Turn around and shake my hand...

[ajp1982]

Okay, something a little light hearted.

Whats your funniest misheard Tool lyric?

A.

[dusanm]

Ok, here it goes :)

Try and open my third eye :D

[Hindu]

Ok, here it goes :)

Try and open my third eye :D



From the Pot,

"When you piss all over my black ghetto..."

[Elepherious]

From the Pot,

"When you piss all over my black ghetto..."

heh,
Hooker with a penis here, has to be;
nipple rings new tatoos that claimed that 'pain was something tame' and 92 the first he came

[ajp1982]

How this for a mondegreen. A girl at work thought that 'desensitised to everything' was 'the Simpsons tell you everything'...

Thats some funny shit.

A.

[Elepherious]

A girl at work thought that 'desensitised to everything' was 'the Simpsons tell you everything'...

Thats some funny shit.

A.

thats pretty good,
hmm iam still trying to think of any other ones ive had, but i think the hooker with a penis was it....

[Elepherious]

err actually now that ima going through the albums, on undertow, bottom, from time to time, now i Know the lyrics, and always have but from time to time when iam not paying attention i still hear;

My fith hand moans of you and
instead of
my piss and moans of you....

[ajp1982]

On 10KD, i overheard my girlfriend sing 'angels on the sidewalk'... so we laugh whenever we're in the car listening to 10KD and drive past someone on the footpath...

but i shouldnt pick on her too much. Thanks to the 'carpet bombing' of tool in the house, she now listens to Tool instead of Craig David, Missy Higgins, and the latest Australian Idol. She is making good progress and is expected to recover soon.

A.

[(self(other]

fuck all you "juggies" and fuck your short memory, manshow didnt even exist

[amenorakumo]

"Why carry us behind you while the whole world dies" (Vicariously I live) ... the actual title of the song and I got it wrong.

[jonboy]

Ok, here it goes :)

Try and open my third eye :D

Brian opened my brown eye

[slamminsalmon]

"we are a turtle all this pain is an illusion"

[ajp1982]

hahah thats more like it!

[jonboy]

Best thread award

[ajp1982]

In the words of Danny Carey: "I would like to thank my parents for putting up with the cacophany i have created for the past 15 to 20 years, Bientje and Satan...."

A.

[rintoot]

I used to think there was a segment in "The Pot" that was just full of like big words that i didnt understand...then i looked at the lyrics and it was

"Foot in mouth and head up asshole watcha talkin bout?"

i thought asshole was like vassel which id never heard of...but its not anyway so...

[Solaris]

" Must be done, be true to jerk-off just like you" (Instead of "It must not be true for jerk-offs just like you")

[ajp1982]

Brian opened my brown eye

BAHAHAH!

A.

[resonance.]

"we are a turtle all this pain is an illusion"

LOL

[Caley]

Before we find a way.
(before we pine away.)

[opiated]

"When you pissed all over my volcano (black kettle) . . . "

I thought it was some reference to their record label.

I must be out of my head.

[jonboy]

BAHAHAH!

A.

Then I thought "prying opened my turd eye"

[ajp1982]

Hahaha...Bryan was better. Hope he was gentle.

A.

[AlltheteainChina]

.

[PShepherd11]

These are great. This is the one that stands out in my memory:

From The Patient when he says "I must keep reminding myself of this, I must", I kept hearing "I must keep reminding myself I missed my bus" :)

I knew it was absurd, but that's what I kept hearing.

[(self(other]

Also a misconception I had when listening to Prison Sex... I didnt pay much attention to the lyrics back in the day so "i need you to feel this" I thought was directed to the listener... feel this song

[opiated]

I also thought that . . .

(From "Hooker with a Penis:") "Never mess about with a solider, dumbfuck . . ." ["All you know about me is what I've sold ya', dumbfuck."]

(From "Ænema:") "Fret for your Prozac and fret for your eyelid . . ." ["Fret for your Prozac and fret for your pilot."]

