Who is "smily glad-hands"??

[Godin]

Fuck smily glad-hands with his hidden agendas. Fuck these dysfunctional insecure actresses.

Who is smily glad-hands?? That IS what he's saying, isn't it? I was toying around with the idea that it referred to popular hippy feel-good artists, like Dave Matthews for instance. Just to throw an idea out there... Maybe MJK hates hippy mofo's who play guitar and sing happy songs.

-Godin

[5th Eye]

Politicians.

[bionic_anchovy]

Politicians, and fake people who smile to your face but are scheming behind your back.

[Godin]

Politicians, and fake people who smile to your face but are scheming behind your back.

Ok, so both of you say it's politicians. What'd lead you to believe that? There's no other complaint about politics in the song... or I don't think even in the whole album... or maybe even any album. Tool has never really concerned themselves that much, if at all, with political statements in their music, have they?

I think smily glad-hands is kind of mysterious. Every other person, thing, or trend he tells to fuck in that song is pretty specific. Smily glad-hands is the only vague one... hmm... why are his HANDS glad? One might be able to expain to themselves why a politician would have "glad hands" in some warped way or another, but to most people a "glad-handed politician" is unheard of. It's not a common characterization at all.

-Godin

[bionic_anchovy]

'Glad-handing' is a slang term generally used in politics.

Defined as: '[Often ironic] A handshake of welcome or of effusive greeting (generally to a stranger or a group of strangers).'

It's kind of a false friendliness that politicians, or anyone who wants to take advantage of someone else, use to disarm people so they'll feel at ease.

So, in the context of 'Fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas', Maynard is meaning fuck people who are outwardly friendly but inwardly have an agenda of their own to impose upon you. So basically, fuck 'fake' people. Do you see what I am saying?

I disagree that Tool are un-political. There are occasional political undercurrents to some of their lyrics, although they are buried quite deep. Maynard himself has said in interviews that they often had political references in their lyrics, but if they tried to talk politics in the press, it would just be ignored, so they stopped talking about it, and left it up to the lyrics to convey the meanings.

[spacemonkeyadb]

The above posts are correct in saying that the "smily glad-hands" are politicians, tho that doesn't mean he's making a political statement here. The song simply picks out and targets various character types that he feels are all too common in LA - gun-toting gangsta wannabes, insecure actresses, etc.
"Smily glad-hands with hidden agendas" = Politicians who are all smiles and glad to shake hands with you to your face (so as to get your vote), but will have hidden agendas to introduce legislation which will double your taxes, cut your wages, and generally screw you over.

[Godin]

'Glad-handing' is a slang term generally used in politics.

Defined as: '[Often ironic] A handshake of welcome or of effusive greeting (generally to a stranger or a group of strangers).'

...fuck people who are outwardly friendly but inwardly have an agenda of their own to impose upon you...fuck 'fake' people.


Aaaah. Well, I've never heard this expression, and I keep up on politics pretty well. That's why I initially chose to argue about the claim that it was about politicians.

Now I'm discussing nuances. Yes, you say it is "generally used in politics". No doubt because that is a place where "glad-handing" is notoriously common. Coming back to my statement about this song having no previous political implications, but only social ones.. I would choose to interpret this "fuck smily-gladhands" lyric as not focusing on politicians in Los Angeles, but the show-business types who "glad-hand" each other in order to gain friends in high places, etc.

Maynard is scorning everything that is typical about Los Angeles in this song. Glad-handed politicians are not typical to L.A. They are typical, period. :-)

Maynard is not bitching about society in general in this song. He is bitching specifically about Los Angeles, and its characteristic flaws. So, while you all may be correct that the "glad-hand" term is commonly used in political circles, that was NOT the correct answer to my original question. The correct answer would have been:


Smily Glad-hands is every resident of Los Angeles that is always building up their circle of friends and acquaintences only so that they can gain fruitful connections in the show-biz industry.

That is the answer someone should have given me, straight out. :-) I could not have come to this answer without the preceeding posts, though... of course.

[bionic_anchovy]

Aaaah. Well, I've never heard this expression, and I keep up on politics pretty well. That's why I initially chose to argue about the claim that it was about politicians.

Now I'm discussing nuances. Yes, you say it is "generally used in politics". No doubt because that is a place where "glad-handing" is notoriously common. Coming back to my statement about this song having no previous political implications, but only social ones.. I would choose to interpret this "fuck smily-gladhands" lyric as not focusing on politicians in Los Angeles, but the show-business types who "glad-hand" each other in order to gain friends in high places, etc.

