A valuable insight into the intended meaning of this song

[Lysander]

If the FAQ is ever going to be updated, this would be worth adding in. It's a quote from Maynard at a concert; specifically from March 27th, 1998, at the Hollywood poladium. I can rip this section out and provide it as an mp3 to someone if they request proof. For the Record, they played the softer version of the song that you hear on Salival, after Maynard made the following introduction:

"This song is uh... kind of a very special dedication... to a very special person... who's uh... come an incredible distance in the--since this song was written. Uh, it's not really, rellivant to this person anymore--we're not even the same people we were when it was written but, this is kind of a tribute to her. Because she's worked so hard, and come so far. This song goes out to Quiet."

[futant55]

If the FAQ is ever going to be updated, this would be worth adding in. It's a quote from Maynard at a concert; specifically from March 27th, 1998, at the Hollywood poladium. I can rip this section out and provide it as an mp3 to someone if they request proof. For the Record, they played the softer version of the song that you hear on Salival, after Maynard made the following introduction:

"This song is uh... kind of a very special dedication... to a very special person... who's uh... come an incredible distance in the--since this song was written. Uh, it's not really, rellivant to this person anymore--we're not even the same people we were when it was written but, this is kind of a tribute to her. Because she's worked so hard, and come so far. This song goes out to Quiet."
I remember finding this bootleg right before salival came out. It wasn't very good quality, but I loved it. I was so happy when it was released on Salival.

[slick]

Don't think that this is a song about a woman. He dedicated it maybe to her but the meaning is a total different one.
As prove to that:
"Just remember I will always love you, even as i tear your fucking throat away"
I doubt that has anything to do with someone he has a sympathy to wouldn't you agree?! And if the song is about her than she has made similar experiences with abuse and for that he dedicated the song to her.

The whole song is about the paradoxical nature of abusive relationships in which someone asks himself if he can love someone that is treating him like shit. The paradox in there is that this "loving touch" is the only contact that someone who gets abused can get. It's about how someone can escape this horrible situation and it concludes in killing the one which abuses. -> "as i tear your fucking throat away but it will end no other way". The whole thing is dealing apparently with Maynard youth where he was abused himself. His love, his hate and desperation at that time.

[anarcho-commie]

I dont think it's necessarily talking about actual physical abuse. It's talking about mental abuse that goes on in a relationship in which on of the people is making it harder and harder for the other to feel them, understand them, and yes, love them. I had a very bad relationship not too long ago and I could relate so perfectly into the song, is was just unbelievable.

[guttersnipe]

This is kind of a new notion that popped into my head recently but I think the song can be related to drug addiction. Perhaps the person who's "worked so hard and come so far" is a recovering addict who has really had to work at staying clean and because she has she's come a long way since then?
I suppose there are a quite few lines in the song that if taken literally don't back up this theory but then again there are quite a few that do. If you look at the protaganist/ antagonist relationship as a dichotomy of ones own mind, caused by drug addiction then that puts the "throw your fucking throat away" line in the context of the protagonist having to rid herself of the addiction in order to live. Hence "remember I'll always love you"; because she/ he is addicted so they have a love for whatever substance they are hooked on (or used to love) but obviously she will die if she doesn't kill off the addiction: "Take care not to make me enter 'cause if I do we both may dissapear" (from earlier in the song)/ "it will end no other way". I interpret "throw your fucking throat away" literally as ridding oneself of the compulsion to use i.e. that inner voice that constantly makes you want to take drugs.

This is probably too subjective but maybe valid all the same ;)

[Lysander]

"Just remember I will always love you, even as i tear your fucking throat away" I doubt that has anything to do with someone he has a sympathy to wouldn't you agree?!

*Wistful sigh*

You'll understand when you're older, kid.

*Ruffles your hair in an insultingly paternal fashion*

[Zarathustra]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet this is about the mother of his son.

[ktdude]

I think that's a beautiful quote from MJK - obviously whatever has come to pass since the song was written has given him a new respect for the person who is the subject the song. You don't normally see that vulnerable side of him coming through and although I don't think he's necessarily saying that the song doesn't hold true anymore, as it is obviously tied to a particular point in time, that despite this he has forgiven and/or learnt to respect the person in question for what they have done since.