I still sort of hear the last one if I'm drowsy and spacing out.

[ajp1982]

hahah yeah ive fallen for the 'eyelid' one before when the album first came out...

A.

[base metal]

46 and 2

"Takin' out a fat ho...order her the super size"

That's how I sing it at karaoke anyway.

[PShepherd11]

.

[PShepherd11]

46 and 2

"Takin' out a fat ho...order her the super size"



Umm...what part are you hearing this at?

[base metal]

Umm...what part are you hearing this at?

@5.15 - 5.20...Just after the "drum solo" at 5.05...

See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armour
Hoping I can clear the way by
Stepping through my shadow (Takin' out a fat ho)
Coming out the other side (Order her the super size)
Step into the shadow
Forty-six and two are just ahead of me

It's not a misheard lyric... I was joking... me and my friend have "re-written" that lyric just for shits and grins.

[weesper]

I somewhere read that someone had heard 'burn the gym' instead of learn to swim (might actually have been on TDN like ten years past)

[Amazonis]

Eulogy - He shot all the elves (he sure could yell).

[DON IOTAE]

FIGHT!

MY NEW REAGAN!

- hooker with a penis.

[base metal]

LOLZ to...
"when you piss all over my black ghetto"
"brian opened my brown eye"
"we are a turtle, all this pain is an illusion"
"he shot all the elves"

..these are great.

[maggie72]

Rosseta Stoned-

And Can anyone tell me why,
all the sudden, my penis hurts
will I ever be coming down...

[tomisatool]

I had Maynard's Dick on a burned CD for like a year, so I was singing along to "Maynard's Dead (Maynards James)" and "Die six bullets at a time cause Maynard's Dead (slide six inches at a time on Maynards dick"and I thought the open center thing was about a gun...and "Take you to the back of the Tool shed, shoot you in you fuckin forehead(take you to the back of the toolshed, lay my dick on top of your forehead)"

[fretforyourfigure462]

hahaha.
mine's pretty dumb...

"push it on me"
I though it was
"shit on me"
when I first heard it.

hahaha.....it kinda sounds like it though.

[fretforyourfigure462]

"we are a turtle all this pain is an illusion"

*snickers*
This one is my favorite.

[ajp1982]

i always thought that the 'pu/shit on me' is intended...

A.

[the midas touch]

Tool - The Pot
First few listens I heard: "When you shit all over my black hat woahhh"

[ajp1982]

Another one courtesy of my girlfriend:

'Who are you to point your fanny fingers at me'

A.

[Solaris]

When I first heard Prison Sex, I heard "I was so young and astral"(instead of vestal)

[ColdLogic]

Or "put shit on me, put shit in me"

[]v[edusa]

lol... ok at the time i was listening to a recording of the "book of the law" quite a few times by aleister crowley and so when i began listening to jambi i thought maynard said "divide, add, multply away" ...LOL!!! in case u never read the book of the law before; chapter 1 verse 25 is "divide, add, multiply, and understand"
.... yet another great book.

[EGG-MAN]

In Right in two when he says "don't these talking monkeys know that eden has enough to go around" i thought it was "donkeys talking, monkeys noting eden has enough to go around."

[fivenichols]

Somewhere in Pushit I hear:

"But you're pushing, and shoving, and scrambling to keep my feet off the ground."

There's a couple more but I can't recall them.

I also used to think Stinkfist said "Turn around and kiss my ass."

[toolrox19]

yeah, mine about pushit is like that but its also in refrence to another thread "keep my feet level on the ground" but i never heard that, and " shit on me"/" pu shit on me"



and a few from stinkfist "the santa tought u everything..." "denial, and cheat, ditching, tell i heal something..."

[base metal]

Or "put shit on me, put shit in me"

This is what I heard for a long time.

