and have had a chance to discuss it, including a gentleman who taught philosophy somewhere (I think at a secondary school level). I still encourage that, so if you want to discuss this piece, feel free to email me at the address at the bottom of this page. Thanks a lot. -fez
--
After reading a number of posts, especially some of the very interesting ideas in regard to the parental relationship that the song may suggest, I've tentatively concluded on my first 'sincere' thesis since I became an English major. Please excuse any typographical errors. I'm an artist at heart, and a very sloppy one.
H., while alluding to everything from addictions, decisions, and temptations, refers to all of these, above and beyond any one concept. The song remains both beautifully sentimental and tragic. I think that
a) Yes, the song is about a certain affliction or 'addiction'.
b) It does pertain to a parental relationship, but not Maynard's, specifically.
c) It relates to letting go.
d) And finally, before I begin, it does have to with the angel/devil-conscience theory that Maynard mentioned on November 23rd, 1996 in Philidelphia before the song.
Specifically, if I can figure out how to express this concisely, the song H. refers to the tempting pattern a parent feels they need to abide by in order to successfully care for their children. Parents, prone to unconditional love and care that transcends time, have a very difficult time 'letting go' of their children and feel the paternal/maternal instinct to safeguard the nest. In short, the song is about parenthood, yes, but on a complex level. It is about a parent, any parent, letting go of their children and letting them grow up.
The song seems to run on a timeline, first describing early parenthood:
(-)What's coming through is alive/What's holding up is a mirror.
I'm thinking that this has to do with the instance of birth itself, and then being able to look into your own eyes by connecting with your child.
The references to the 'snake' I think represents the temptation, as it does religiously, only in this sense to achieve and realize parenthood and the role that ensues with the birth of a child.
(-)Looking to turn this piss to wine
There's an element of childbirth which changes your entire paradigm on life itself. Within the innocence of a child, there is no void, there is no evil. Everything that is wrong with the world is lost through the eyes of a child, and we worry not with the 'matters of consequence' as an adult would. Piss to wine reference is possibly an allusion to this 'everything is right and perfect' idea.
(-)They're both totally void of hate/But killing me just the same.
The parental instinct (the temptation of uncontrollable care) and the child being born itself are both void of any ill-rooted intentions, both are the products of love itself, but they have a really hard time co-existing. Do I shelter my child or allow freedom for bloom? How do I allow both? It manages to rip you apart.
The next verse ("The snake behind me hisses..") brings us up to the time when the child is grown, ready to move on, to nest. The "behind me hisses" refers to the past temptations to shelter and smother a child with love, as echoes of that temptation resurface. All the temptations in the past, so many were thankfully ignored, "What my damage could have been" had I smothered my child, would I be as proud of them as I am now?
(-) My blood before me begs me, open up my heart again.
When you see your child, no matter how old they are, you still want to protect, to save, to help, to (s)mother. And it comes on like a storm: inevitable, unbearable, compromising and predictable.
The song continues in this fashion, remembering what the torment was like over all the years where you watched your child hurt, play, anything, and how you wish you could run and save them, but knew you couldn't. And it "Drains me, bleeds me, Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."
(-)I am too connected to you to/Slip away, to fade away.
(-)Days away I still feel you/Touching me, changing me...
These are good thing, the longing for a child lost, but not gone, the love that is evoked in that longing to have them back, under the protective parental wing. And it considerately kills you.
Two very important elements are addressed in the bridge before the "I don't mind" parts of the song come about. First, 'the snake is drowned' as the temptation fades off to smother your children. The parental instinct remains, but the relentless need to protect slips away as you realize your children no longer need your protection, and the fear fades as the addiction to being overprotecting subsides. Secondly, 'the walls come down', which symbolizes that the child has realized that the parent has had no choice but to be extremely overprotective, and there is a slow epiphany between the child and the parent that signifies all is understood. These two elements really helped me key into what the song is about.
(-)I could have cried then/I should have cried then
In retrospect, you remember all of the times you were overbearing, and you realize that you should have cried with the realization that you wre hindering a personal growth in another human being.
(-)Recalling all of the times I have died...
In retrospect, you remember all of the times you weren't overprotective, and how it killed you to let you child operate freely, as you incessantly worried about their welfare.
But, for what it's worth, it helped. And you wouldn't trade anything in the world. You "don't mind.. don't mind.."
And yet, at the end of it all (final verse) You still have that parental instinct, and the child you brought into this world is still just an infant in your heart, and you continue into the echo of their adulthood to childcare, and it rips you slowly apart.
Until I thought about it, this song was never really a love song. But it is. And it's about those decisions, that angel saying it's okay, and that devil saying any given antithesis to that. Think about it. I hope I was clear, because I was by no means concise. Please email me at [email protected] to discuss what you think.
