TooLooT
06-10-2006, 05:13 AM
This may be way off, but I have had some thoughts about this song due to recent events in my life. I was in a relationship where my girlfriend fell pregnant. We are both very young and there was no practical way that we could have a child without destroying our lives as well as the child's. After her abortion, this intense hatred filled our relationship. She would constantly attack me, physically, mentally and spiritually. I was trapped in this relationship of guilt for forcing her to get an abortion, even though "there would be no other way".
Pushit sounds like self judgement about a man forcing a woman to get an abortion, mixed with the abuse he has to tolerate on a daily basis. The self judgement is how he can "judge or strike down" something that is his "reflection". He doubts his actions and the validity of his thinking. He follows with the opposite path of attacking the woman, who knew the right decision, but needed a scapegoat to absolve herself of guilt ("rest your trigger on my finger").
It is this intense guilt and pressure that she puts on the man that drives him into this spiral of confusion and anger. He is trapped in a world where he has no control, and is constantly "slipping back into the gap again". He is trying to tell her that he is hurting as well as she, and he needs her ("i'm alive when you're touching me") and that she cannot continue to "shove (him) down".
After the wild and angry solos in the song, it mellows a bit, becoming sombre. I think this is an expression of depression continuing from this helpless feeling engulfing him. Simply put, he is "somewhere (he doesn't) wanna be", pushed there by her. He "never wants to see that place again", that place being this world of guilt and hatred that he cannot escape.
After this moment in the song, it builds up again, becoming more powerful. The man is finally rising above this prison he is in, and rising up against her. This ultimately means leaving her. She "begs him to stay", because the only thing holding her together is this transference of guilt onto him. But he "manages to push (himself) away, and (her)". He has finally worked up the courage to forget about what he has done to her (or what she has convinced him he has done to her) and finally stand up against what she is DOING to him. He has tried to tell her that he will "fade like a sigh if (he) stays" that she simply "minimizes (his) movement anyway". He has been dragged back into it, once again.
Now here is the part that I really relate to. I loved my girlfriend and dedicated my life to taking her abuse and trying to get her better. And it got to a point where I could not think of another way out of this life unless I "tore her fucking throat away". I was certain, more certain than I have been on anything else in my life, that "it would end no other way". It was the ultimate moment of desparation where he was "terrified of what may come" and the only thing that made him wake up the next day was the thought of survival. And if it ended no other way, it would end no other way.
P.S. If there are any cops reading this, dont worry, I didnt kill my girlfriend (however she is dead to me).
I don't believe that Maynard or the gang wrote this song as a consequence of the aftermath of an abortion. I think this song more appropriately related to intense and inexplicable pain that comes from being imprisoned in a cell with bars made of guilt. This is just my two cents and I would be interested to see what people think. Thanks for reading!
Pushit sounds like self judgement about a man forcing a woman to get an abortion, mixed with the abuse he has to tolerate on a daily basis. The self judgement is how he can "judge or strike down" something that is his "reflection". He doubts his actions and the validity of his thinking. He follows with the opposite path of attacking the woman, who knew the right decision, but needed a scapegoat to absolve herself of guilt ("rest your trigger on my finger").
It is this intense guilt and pressure that she puts on the man that drives him into this spiral of confusion and anger. He is trapped in a world where he has no control, and is constantly "slipping back into the gap again". He is trying to tell her that he is hurting as well as she, and he needs her ("i'm alive when you're touching me") and that she cannot continue to "shove (him) down".
After the wild and angry solos in the song, it mellows a bit, becoming sombre. I think this is an expression of depression continuing from this helpless feeling engulfing him. Simply put, he is "somewhere (he doesn't) wanna be", pushed there by her. He "never wants to see that place again", that place being this world of guilt and hatred that he cannot escape.
After this moment in the song, it builds up again, becoming more powerful. The man is finally rising above this prison he is in, and rising up against her. This ultimately means leaving her. She "begs him to stay", because the only thing holding her together is this transference of guilt onto him. But he "manages to push (himself) away, and (her)". He has finally worked up the courage to forget about what he has done to her (or what she has convinced him he has done to her) and finally stand up against what she is DOING to him. He has tried to tell her that he will "fade like a sigh if (he) stays" that she simply "minimizes (his) movement anyway". He has been dragged back into it, once again.
Now here is the part that I really relate to. I loved my girlfriend and dedicated my life to taking her abuse and trying to get her better. And it got to a point where I could not think of another way out of this life unless I "tore her fucking throat away". I was certain, more certain than I have been on anything else in my life, that "it would end no other way". It was the ultimate moment of desparation where he was "terrified of what may come" and the only thing that made him wake up the next day was the thought of survival. And if it ended no other way, it would end no other way.
P.S. If there are any cops reading this, dont worry, I didnt kill my girlfriend (however she is dead to me).
I don't believe that Maynard or the gang wrote this song as a consequence of the aftermath of an abortion. I think this song more appropriately related to intense and inexplicable pain that comes from being imprisoned in a cell with bars made of guilt. This is just my two cents and I would be interested to see what people think. Thanks for reading!