[toolrox19]

aenima, " i'm prayin for the whole way in, i'm prayin the entire way" actual- "i'm prayin for rain, i'm prayin for tidal waves"

[PShepherd11]

Another one is from Opiate:
"Deaf and blind and dumb ARE born to follow" instead of, "Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow"

[maggie72]

from The Pot

Weepin shades of chosen indigo

instead of cozened!!

[toolrox19]

eulogy-'you clay ackened all this time...' or however you spell clay acken
actual-'you claimed all this time that you would die for me...'

[Chronicle0]

This is what I heard for a long time.




+1

I didn't like the song but then i read the lyrics and fell in love with it lol

[jonboy]

from The Pot

Weepin shades of chosen indigo

instead of cozened!!

Your not alone there.

[Pure As We Begin]

Parabola

I heard:
"In this hoooooooole, get me outta hear"

Actual:
"In this hooooooooly reality"

I heard:
"Alriiiiiiiight"

Actual:
"Aliiiiiiiiive"

I'll try to remember more later...

[Eight]

I kept hearing "like an Aborigines"
instead of
"Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,"
In Rosetta Stoned

Then for The Pot
I heard "Soapbox house of cars and glass"
instead of
"Soapbox house of cards and glass so
Don't go tossin' your stones around"

[Cooly]

I've got a few, in RS "And my penis bearing.."

In d/r/t (I can't keep track of which is which, i see them as one) I thought it was "Before I tidal wave"

In 46 and 2 i thought it was "I couldn't love a jew"

And my favorite... my friend thought "Circus Sideshow" was "Circumsize You"

[PShepherd11]

And my favorite... my friend thought "Circus Sideshow" was "Circumsize You"

LOL

[Nietzsche's Dead]

"we are a turtle all this pain is an illusion"

:D

[smeefsmeef]

FROM STINKFIST:

****"slowly can't abandon thou ... A wing-ed little bumblebee"****
"since I taught you everything, hold it very slowly"

instead of :

"something kind of sad about, the way that things have come to be."
"desensitized to everything, what became of subtely?"

Before the lyrics were released, that's what I, and everyone I knew thought was sung.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

***listen, this is what he REALLY says, phonetically***

[Clutch_The_Cornerstone]

^^ haha its funny how our minds progress isnt it? that funny shit man I think I had a stanza of that type in my earlier years of existance also. ha

[ARMZ]

At first I thought….

I’m reaching for the rectum wall
I’m reaching for the random or…

Well it pays to cross me over, well it worked and got me in
For a piece to cross me over, or a word to guide me in…

Looking to turn my pistol wide
Looking to turn my piss to wine…



This stoner moment was proudly bought to you by bud, bud, that sweet smelling refreshing taste that is bud.

[the_milkman]

Jimmy:
i was too stoned to realize you were the voice that's been calling me back home

[PShepherd11]

Jimmy:
i was too stoned to realize you were the voice that's been calling me back home

I still hear that.

[erazorhead]

yeah, i definately hear 'too stoned' in jimmy, as well as FUCK YOU REAGEN in Hooker, eyebrow deep as opposed to eyeballs deep in the pot (also something about a 'reefer saviour'), and yeah, the pistol one in H.

[the_milkman]

lol also:
see you down in paris on a bay
correct version is "see you down in arizona bay"

[Lawy]

"this pooooooooor reality" (holy)

[hobblegobble]

Tool - The Pot
First few listens I heard: "When you shit all over my black hat woahhh"

LOL

When Vicarious was played the first time on the radio, I thought the guy said the name of the song was "Bicurious"...so for a while there I thought the first single off the album was "Bicurious"

[Pancthulhu]

I kept hearing "like an Aborigines"
instead of
"Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,"
In Rosetta Stoned



Haha, I used to hear that too.

In Right in two when he says "don't these talking monkeys know that eden has enough to go around" i thought it was "donkeys talking, monkeys noting eden has enough to go around."

I used to think it was "donkeys talking, monkeys eating even though there's enough to go around."

[PShepherd11]

I used to think it was "donkeys talking, monkeys eating even though there's enough to go around."