It could well be the mother of his son I guess.

[weesper]

The song is about abused becomes (or is afraid of becoming) abuser. 'terrified of what may come' is the abused person 'just remember I will always love you' is the person talking who is afraid this might happen based on his own previous experiences.

maynard is basically switching constantly from the voice of the little boy to the now parent afraid of resorting to the same behavioural patterns.

[unto her a vineyard]

i always thought it was about parenting, "what is this but my reflection" interesting whey to think about a child, "who am i to judge or strike you down" having trouble with discipline
spit on me sh*t on me....literal things that happen... i dunno

[parables in the world]

i like the idea of his sons mother since he says the person its about is a she. They are probably over this gap they had and now are learning to cope with one another for his son, since its irrelevent to her anymore, so it would be useless the way it on the album, so they modified it.

[unto her a vineyard]

sometimes her is just a more E feectionate word then him

Album version: pushing and shoving me you still love me, you still love me, shit in me, shit on me. you still love me, you still love me. shit in me, shit on me.

Also during one live version of the song it can cleary be heard:

"but you're pushing and i'm shoving you. and i'm pushing and i'm shoving you. you still love me, you still love me, you still love me, you're pushing and you're shoving and you're pushing and you're shoving me, but you still love me, you still love me, i still love you, you still love me. but you're pushing and you're shoving, now i'm pushing and i'm shoving....i'm slipping back into the gap again..."
(thanks to moneyisevil)


kind of seems to take on a whole lot, if you write a song about an intense complicated (term used loosely) relationship, you also write a song about alot of world issues, along the lines of macro and micro economics...i hope you understand what i mean by that and encourage to seek an understanding of interpersonal dynamics ))<->((

[GreenJellyFan]

Don't think that this is a song about a woman. He dedicated it maybe to her but the meaning is a total different one.
As prove to that:
"Just remember I will always love you, even as i tear your fucking throat away"
I doubt that has anything to do with someone he has a sympathy to wouldn't you agree?! And if the song is about her than she has made similar experiences with abuse and for that he dedicated the song to her.

The whole song is about the paradoxical nature of abusive relationships in which someone asks himself if he can love someone that is treating him like shit. The paradox in there is that this "loving touch" is the only contact that someone who gets abused can get. It's about how someone can escape this horrible situation and it concludes in killing the one which abuses. -> "as i tear your fucking throat away but it will end no other way". The whole thing is dealing apparently with Maynard youth where he was abused himself. His love, his hate and desperation at that time.

I think that if you dont understand how u can love someone, and want to rip their fucking throat out.... then u dont understand love my friend

[GreenJellyFan]

One of the most beautiful songs ever created by Tool

[mr. nikki jensen]

One of the most beautiful songs ever created by Tool

indeed

[SchwarzKatze]

Has anyone else seen that video of the fan who runs onstage and Maynard takes him down and finishes the song while choke holding the guy?

[iAMtheMA!]

thank you for this transcription, lysander. i will continue to intensely ponder "pushit" with this in mind. maynard seems to pre-comment on this tune a lot at their shows - what gives? hmmmmmmmmm...

i love how he says
"remember i'll always love you"
i feel it every time.

[boscobytes]

I take the "infant" part of the song literally. It's about an infant (note the crying) I think the song is about an unwilling transition into fatherhood. Possibly his own. The woman has not given him a choice and he's fighting it because he feels he will lose himself. He doesn't want to become his father or what he perceives a "father" to be. (an empty shell driving a minivan) Especially if he suffered abuse (or atleast disappointment) at the hands of his father. He doesn't want to abuse as well. Yet he feels the connection to the child and that complicates the issue. I think the relationship with the mother (girlfriend) was intense and smothering to begin with. He feels trapped and wants to escape.

[Forever In Debt]

Don't think that this is a song about a woman. He dedicated it maybe to her but the meaning is a total different one.
As prove to that:
"Just remember I will always love you, even as i tear your fucking throat away"
I doubt that has anything to do with someone he has a sympathy to wouldn't you agree?! And if the song is about her than she has made similar experiences with abuse and for that he dedicated the song to her.