Maynard is scorning everything that is typical about Los Angeles in this song. Glad-handed politicians are not typical to L.A. They are typical, period. :-)

Maynard is not bitching about society in general in this song. He is bitching specifically about Los Angeles, and its characteristic flaws. So, while you all may be correct that the "glad-hand" term is commonly used in political circles, that was NOT the correct answer to my original question. The correct answer would have been:


Smily Glad-hands is every resident of Los Angeles that is always building up their circle of friends and acquaintences only so that they can gain fruitful connections in the show-biz industry.

That is the answer someone should have given me, straight out. :-) I could not have come to this answer without the preceeding posts, though... of course.


Good point.

[eternalnuisance.com]

The folks that when you meet them, they smile and shake your hand, it feels all forced, like they just want your vote/attention/money/dope, and don't really give a shit about you as a human being, just what you have for them. I too say fuck those people, and L. Rons clones, cause I was dumb enough to waste 7.50 on Battlefeild Earth. Goddammit!!!!

[iAMtheMA!]

scientology is more political than actually religious.
glad-hands is certainly not the only reference to politics within this song.

[Solaris]

scientology is more political than actually religious.
glad-hands is certainly not the only reference to politics within this song.

Yes, but I would not say that the line about Hubbart and his clones is a reference to politics. I think that very few people think of politics when they think of scientology.

[eternalnuisance.com]

scientology is more political than actually religious.
glad-hands is certainly not the only reference to politics within this song.

And?

[fretforyourfigure462]

Ok, so both of you say it's politicians. What'd lead you to believe that? There's no other complaint about politics in the song... or I don't think even in the whole album... or maybe even any album. Tool has never really concerned themselves that much, if at all, with political statements in their music, have they?

I think smily glad-hands is kind of mysterious. Every other person, thing, or trend he tells to fuck in that song is pretty specific. Smily glad-hands is the only vague one... hmm... why are his HANDS glad? One might be able to expain to themselves why a politician would have "glad hands" in some warped way or another, but to most people a "glad-handed politician" is unheard of. It's not a common characterization at all.

-Godin




That's a really good point. However, in my interpretation of the song, I think Tool is disscussing every element of corruption in Los Angelas, including the politics. Even though it's not mentioned anywhere else, I'm pretty sure they are referring to politics.
"Fuck smiley glad hands with hidden agendas"

Hence, the hidden agendas...which I'm assuming means the things they hide from the people.

[Godin]

...Tool is disscussing every element of corruption in Los Angelas, including the politics. ...I'm pretty sure they are referring to politics.


While I'm not going to say "No! It is absolutely NOT about politicians!", I will ask you to read this message http://toolnavy.com/showpost.php?p=1335043&postcount=7 I wrote which is in the above thread -which I would consider the absolutely correct understanding of what Maynard was refering to.

Maynard's use of the term is ambiguous no matter how you look at it, but given the consistently non-political types of people that he criticizes in other parts of the songs (and given that all those other types of people are very characteristic of entertainment business types) I am going to assume the "gladhanded" people are also the entertainment industry types.


But, to think of it as a political reference is no big deal... it works.

[mjkajdcjc]

"Smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas."

Sounds like some politicians we all know today...

[tool fan]

scientology is more political than actually religious.
glad-hands is certainly not the only reference to politics within this song.

Scientology is neither political or religious. It is a dangerous, lunatic cult run by scam artists that exists solely to separate gullible rubes from their money.

As fas as "smiley gladhands" goes, that could mean anybody from politicians to corporate lackeys to corrupt officials or even perhaps well dressed Scientologists that approach you on the street.

[iAMtheMA!]

"Scientology is...run by scam artists that exists solely to separate gullible rubes from their money" - sounds awfully political and religious to me. scratch that, this guy was a shitty sci-fi writer and looked like a complete asshole. it's the "fat kid gets even" theory...

[jim39n]

for further reference
http://www.answers.com/topic/glad-hand


my first guess was managers/record execs/agents etc., seems to fit the whole LA show/music biz theme of the song

[Inner_Eulogy]

Don't mind Godin. His seemingly soul purpose on this forum is to question the obvious and theorize about the most far fetched non-sensible things you can imagine... It's like one of them kids that have to wear a helmet becuase they consistently bang their heads against the walls or tables...he can't help himself.

[Chris_Brightwell]

Who is smily glad-hands?? Did you read the FAQ (http://toolshed.down.net/faq/faq.html)?

[Inner_Eulogy]

Did you read the FAQ (http://toolshed.down.net/faq/faq.html)?


Here you go genius:
G59. What is a "smiley gladhand" supposed to be?
Gotta be one of those 'hand shaking smiley-faced' types. You know. Politicians

Word for word, and again this backs up my previous statement. It's exactly what it says yet you fucking question it.