--
After reading a number of posts, especially some of the very interesting ideas in regard to the parental relationship that the song may suggest, I've tentatively concluded on my first 'sincere' thesis since I became an English major. Please excuse any typographical errors. I'm an artist at heart, and a very sloppy one.
H., while alluding to everything from addictions, decisions, and temptations, refers to all of these, above and beyond any one concept. The song remains both beautifully sentimental and tragic. I think that
a) Yes, the song is about a certain affliction or 'addiction'.
b) It does pertain to a parental relationship, but not Maynard's, specifically.
c) It relates to letting go.
d) And finally, before I begin, it does have to with the angel/devil-conscience theory that Maynard mentioned on November 23rd, 1996 in Philidelphia before the song.
Specifically, if I can figure out how to express this concisely, the song H. refers to the tempting pattern a parent feels they need to abide by in order to successfully care for their children. Parents, prone to unconditional love and care that transcends time, have a very difficult time 'letting go' of their children and feel the paternal/maternal instinct to safeguard the nest. In short, the song is about parenthood, yes, but on a complex level. It is about a parent, any parent, letting go of their children and letting them grow up.
The song seems to run on a timeline, first describing early parenthood:
(-)What's coming through is alive/What's holding up is a mirror.
I'm thinking that this has to do with the instance of birth itself, and then being able to look into your own eyes by connecting with your child.
The references to the 'snake' I think represents the temptation, as it does religiously, only in this sense to achieve and realize parenthood and the role that ensues with the birth of a child.
(-)Looking to turn this piss to wine
There's an element of childbirth which changes your entire paradigm on life itself. Within the innocence of a child, there is no void, there is no evil. Everything that is wrong with the world is lost through the eyes of a child, and we worry not with the 'matters of consequence' as an adult would. Piss to wine reference is possibly an allusion to this 'everything is right and perfect' idea.
(-)They're both totally void of hate/But killing me just the same.
The parental instinct (the temptation of uncontrollable care) and the child being born itself are both void of any ill-rooted intentions, both are the products of love itself, but they have a really hard time co-existing. Do I shelter my child or allow freedom for bloom? How do I allow both? It manages to rip you apart.
The next verse ("The snake behind me hisses..") brings us up to the time when the child is grown, ready to move on, to nest. The "behind me hisses" refers to the past temptations to shelter and smother a child with love, as echoes of that temptation resurface. All the temptations in the past, so many were thankfully ignored, "What my damage could have been" had I smothered my child, would I be as proud of them as I am now?
(-) My blood before me begs me, open up my heart again.
When you see your child, no matter how old they are, you still want to protect, to save, to help, to (s)mother. And it comes on like a storm: inevitable, unbearable, compromising and predictable.
The song continues in this fashion, remembering what the torment was like over all the years where you watched your child hurt, play, anything, and how you wish you could run and save them, but knew you couldn't. And it "Drains me, bleeds me, Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."
(-)I am too connected to you to/Slip away, to fade away.
(-)Days away I still feel you/Touching me, changing me...
These are good thing, the longing for a child lost, but not gone, the love that is evoked in that longing to have them back, under the protective parental wing. And it considerately kills you.
Two very important elements are addressed in the bridge before the "I don't mind" parts of the song come about. First, 'the snake is drowned' as the temptation fades off to smother your children. The parental instinct remains, but the relentless need to protect slips away as you realize your children no longer need your protection, and the fear fades as the addiction to being overprotecting subsides. Secondly, 'the walls come down', which symbolizes that the child has realized that the parent has had no choice but to be extremely overprotective, and there is a slow epiphany between the child and the parent that signifies all is understood. These two elements really helped me key into what the song is about.
(-)I could have cried then/I should have cried then
In retrospect, you remember all of the times you were overbearing, and you realize that you should have cried with the realization that you wre hindering a personal growth in another human being.
(-)Recalling all of the times I have died...
In retrospect, you remember all of the times you weren't overprotective, and how it killed you to let you child operate freely, as you incessantly worried about their welfare.
But, for what it's worth, it helped. And you wouldn't trade anything in the world. You "don't mind.. don't mind.."
And yet, at the end of it all (final verse) You still have that parental instinct, and the child you brought into this world is still just an infant in your heart, and you continue into the echo of their adulthood to childcare, and it rips you slowly apart.
Until I thought about it, this song was never really a love song. But it is. And it's about those decisions, that angel saying it's okay, and that devil saying any given antithesis to that. Think about it. I hope I was clear, because I was by no means concise. Please email me at [email protected] to discuss what you think.