LOL

[the_milkman]

LOL

When Vicarious was played the first time on the radio, I thought the guy said the name of the song was "Bicurious"...so for a while there I thought the first single off the album was "Bicurious"

ahahahaha, funniest post so far man

[a-groan-of-tedium]

H.

"Slipping honey, this is what my damaged could have been"

"I am too con-air tech" "I am too canard tech" "I am too. Come here, Dick".

[louise_duo]

LOL

When Vicarious was played the first time on the radio, I thought the guy said the name of the song was "Bicurious"...so for a while there I thought the first single off the album was "Bicurious"


haha BEST

biiicuriously iii

[FriendlyAlien]

RS: ...and my penis aching.....
Pot: ...while you pissed all over my back, kiddo.....
Vicarious: ....Why carry us.... (instead of vicariously)......
Grudge: ....Wear the cross like a crown......

Am I the most stupid person in this forum?

[Divine_left]

I'm off to listen to some songs and I'll be back with a report of misheard lyrics.

My 11 year old self practically re-wrote Aenima.

[Divine_left]

Not mine, but my all time favorite:
FRYING ONIONS MIGHT HURT EYES!

[Divine_left]

Surprisingly these make a lot of sense, sometimes more sense than the actual lyrics...

"To ascend you must die
You must be crucified
Don't you step out of line
Good bye!"

I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Change the way I still feel you
Touching me, changing me...

Venom, once, twice, tempts me, (venomous voice tempts me)

All you know about me's what I've sold you
Don't fuck us, sold out long before you ever even heard my name.

I used to have a really good misheard for "under a dead ohio sky", but I forgot it...

It still sounds like "Eleven I have found you", not "So glad that I have found you" (according to this websites lyrics)


Some say the end is near,
Some say we'll see it all again soon
...
Freaks here in this pompous fucking hole we call LA
...
Fret for your lawsuit, and fret for your herpes.

Some say a comic will fall from the sky
...
Fuck L Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clothes
...
I wanna see it go ridin' down
I wanna watch it go ridin'

if I have time I'll go through other albums later...

[Eulogy33]

haha..OK.

at the Sept 14th, 2006 concert Maynard changed the lyrics on Aenima from "learn to swim" to "gotta piss" WELLLLLLL...i misheard him and thought he was singing "LIKE A PIMP!"

[Eulogy33]

from The Pot

Weepin shades of chosen indigo

instead of cozened!!


yea, i thought it was that for a long time too...until i read the lyrics.

[dirkz]

from the song Aenima:

"Bomb's coming round to put it back the way it outta be." Made sense at the time.

[Cheesegreater]

from The Pot

Weepin shades of chosen indigo

instead of cozened!!

Get this. I used to think he was saying "You weep and change in chosen intervals."

It's cool line if you think about it.

[Arkham Asylum]

In 46 and 2 i thought it was "I couldn't love a jew"

I think I know where you're hearing this, so that's fucking hysterical.

[pork chops]

fuck these dysfunctional insecure officers.

[Ghostwriter]

I used to think, "Prying open my third eye" was: "Crying over my third eye".
When I discovered I was wrong I got upset and felt like crying... Just kidding, but I really did get the lyrics messed up like that...

[nocatharsis]

Lateralus:

Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

i thought it was:

"withering my empty wish, i'm basing never to have reason i must, feed my will to fuel the moment darling, way outside the lines" doesn't make much sense but that's what i heard before i read the lyrics...

and also in the song Jimmy at the 4:07+ part I thought he said "i'll move to heal as soon as maynard laughs so we can breathe, unite, and both move on together" i forget what he actually says, but it really sounds like "maynard."

and on the new one:

vicarious: "in a brave new world, we'll write as the story's told" / "neither the brave nor bold" or something like that.

the pot: "foot in mouth and head up asshole" (ass, so)

and the whole "fight" part in Right in Two, i made a post over what i thought i heard "Funny how they die over herd over sky they fight" etc.

