Syd
11-03-2006, 10:09 AM
For YEARS, whenever I heard Third Eye, I would get this overwhelming sad feeling. I think I even kind of avoided listening to the song after a while, though not intentionally. Then a couple of weeks ago I was listening to it and the part where Maynard sings "So good to see you, I've missed you so much, so glad it's over, I've missed you so much" played and I could feel the pain as a physical sensation in my heart, like it was going to explode, like there was something inside me trying to get out. So, after years of avoiding this, I dove into it. I kept listening to the song, one or two times a day for about a week.
I was driving home and it was playing – the word dream stuck in my head – then as soon as he sang "so good to see you I've missed you so much" I could see my sister in my mind. I remembered all of the dreams I have had of her since she died in 1998. In each one, no matter where we are or what else is going on, as soon as I see her, I know she has been gone, but I can't remember where she went, or why she went away, but I am just so glad she is back. I always tell her this. I always tell her how happy I am that she is back and that it is over. And she always looks at me with this look, this look of sadness and pity. Like she can't tell me. She can't tell me she is dead and not really back. And I wonder about the look, I wonder, but don't ever figure it out. Sometimes I've remember to tell her I love her – the one thing I wish I could say to her for real one more time - but not always, sometimes we "talk about the weather". I just go on hanging out like everything is ok until I wake up and remember. She is gone. She isn't coming back.
Maybe the dreams were influenced by the song. I sure listened to that album enough times during those years. Maybe not.
I wish I could sing that part just the way Maynard does. I wish I could sing it to her for real.
Thanks for giving me a place to say this.
I was driving home and it was playing – the word dream stuck in my head – then as soon as he sang "so good to see you I've missed you so much" I could see my sister in my mind. I remembered all of the dreams I have had of her since she died in 1998. In each one, no matter where we are or what else is going on, as soon as I see her, I know she has been gone, but I can't remember where she went, or why she went away, but I am just so glad she is back. I always tell her this. I always tell her how happy I am that she is back and that it is over. And she always looks at me with this look, this look of sadness and pity. Like she can't tell me. She can't tell me she is dead and not really back. And I wonder about the look, I wonder, but don't ever figure it out. Sometimes I've remember to tell her I love her – the one thing I wish I could say to her for real one more time - but not always, sometimes we "talk about the weather". I just go on hanging out like everything is ok until I wake up and remember. She is gone. She isn't coming back.
Maybe the dreams were influenced by the song. I sure listened to that album enough times during those years. Maybe not.
I wish I could sing that part just the way Maynard does. I wish I could sing it to her for real.
Thanks for giving me a place to say this.