The whole song is about the paradoxical nature of abusive relationships in which someone asks himself if he can love someone that is treating him like shit. The paradox in there is that this "loving touch" is the only contact that someone who gets abused can get. It's about how someone can escape this horrible situation and it concludes in killing the one which abuses. -> "as i tear your fucking throat away but it will end no other way". The whole thing is dealing apparently with Maynard youth where he was abused himself. His love, his hate and desperation at that time.

Wow, that was really good. And your right, just because they dedicated it to a woman doesn't mean it's ABOUT a woman. And, shows change all the time. You might here one thing at one concert, and the same band may say a totally different thing at another. I've heard Tool say different things about the same song depending on the show.

[ktdude]

Has anyone else seen that video of the fan who runs onstage and Maynard takes him down and finishes the song while choke holding the guy?
That is a classic piece of Tool footage, absolutely spot on. Maynard reacts in such a great way and manages to continue singing the song barely missing a beat.

[mjkajdcjc]

Wow, that was really good. And your right, just because they dedicated it to a woman doesn't mean it's ABOUT a woman. And, shows change all the time. You might here one thing at one concert, and the same band may say a totally different thing at another. I've heard Tool say different things about the same song depending on the show.

Yeah, I mean, when you look at something from different view points, like after each show, you may look back on what you thought you knew and change your mind based upon how you feel when you're ready to present the song. It's all a matter of how you analyze a song's lyrics.

[SaturnAscends1or10]

For some odd reason when I hear this song, I think of a conversation taking place inside a suicidal person's mind. I believe that it's a conversation b/t the rational and irrational parts of the human psyche. Rationality and irrationality have a sort of "relationship" and during the course of the song, rationality believes that the only way to save this person, is to destroy that irrational side. Throughout the song, the lyrics switch from the mind to the person; for instance when the man/woman says the whole "staring down the hall again, hands are on my back again, survival is my only friend / terrified of what may come" and then it switches back to inside his head just as rationality is destroying irrationality and "he" says, "remember I'll always love you as I claw your fucking throat away . . .". But I dunno I'm probably off somewhere all alone in left field, but that's just the picture I get.

[CaduceusVino]

I think that if you dont understand how u can love someone, and want to rip their fucking throat out.... then u dont understand love my friend

that's just the whole thing right there man. he's saying that the relationship isn't about give and take... it's about push and shove... He does love her under it all but they aren't good for one another. He loves that part of her that's nice and loving but there's also this side that's completely not loving. There's the part about him saying he might fade like a sigh and her wanting to essentially keeping him there. She's obviously more concerned with what she wants than what's good for him. That's not true love at all. Love is about loving somebody and wanting more for them than is what's convenient and good for you. That means she should want him to be happy wherever he is. But He says she was beggin me to stay. He loves her in the happy times... it's the other part of the time that he he's considering at the end of the song. You can love the abuser that hurts you and hate them for it at the same time. That's the mindfuck of it all.

[Forever In Debt]

that's just the whole thing right there man. he's saying that the relationship isn't about give and take... it's about push and shove... He does love her under it all but they aren't good for one another. He loves that part of her that's nice and loving but there's also this side that's completely not loving. There's the part about him saying he might fade like a sigh and her wanting to essentially keeping him there. She's obviously more concerned with what she wants than what's good for him. That's not true love at all. Love is about loving somebody and wanting more for them than is what's convenient and good for you. That means she should want him to be happy wherever he is. But He says she was beggin me to stay. He loves her in the happy times... it's the other part of the time that he he's considering at the end of the song. You can love the abuser that hurts you and hate them for it at the same time. That's the mindfuck of it all.

Definatly

[cmerenarc]

I think that CaduceusVino comes closest to my interpretation.

[fretforyourfigure462]

i like the idea of his sons mother since he says the person its about is a she. They are probably over this gap they had and now are learning to cope with one another for his son, since its irrelevent to her anymore, so it would be useless the way it on the album, so they modified it.

Could very well be. That would make the most sense.

[rintoot]

*Wistful sigh*

You'll understand when you're older, kid.