[Ghostwriter]

I thought "Saturn ascends" was "Saturn of sins" (The Grudge)

[orangeisgoood]

ok, when i listened to the pot i seriously thought he was saying
"and you pissed all over my black head, oh" i still hear it like that most of the time...but i know its kettle...

[orangeisgoood]

LOL

When Vicarious was played the first time on the radio, I thought the guy said the name of the song was "Bicurious"...so for a while there I thought the first single off the album was "Bicurious"

LOL they should make another version of vicarious that sounds exactly like the first one, expect call it bicurious and change the words so it was really about bicuriousity. like they did with all of thoes stupid versions of crank that soulja boy...but this one would be hilarious.

[Mari Jaine]

Some of these posts are pretty funny.

I've misheard some of the same things listed here. I'll have to try and remember some others.

[*~*»¤«(Đispositioñ)»¤«*~*]

From Stinkfist: "It's not enough, just lay down, nothing stops the senate's fight."

(From the whole "nothing seems to satisfy part")

[Mari Jaine]

From Jambi, "My ass will be gone" (instead of "I might as well be gone").

[TaraChandler]

"Could use a beer down here..." = Strange lyrics that made no sense to me what so ever...

"Don't want to be down here..." = Actual lyrics-Reflection

[TaraChandler]

haha..OK.

at the Sept 14th, 2006 concert Maynard changed the lyrics on Aenima from "learn to swim" to "gotta piss" WELLLLLLL...i misheard him and thought he was singing "LIKE A PIMP!"

Lmfao! Like a pimp...hahaha

[Angel on the Sideline]

From Prison Sex:

"... so young and desperate" (instead of vestal).

[Schema]

hahaha.
mine's pretty dumb...

"push it on me"
I though it was
"shit on me"
when I first heard it.

hahaha.....it kinda sounds like it though.

I still hear it. Though, actually, it's (to my ears);
you still love me, you still love me
shit in me, shit on me

Which, I think... might be closer to its theme.

My favorite is my mother's mishearing of Ænema:

any bucket time, any bucket day

Oh, the problems of trying to explain shit to your parents...

[Mari Jaine]

My favorite is my mother's mishearing of Ænema:

any bucket time, any bucket day

Oh, the problems of trying to explain shit to your parents...

So, did you enlighten her with the actual lyrics?

[Schema]

So, did you enlighten her with the actual lyrics?

I did. It did take a few minutes to explain the Bill Hicks links, but I got there.

[Angel on the Sideline]

Yeah, first time I heard pushit I thought he was saying "you shit on me" too

[TheDude420]

i thought "Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay" was "learn to swim, ill see you down in Paris on a bay". Never made sense to me...

[○dissonance○]

LOL, this thread is fucking hilarious.

[irelandish]

It is fuuny how peoples minds take in lyrics, lol, but for pushit i thought it was put shit on me, lol, but cant really remember if i have misheard any other tool songs, but i do miss hear some tenacious d,

Some of the misheard stuff is brilliant ae, definitly puts a grin on tool fans faces, lol

[Schema]

vicarious: "in a brave new world, we'll write as the story's told" / "neither the brave nor bold" or something like that.

"Neither brave nor bold
Why has the story sold"? Sound close to what you heard?

as well as FUCK YOU REAGEN in Hooker

Heh. That actually could make sense.

My best mis-hearings in The Pot:

"I'm balls deep in muddy water" <- Eyeballs deep in muddy water
"Your balls deep in muddy water" <- Same line at end of song
"Shot without a reason" <- Shed without reason

[AcidRain]

Frying opened my third eye

But then again I was doing a lot of acid at the time.

[Schema]

Frying opened my third eye

Hey, you never know - it could work!

[○dissonance○]

LOL at "frying open my third eye." Just as funny as "Brian opened my third eye."

[Rolo]

any bucket time, any bucket day

Read this MTV. THIS is the way to handle explicit lyrics in the videoclips.

[○dissonance○]

LOL...much better than "Face your god."

[Cheesegreater]

"Learn to swim. See you now, hair is sorta gray."

Yeah... Thought that for about a year.

Oh yeah. "Like an aborigine, had me cryin' out." (instead "Like an apparition" in Rosetta Stoned)

[Divine_left]

Not Tool, but:
"What have I become, my Swedish friend
Everyone I know goes away Indian"

I've had that kicking around in my head for about a year now... still makes me laugh when I hear the song.

[tool25]

feel like an ass but... from The Patient, I heard "Must get rid of my name, my selfishness" instead of "I must keep reminding myself of this".

I still fuck it up on occasion lol.

[Schema]

Read this MTV. THIS is the way to handle explicit lyrics in the videoclips.

LOL.

[dxs]

I remember thinking at one point that "Vicarious" was some sort of God of death or something.

I couldn't really hear the words right, and so, when I heard it on the radio for the first time, it was like, "Valkyrius (at least, what I thought it said), I'll live while the whole world dies."

Boy, was I wrong. :)

[○dissonance○]

That would be even worse. I'm pretty sure it was "Face your god", but I could be wrong.

[girldk]

In jambi: breathe in union
I heard it like: bleed in you

hmm... :)

[๖ۣۜThe Stove๖ۣۜ]

I'd always figured "Kangaroo be stoned, he's guilty as the government" was actually "If he _______s, he's stoned, he's guilty. That's the government."

I had always thought he said "Shit on me" in Pushit, until reading this thread.

[○dissonance○]

Cutting my dog right in two.

Heh, I heard this last night while stoned and I wasn't paying attention to the song. Kinda funny.

[fivenichols]

In Eulogy, I still hear and sing sometimes:

"Jesus said you must die. You must be crucified..."

Instead of, "To ascend you must die..."

[Medicea Sidera]

In the intro of Flood i always though that he was whisper mother instead of WATER!

[Nous]

"When you pissed all over my volcano (black kettle) . . . "

I thought it was some reference to their record label.

I must be out of my head.

Actually you must have been out your MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNND!!!!!

[Inner_Eulogy]

Actually you must have been out your MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNND!!!!!

You DO realize that you're responding to something from over 5mos ago, right?

[gonzo]

Silly monkeys be carvin up man's best friend.

Yes. Don't cut the beast in two. We can rehabilitate.

[Rolo]

Whatever floats your boat, Poolboy

[Rolo]

I guess the boat is globally ignored now...

[Omega]

46&2:

beginning-
"jump my
jump my child"

a beast to cross me over
instead of
a piece to cross me over

listen to the loss of memory
instead of
listen to my muscle memory
SERIOUSLY, I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

calculate what i've been rainin' through

[rechemistry]

put shit on me

[dancingflame]

"so crucify diego before its far too late" -> reflection :D

[Arkham Asylum]

"so crucify diego before its far too late" -> reflection :D

Now I'm picturing Dora the Explorer saying that line and it's kinda scaring me.

[theamazingtool]

listening to Stinkfist, I've always heard:

something can be said about
the way that things have come to be
the system taught you everything
but they did it with subtlety

how could this mean anything to me
and im gay now
so im gonna sing it out

[Inner_Eulogy]

listening to Stinkfist, I've always heard:

something can be said about
the way that things have come to be
the system taught you everything
but they did it with subtlety

how could this mean anything to me
and im gay now
so im gonna sing it out

uhhhh....

[Rolo]

Now I'm picturing Dora the Explorer saying that line and it's kinda scaring me.

If so, he'll get his revenge.

http://www.ubercharged.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/2008-02-01-tf2-dora.jpg

[theamazingtool]

listen to it

[Mariana]

H. "they're both totally watery" ("they're both totally void of hate")

Horrible, I know! =)

[Mariana]

Some more:
Hooker with a penis. "Shut up and fire! fire! fire!" ("shut up and buy")
Eulogy. "Don't fight" ("Goodbye")

(the list is massive)