*Ruffles your hair in an insultingly paternal fashion*

lol, i liked that

[jim39n]

i know someone who had an unwanted sexual encounter at a very early age and repressed the memory till later in life

from that point on this person always associated any sexual activity with very very negative scary feelings. thus when in a relationship, this person had a very hard time with the sexual side of it. this person had sexual desires just like anyone else, but actually being involved in sexual situations was to much. when the other party in the relationship would bring up sexual acts, even in the most caring and sensative way, it turned in to a fight. the person would lash out in anger. when sexual activites would take place, they would often be nice at the time, but upon retrospect become skewed and distorted in the mind of this person and cause more anger and frustration. the once victim could not escape the fear of being being sexually and emotionally used.

we know maynard was apparently abused as a child, as one could infer from the lyrics of prison sex, and he has mentioned in interviews. i think this song is about him trying to be involved with a person in a very loving relationship but getting hung up on all the sexual things. a wounded dog bites. i think the "remember i will always love you as i claw your fucking throat away" line is a sincere message to the other party in this relationship, telling her that no matter how much he lashes out in anger and frustration from time to time, he still loves her.


just my take on the song based on my getting to know a victim of sexual abuse

[resonance.]

One of the most beautiful songs ever created by Tool

fixed

[toolrox19]

i have a bootleg that has a speech before it also so 'picture this if you will' haha rosseta stoned pun..." ever have someone love you so much that they tried to kill you, or perhaps suck you down into a hole and you had to kill them to get away.. me neither... (pu shit starts, studio version live)

[Mattywasaracecardriver]

this is probably the best thread ive read on a Tool song, all the ideas are proper working. i think Maynard has made this song openly personal to him for just this reason, so that to all the fans he can help create an understanding of how he will always love his mother, even when the "bad times" and memories come back to haunt him. the song seems to show the constant battle of love/hate thats going on. an essential song for everyday of my life.

[Mephet'ran]

i know someone who had an unwanted sexual encounter at a very early age and repressed the memory till later in life

from that point on this person always associated any sexual activity with very very negative scary feelings. thus when in a relationship, this person had a very hard time with the sexual side of it. this person had sexual desires just like anyone else, but actually being involved in sexual situations was to much. when the other party in the relationship would bring up sexual acts, even in the most caring and sensative way, it turned in to a fight. the person would lash out in anger. when sexual activites would take place, they would often be nice at the time, but upon retrospect become skewed and distorted in the mind of this person and cause more anger and frustration. the once victim could not escape the fear of being being sexually and emotionally used.

we know maynard was apparently abused as a child, as one could infer from the lyrics of prison sex, and he has mentioned in interviews. i think this song is about him trying to be involved with a person in a very loving relationship but getting hung up on all the sexual things. a wounded dog bites. i think the "remember i will always love you as i claw your fucking throat away" line is a sincere message to the other party in this relationship, telling her that no matter how much he lashes out in anger and frustration from time to time, he still loves her.


just my take on the song based on my getting to know a victim of sexual abuse

I think this is the best interpretation I've read sofar for Pushit, it fits with everything we know about Maynard.

[prater]

i don't really like to think of any song being about any particular person or thing or event. If I think it is about Maynard's mother then i can't relate as well to it. Maynards lyrics combined with the way he sings invokes emotions. Alot of his seem more like they are about the expression of certain feelings rather than events or people. This song has been a big help to me in understanding certain feelings I've had. I defiantly think there is a bit of self loathing in there, mixed with a love/hate at the same time, it could work for addiction, abuse both as the abuser and the victim. The pain in the end with the metaphor of loving someone so much and ripping their throat out, is a tear jerker every time. Those who one focuses their thoughts on in Jerk off, Swamp song or ticks and leeches can be hated. The one for this song is not fully hated or loved. But a constant struggle because one hates themself as well. Its so perfectly brilliant.

[LRonHubbard]

One of the most beautiful songs ever created by Tool


something i realize everytime i listen to it....i love it more and more

[ragextool]

im' so surprised this whole thread doesn't mention ' there's no love in fear'

[resonance.]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet this is about the mother of his son.

and so spake Zarathustra :)

[LRonHubbard]

im' so surprised this whole thread doesn't mention ' there's no love in fear'


i love this lyric..yet i dont know if i understand it ..maybe thats part of the beauty of it for me............